I found my mother sitting on the short row of steps in the backyard.
“What are you doing here? Was the pasta that bad?” She asked, immediately I sat down.
I huffed, shaking my head in disbelief. “Of course not, mom. It’s just that I was lost in my thoughts. I was wondering why your face seemed so sullen. And I kept wondering what the Lycan king had said in the meeting about me. My mind conjured up the worst thoughts, and believing that, had caused me to drop the fork. Mom, I could never be unhappy with your food. Never think of that again.” I replied, placing my hand across her shoulder, whilst pressing myself to her.
She hugged me then by the side, rocking me gently, more to console herself than to reassure me.
Anything to make her feel okay. I thought, wrapping my arms around her too. Perhaps Lent was right. I had been the cause of the uproar tonight.
If I hadn’t let go of the reins of my mind, if I hadn’t believed the stupid imaginations of my mind, then the fork in my hand wouldn’t have clanged against the plate, wouldn’t have drafted the attention of my family members to me; and my mother wouldn’t have tried explaining the fault with her food; and Lilian wouldn’t have made the sinister statement.
“Okay then, I see. ” My mother muttered, bringing my attention back to the present. Whatever happened in the dining room was past. No need to dwell in the what ifs anymore.
“So, mother.. how did the meeting go? What did the king say? What did Lilian mean by ‘I will be leaving soon?'” I questioned, noting that she stopped rocking me immediately.
I knew that the subject was a sore one-seeing her reaction in the dining room and just at this moment-but I needed to know. She needed to talk to me about it. I couldn’t be kept in the dark about this.
“Mum.. I know that this is the last thing you want to talk about right now…but you have to tell me sometime right? So, why not tell me now?” I pushed, hugging her tighter, just to reassure her that everything would be okay.
She sniffed then, and peered into thin air. I knew she was gathering her thoughts.
“The king and the council decided to let you go. You will be leaving the pack by next week to the city of humans. The king has some human friends whom he would contact and entrust your upkeep and safety to. They will make sure you complete your school year there and college education. You are allowed to visit the pack if you want. But you wouldn’t necessarily live here since you are wolfless. There was no need to be in the pack or in the colonies. You are more human than us. That way, you wouldn’t be bullied again by higher beings.” She said blankly without mincing words.
It was like mother just switched off her feelings and spurted the statement out. But when she was done, she started to tear up.
“Mom, it is okay. Personally, I think it is for the best. I don’t fit in here, never will; I am wolfless. I would never be useful either.. it’s better I leave. At least that way, I can find something interesting to do with my life, something that I love, and probably something that could impact the human world positively since I am useless here. And as the king said, I can visit anytime I want. So, cheer up mom. It’s not the end of the world. I know that you will miss me so much, and I will miss you too. But you should be happy for me. I would never be bullied again. That’s the best thing right?” I stated, rocking her softly.
She said nothing in response.
Rather, we stayed like that for a while, rocking each other, until a few minutes later when she mentioned that we go inside. Outside was getting chiller by the passing moment.
When we stood up from the stairs, she hugged me again.
“You know you are right. This probably is for the best. But I will miss you so much, and will visit you too whenever I have the chance. That said, we will be going shopping by tomorrow. There is no need to be in school tomorrow, is there? Since you will be leaving for the city by next week.”
“True. But not tomorrow. I want to see Noami.” I replied, feeling sad suddenly when I remembered I will be leaving my best friend. She was not going to like this piece of information.