I saw her shocked eyes watching my phone. I’ve seen her fall down on her knees. I’ve seen the pain crashing through her. I’ve seen the look on her face.
Like I slapped her across the cheek. Hard.
It only lasted a few seconds. Her whole face just went white … and blank. I guess it was shock – like she could not believe what just happened actually happened.
I’ve made the mess. I chose to believe Chloe. A lying crazy bitch.
I can admit I’m rather self-centered … maybe even slightly spoiled … but holy fuck I never realized I was that stupid.
Like a frozen zombie, she stands there, huge eyes looking right at me … or more precisely … my junk. I notice the enlarged pupils and how she lustfully licks her lips. Shit. The little minx is horny.
Horny I can work with.
“I like where your head is at, but we need to talk first.” She gets up and crosses her arms but I’ve already seen the hard nobs of her frisky nipples all puckered up and ready to be taken. But that will have to wait. I need to get my head out of my pants first. Let’s start with an apology.
“I’m sorry,” my voice is quiet. With remorse. “I know you’re mad but I can explain -” She steps into me, pain and anger etched on her face. Her lips are just inches away and if I lean forward I can kiss her, but I’m a bit concerned that she actually might bite me right now.
“Really,” she seethes. “How do you explain being naked in bed with another woman?” Her voice is husky with bottled-up rage. “I can accept your demons and your baggage … hell I can even tolerate your stupidity,” she sobs in some air, “But fucking someone else is unacceptable to me. I won’t tolerate that.” I grab her arms.
“Don’t touch me!” she yells and yanks herself from my grip. “Don’t fucking touch me!” I watch her chest heave and clench my teeth. I need her. I lick my lips and inch forward to be closer to her. Our bodies touch, but I keep my hands to my sides.
“Damn, I missed you!” I feel her body tense and she tilts her head back to face me.
“Seriously Damion, you MISSED me? Or maybe my vagina?” She’s totally upset. “Oh wait, you already found a new one!” I’m going to ignore that last statement for now.
“Mel,” her name is a plea on my lips. Our eyes lock and my mind whirls with so many things I want to say. But my throat constricts and my tongue gets stuck. Her eyes say so much to me, asking so much of me, but I’m unable to respond.
“Please … don’t,” she pushes against me to try and shove me away, but I grab her wrists and hold them against my chest. The jolt of electricity between us shock my cock straight up, proud and hard and so fucking ready.
“No,” I say to myself and my dick’s hopeful preparation of getting lucky. “Listen,” I grate, “You’re pushing my diligence here. I have half a mind to throw you onto the table and fuck you until you listen to me. Keep interrupting me and I will.” She gasps.
There’s a fine line between saying too much and saying too little. Right now I’m walking that line like a three-legged donkey on locoweed.
“Let go!” I don’t. I don’t want to break the connection.
“Damn, woman, you are driving me fucking insane,” I mutter into the air.
“Well, just admit it … you were drunk, she was there and …” she stops and swallows as if it’s difficult for her to say the words, “… and things happened.”
“N. o. t. h. i. n. g! F. u. c. k. i. n. g! H. a. p. p. e. n. e. d!” I spit out. “I was drunk. She’s crazy. End of story.” This girl is infuriating.
“I didn’t sleep with her, Mel,” I bark out. “And if you would just listen to me I will tell you what happened.” She looks at me with those see-all blue eyes, and I can only think of the fact that I need to kiss her. Maybe my lips can tell her better than all my stumbling words. So I do the simplest thing in the world. I lean over and let my lips claim her. It feels like home.
My mouth fervently possesses hers. One hand wraps around the golden waterfall of curls down her back, pressing her body into mine. A low groan emanates from the back of her throat.
“No!” It’s a soft, choked rejection, but a rejection nonetheless. She tears her mouth from mine. “I will listen. But I can’t promise I will forgive you.” I lean back against the bottom cupboards.
She fiddles tensely with her hands, waiting for me to say what I need to say. This is make or break. I juggle my mind to come up with the right words. I’ve never had to explain anything to anyone before – I need to get it right.
“Why was she there?” she stares unflinchingly into my eyes as if she doesn’t really want to know the answer. “You promised that your whoring ways were over.”
“I know.” And I kept that promise.
“Maybe it’s better to start at the beginning. To explain why I was whoring in the first place.” She stares silently at me, a vein throbbing right next to the sexy little dent in her throat.
“Mel, I told you that sex and racing was how I used to deal with my demons. I used women to cover up the darkness. I lost myself in them to block everything out.” I hang my head for a second in shame. I don’t want to look at her. “I’m not proud of it.”
“Used to?” she prods, “Listen, I can handle any sexual cover-up you had … BEFORE I became your girlfriend. But not after.” Hurt and bewilderment are etched on her face.
“I’ve changed.” I had an eye-opener. “Call it a wake-up call.”
“In Rome?”
“No -” fuck Rome, “After the accident -”
“Last year’s pile-up?” she interrupts.
“Yeah,” I smirk. “I was lying in hospital with a broken collar bone and some burns.” She nods, but is still morbid.
“The point is that there was this girl … around sixteen or so.” I get a lump in my throat thinking about the whole ordeal, but I struggle on. “Stage 4 cancer, close to the end.” I swallow and continue. “Her brother was there with her.” I stop to subdue my raging emotions.
“Eh … and,” I can see she’s actually touched and intrigued.
“And I overheard what she said to him.” And it touched my soul. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop but there was only a thin separation between them and where I was.
Mel watches me with a captivating face. So far so good I guess.
“She told her crying brother that she’s not scared of dying.” My sister said the same thing.
But it was the dying girl’s next words that got me right in the heart and threw my whole existence upside down. Even my demons went tumbling.
“She wanted him to always be happy, especially when he thinks of her. To remember all the good times they had together. That she will be looking fondly from above and that she will smile each time he experiences a wonderful moment as if she was there with him. She also wanted him to find true love … someone special … that would share his pillow and listen to all his stories.” I tear up like I did that day. Mel’s eyes are wet and shiny.
“I thought of my sister and it hit me … I am not living the happy fulfilling life she would want for me.” I wipe a hand over my eyes. “I decided to change – and I did.” I look up into her eyes.
“You may not believe me, but I haven’t had sex with any other girl than you since then.” I hope she believes me.
“What’s more … I want only you to share my pillow, and after having my way with you each night, you’ll lie there with me and we’ll tell each other all the things no one else wants to hear.”