She walks forward holding out a piece of paper to me. I take it – a wrinkled-up sonar photo.
“She’s the bravest girl I know. She never stopped fighting, for me, Luke, the baby, Jackson, and even her father. You better not let her down.” She hugs me and then leaves me alone. I stare at the black and white photo and so many feelings rush through me, feelings I never experienced before. I’m going to be a dad, me … Damion Grimm is gonna be someone’s father.
Hell, I haven’t even figured out this boyfriend shit, now I’m in this situation. I don’t know if I can do this. What if I screw up that kid’s life forever and he turns out to be just like me – broken?
I lean against the wall with my back and slowly slide down to sit on the cold floor, my head on my knees. Thoughts rush through my mind but I’m not thinking about anything, as if my mind is a black hole. I hear footsteps but I don’t want to look up. I don’t have the energy to face anybody right now.
I hear some whispers and footsteps moving away. A person slides down to sit on the floor next to me and then I hear my dad’s voice.
“Alejandro and Luke are both fine. And Harry and his kids died in a car accident. It’s over.” I swallow. Thank heaven for that.
“They found Jackson at the accident site, but he’s not talking. Physically he’s going to be fine … the bullet went straight through without damaging any organs.” Jackson got shot? The blood on his hands … fuck … he took the bullet meant for me.
“But I think it will take some time for his mind to get fixed.” I look up into my father’s ice-blue eyes. Jackson’s mind … I don’t think that’s something that’s ever been fixed, nor will it ever be. Talk about broken.
“Son, I know these past couple of weeks have been overwhelming, to say the least, but right now you have to focus on what truly matters and let the rest slide by. It’s not going to be easy …” I stare at him like a rabbit caught in a spotlight.
“But difficult roads lead to beautiful destinations. And every stone on that road is there for a reason. Things will work out for the best, just give it time.” He bumps me with his shoulder.
“I can’t understand how you can knock-up a girl and not know about it,” he throws my own words back at me – his icy eyes teasing. I snort and roll my eyes. Bastard.
“At least you found out before the little thing popped out.” At least.
“You know you’re not in this alone, you have lots of people out there who love you both.” I sigh. I know.
I love the idea of having a baby with Mel, but I didn’t plan on it happening so soon. She’s still so young, she hasn’t finished her studies. And she’s still in a coma. What if she never wakes up again? What if I fuck up? I don’t deserve to be a dad. What if Mel leaves me? Dad notices that I’m still struggling and I tell him about my fears.
“The way I see it, son, is that if you want the rainbow you gotta put up with the rain. Right now a thunderstorm is passing over you … but that’s just it … storms pass. Don’t worry about the timing or her family. Yes, she’s young … so are you.”
“But you’re both in a very fortunate position – you have enough money, you have lots of support, and most importantly, you love each other.”
“What matters now is that when, and I say again, WHEN Mel wakes up, you’re there for her and your baby. Stuff all the rest, they will fall into place when they’re good and ready.”
“And I’m very excited to be a granddad.” He gets up. “Now I need to get my other babies some food before they starve.” And I know Luke has some questions about Garcia. Yep, the little guy needs my Dad right now more than me.
“Tell my brothers they are going to be uncles so they better get their heads out of their asses!”
“They know … and they’re both over the moon.” Dad smiles lovingly at me and I know that it means the world to him that Alejandro and I are getting along.
“Jackson … tell him to please wait until Mel gets out of here before he kills me.”
“Oh, he won’t. Alejandro already gave him a talking to.” My heart hops and some stupid lump constricts my throat. Like Logan … I now too have an older brother to have my back. It feels so darn good.
I sit there until my legs ache and my butt feels numb, but I don’t move … until I hear noises in the room. I lift my head. They’re pushing Mel’s bed back in place.
“Damion!” Ilkay holds out his hand to pull me up. I take it and pain shoots through my stiff bruised body. It hurts just about everywhere.
“Alejandro told me what happened with Darren. Thanks for protecting my sister.” He stares at me with a strict face.
“Don’t get me wrong … I feel like strangling you for knocking her up … but I know you love her, and I can understand that.” I give him a faint smile, knowing that he’s talking about the runaway he lost his heart to. I don’t know how I shall feel if Mel upt and left. I just know it will fucking hurt like shit.
I watch him hoping that he will tell me how Mel is doing.
“She’s going to be okay, her skull has a hairline fracture, but there’s no bleeding on the brain, just a little swelling. It should subside on its own soon and then all she needs to do is wake up and rest. They will keep an eye on both of them.” He puts a hand on my shoulder to reassure me. I nod, not having the energy to even open my mouth, and then I fall into the chair next to her bed and take her hand in mine.
Date = 23 January
Place = San Francisco (UCSF Mission Bay Medical)
POV Melaena
Like a black-and-white movie in color, I see Kiara smile at me, holding a picture in her hands. I don’t want to look at it, but I can’t seem to look away. Her mouth moves but no words come out. A blob on the gray picture starts beating in rhythm with the noise in my ears. A heartbeat. A baby. My baby. Damion’s baby.
Beep! Beep! Beep!
I open my eyes. A green light blinks … on; off; on; off.
It’s bothersome. A turn signal. The car rolls, tumbles, crashes … the indicator light flashes alone in the darkness. The air is voided with sound. I scream for help but it’s only in my head, no sound escapes. Through the shattered window I see a man standing in the shadows, like a ghost, watching … his face locked in terror, his gray eyes filled with guilt. It’s dad.
Beep! Beep!
Something drips on the bonnet of the car like single drops of rain. Blood. My father is standing next to the wreckage, his face full of pain, his lips saying ‘sorry’ over and over without actually making any sound. He is missing a finger, drops of blood falling in slow motion; beeping each time it hits the metal and then dissipates … beep, beep, beep!
He lifts his hand, but the darkness overwhelms him. A small blond boy runs from the blackness; looking back as if something is chasing him. The boy stops and turns around. He’s hidden in the dark and I can’t see his face but he holds out a gun. He shoots and a herd of horses runs towards me. A thin rod sweeps through the air and bludgeons down, each time creating a sinister high-pitched tone.
Beep! One. Beep! Two … twenty times. The boy’s hands are covered in blood, but he doesn’t make a sound.
The boy’s cold blue eyes pierce through me. He looks angry.
I need to get out, but my body is frozen, stiff. Pain shoots into my head as my thoughts come together. Darren … Lucinda … Harry … run toward me, the hate in their eyes clearly visible. They turn into clowns.
Beep! My body goes cold. Beep! I can’t move. Beep! Can’t breathe. Beep! Beep!
Disorganized memories evaporate through my aching head … the threesome’s footsteps get louder.
Beep-beep-beep-beep.
Payback. Beep! Revenge. Beep! Death. Beep!