His admission shocks the hell out of me. I leave one hand on my tummy and put the other on his knee. “That’s okay. I’m scared too.”
“And it’s not that I don’t want to share everything with you, but some broken pieces are buried so deep, I’m not sure it’s possible to even dig them up.” The fact that he’s trying so hard … for me … fills my heart until it overflows.
“What do you want to know?” He’s tense.
“Whatever you’re ready to share,” I throw the ball in his court. “Maybe tell me about the boy … or the accident last year in Spain.” He’s silent for a bit.
“I was in fourth position, lap two, tailing Graham, with Zaine tight on my tail. We were a few meters behind his teammate Romeo and the Ducati rider. I outbreak Graham, and passed him.” He stops for a moment as if to find the best words. I let him.
“At the next corner, I was right on Romeo’s tail, ready to slip past on the outside. For some reason, Romeo sped into the turn and lost control. His back tire kept spinning and regained traction and he suddenly veered into my path … hanging down on the right side of his bike.” He is still for another moment. “It happened so fast … a millisecond …”
“I slammed into his body … full speed and got catapulted over the front of my bike.” I hear him swallow.
“Graham and Zaine were so close behind me … they also drove into Romeo, and landed on the gravel.”
“The accident was immediately red-flagged.”
“Romeo sustained serious trauma to the head, neck, and chest and they performed CPR for thirty minutes, but he died on the track. I broke my collarbone. Graham and Zaine were not seriously hurt.”
“Why does Graham blame you?” He takes a deep breath and lets it out as a sigh.
“He thinks that because I braked too late, Romeo was forced to speed into the corner.” I’m not a bike expert.
“Why did you brake late?” I try to understand.
“It’s my thing … but it’s risky and no one else gets it right.” My heart skips a beat. Why can’t he be a doctor … or a lawyer … or even play football like Logan? Racing is dangerous. I don’t want to lose him.
“Do you think you forced him?” He sighs.
“I just know he didn’t even try to brake. But I didn’t force him.” We sit in silence for a while.
“As for the boy … he ran onto the tracks just as I landed a jump over some whoops. I tried to avoid him, and I did … but my bike shattered and a piece of debris almost decapitated him. He died on impact.” I gasp. That is horrible.
“I was in a very dark place. It was the day before I took you to the boardwalk … remember?”
“Mm,” I remember he had bruises and cuts on his body. He told me he fell, but nothing about the boy.
“You pulled me out of my shit-hole of a mind.” We sit like that for a while, not moving, not talking, each one in his own bubble of thoughts. I don’t know if I should say something … or just let him be for now. But an idea pops into my mind and I turn around to face him in the huge whirlpool tub.
Distraction. Sex. He used women to keep his demons under control. Although, I’m not at all open to sharing him … I’m very open to having him use me. Or me him.
My mouth presses against his, and moves over his jaw and down his neck, licking a trail down his chest and stomach. He swallows hard.
I take his cock in my hand and pump slowly. He’s already stiff as a steel pole.
I swirl my tongue around his head as if I’m licking a lollipop and increase the suction at his tip.
“Holy cow, Mel …” His dark eyes watch from above.
I wet my lips, open my mouth, and slide him in. As deep as I can.
“Fuck…” My hand pumps while he slips to the back of my throat. I suck as I pull back slowly.
Then I do it again.
He moans helplessly and grips onto the sides of the tub.
I take him all the way down again. And again while doing short pumps with my hand.
I’m clueless really, but the way he moans and breaths make me feel like a frickin porn star.
His hips rock up, back and forth, pushing in and out of my mouth.
“Mel … Mel … fucking hell … I’m gonna … Mel … shit Mel … I’m …” He jabs his hips, short fast shoves. I’ve never had anyone cum in my mouth before. I want this for him. I’ve fantasized about giving him pleasure.
Those green eyes go dark, pupils enlarged. He throws back his head.
“Mel!” he whimpers. “Fuck!”
His body contracts and he fills my mouth with a convulsing stream that I swallow eagerly. I let him slip out and watch him grin at me like the idiot he can be.
I smile back. He’s my idiot.
Breathing hard he pulls me up and kisses me, licking his taste from my mouth.
“You’re fucking something else, you know that?” He’s still out of breath.
“Thought you would appreciate a little distraction.”
“Little?” He gets this astounded look on his face. I giggle.
“Is that the wrong adjective?”
“Definitely. That was anything but a little distraction,” he smirks. I place a kiss on his nose and step out of the bath. At this rate we will be late for his … eh … thingy.
“We have to get ready …” I wrap a towel around my body. “But what are we getting ready for again?”
“It’s an interview race.” I shrug my shoulders to say that I don’t have a clue what that means.