Don’t Cry For Me

(NFTMB)Chapter 93
Alessandro
(Don’t Cry For Me)
I caused that.
It’s all my fault. I did that.
Time and time again I still do the dumbest things all thanks to Sebastian’s advice.
He was the one who had informed me that Victoria’s now dead friend was secretly in love with her and that got me mad so I retaliated by getting him fired from work.
And ultimately caused his death.
It’s not like I care that he is dead. No. I only care about the fact that it’s upsetting Victoria and that might not be good for the baby.
Besides, it’s not like the boy was even a hindrance on my path of getting Victoria. He was practically like thin air.
Not existing and not a problem but now following Sebastian’s advice and counsel. I caused his death.
He was gone now.
And for that Sebastian needed to die as well.
That is justice.
Well, it’s sad the boy is gone but that’s just how life is and it continually goes on.
“What’s been bothering you? You’re in your head a little too much and you’ve been awfully quiet and strange”.
She was tense. She was treading cautiously.
Almost like she was scared of asking the question to avoid incurring my wrath.
I’m being nice and trying to be normal with her at least for this night while I wallow in my problems and lackings.
“Do you really wanna know?”. I asked her as she tensed up before nodding.
“Yes.”
“I killed someone. Today”
“Who was it?”. She slowly asked.
“My mistress. Ex mistress. Dead Mistress. Spy. Betrayer. All of the above”
I cuddled deeper, watching her blue eyes sparkle in the night light as my hand gently caressed her tummy.
It was big.
I was almost completely blown away by how she had gradually changed over the last couple of months.
It is incredible.
If only I get to feel a kick.
“What happened between you and your mistress?”.
“I wanted to get back at who attacked you and my baby and who I fought with at the charity gala.”
“Ohh. Thanks, I guess”. She said nervously.
“It’s my duty”
“So, who is this mistress? Do I know her?”
She was sad. I could sense it in her voice. It still hurt her that I was still being with other women.
“You don’t know her. You both never met each other”
“Ohh. I see”
“Victoria, if it makes you feel better, I have never been with another woman since we got married.”
Her face fell as she looked at me with shock written all over her face.
“Really?”
“Yes. At least for now”
“Ohh. So was she the one you were looking for?”
Did she just try to swiftly change the topic? Was she hiding anything from me?
“No she wasn’t. But it was then that I found out that she was a spy.”
“For the police?”
“No. I don’t think so. She came to get revenge on me for the death of her brother and his son’s disappearance”
“What happened to the boy?”. She asked already with dread evident in her tone.
I’m sure it’s worse than what you’re thinking, Victoria.
“I sent him off to the Spanish mafia as a slave.”
I could sense her shock but she tried hard to keep it under wraps so I wouldn’t notice.
I would have said that things don’t get past me but lately Sebastian and his friends have shown me that a lot can actually happen without me knowing about it. Just right under my nose.
A lot can actually get past me.
Robyn and Sebastian have proved that to me.
They taught me the bitter lesson. Or rather the bitter truth.
“How old was he?”. She gently asked
“Matteo. Matteo’s age”
“She gasped before trying to scoot away from me.
“Please, stay. Don’t turn away from me. At least not tonight”
She paused and looked at me with horror in her eyes before going back to her normal position but now it looked stiff.
“He’s basically still a baby, Alessandro. What if this was Matteo in his shoes?”
“As long as I’m his father that will never happen. He will be safe as long as I’m near”
“You shouldn’t have done that”
“Believe me I know. Mother and Bianca had the same reaction you had just now”
“That was wrong. No wonder she came for revenge”
“Mmm, and then I killed her as well. What’s the point?”
“What did he do to you?”. She sadly said before gently caressing my cheek.
“My Father? Life. Adulthood. The Cosa Nostra. It fucks you up. It fucked me up”
“The Mafia?”
I had forgotten that she didn’t know what it meant.
“Yes. That’s what it means”
“But why did you kill her brother?”
“”It wasn’t just him that I killed. Even his girlfriend. I killed them because Sebastian led me on a false tip that he was the mole in our camp. Seeing as he had a child with the princess of the Russian mafia, I believed him.
It doesn’t get that difficult to believe when you hear something like that. That is a betrayal where I came from.
So in retaliation and as a warning I killed him and the girl and then sent the baby off to a place I knew he would be in deep trouble if they found out exactly who he was.
“Why?”. She said in tears.
Absent-mindedly, my hands reached out and wiped the tears from her eyes.
“Don’t cry for me. I hate it”.
She slowly nodded and then wiped her face.
“Good”.
“The place I sent him to might take him in as a child but once he starts to grow and they go to look around and dig deep for information involving his family or where he came from then that’s when they’ll find out that he is from the Russian mafia.”
“They’re not friends?”
I chuckled at her innocent question as she blinked in confusion.
“You amaze me sometimes. Friends? Mafias don’t make friends with each other. If for anything they always wage wars and launch attacks on each other all the time just to see who is the greatest and the strongest. It’s like a power tussle and it will never let them ever get along with each other”
“When you say it like that then it makes them look stupid in my eyes. A bunch of men fighting for what? A title? Seems a little dumb to me”
“It isn’t. It’s just the way they’re brought up. That’s what we’re thought to breathe and understand, war. It is like their driving force and their best friend. They can’t do without it. Besides, what’s the point, a mafia group that doesn’t fight and launch attacks? That’s actually the dumb thing”
“This should be stopped. Who raises these people? Who taught them this things as children? To be this cruel? No. It’s wrong”. She protests.
“You’re only thinking like a mother”
“You can’t exactly blame me. So Matteo is going to continue this? He’s going to take over from you?”
“Yes. He’s my firstborn child and my first born son”.
“Oh my God. It involves difficult training right?”
“Yes. Extremely difficult training sessions”
“What are they like? What are you all trained for?”
“Are you sure you want to know, princess?”. I teased her.
Tease? Since when do I tease her? Or do I tease people?
“I’m no princess and yes I want to know”. She said with determination in her voice.
“Combat. Combat training.
That’s the first thing. It’s never easy or gentle. You’re thrown into the middle head first. Nobody actually treats you like the kid you are in there. It’s almost like you’re their equal when you’re not.
When I was a young teenager, actually since I was twelve, I was made to fight with the bigger guys. Guys that looked like bouncers. They never smiled and they would beat me up like an adult and my father would stand there and watch them do it.”
“That is sick”
“He never said or did anything to reduce my beatings or tell them to be less dangerous considering that I was just a child. He let me take it all. When I turned thirteen he started making the fights one to the death. That way only one person was getting out alive from the training ground. That’s how I got my first kill”
“At the age of thirteen?”. She asked in horror.
“Yes. I won. I killed him to save my own life. To save my skin. To make sure that I would live to see another day. He had to die. Father was very proud of me. He boasted about that for a long time till I turned fifteen.”
“He was proud of you because you took someone’s life?”. She asked in shock.
“That’s how things are around here. That’s the way we are. But my fifteenth was the absolute worst”
“What happened?”
“He made me kill again. It was my birthday and he had filled my head with the exciting information that he was going to give me a present for my birthday, so as the child I was. I was ecstatic. I was very excited that days leading up to that day, I couldn’t sleep due to excitement. It kept me up.”
“What was the gift?”. She asked in fear.
“A woman”
“Ohhh. That”. She said before pursing her lips.
“Yes, that. He had made me think that maybe it would be anything good on earth that other parents give their kids but his was a naked woman for his fifteen year old son. It was the very worst gift I have ever received and ultimately the reason why I stopped celebrating my birthday and getting gifts from people. That day made me hate gifts. It’ll always remind me of that day. It haunts me. And also it scares me. That’s a secret”
“My lips are sealed. What did he make you do to her? Kill and dismember her?”
“You’ve got a crazy imagination, Victoria. I have never dismembered anyone.”
“Ohh, my bad. What did you do to her?”
“I had sex with her”
“What? And he told you to do that?”
“Yes. And he also stood there watching”
“That’s disgusting. He is the devil himself”
I laughed at her reaction. What if you had met him alive then? What would you have said?
“He is. That was what he was known as. When I say have sex I make it seem like a normal thing. Like she wasn’t tied up and shaking and crying”
“Oh.”
“Mhmm, oh. The bastard was there all through and then he told me to kill her afterwards”
“What?! No!”
“I did it.”
“No. Why?”
“Believe me when I say that I didn’t want to do it initially but he forced me. He made me kill her by threatening Valentino. He knew where to hit.”
“Valentino? How?”
“He was kind of my favorite growing up but don’t tell him I said that. Niccolo will flip.
“I won’t”. She said while laughing.
“The younger Valentino was experiencing the life I never had. He was carefree and happy. He would run around everyday with his camera when he was smaller and then subsequently when he got older it was now with his girlfriend, Laura”
“His girlfriend?”
“Yes. I had to kill the girl as father instructed else he was going to make sweet little Valentino turn bad. He would turn my baby brother into a heartless killer. I couldn’t just stand by and watch that happen. I killed her to protect him”.
“It was all because of Valentino?”
“That’s correct”
“What happened to the girlfriend you mentioned? Laura, right? What became of them? Why did they break up?”
“Yes, Laura. They attended the same school and that’s how they met and started dating when he was sixteen. She died by falling off a cliff. She wasn’t being careful. After that Valentino left for Paris and has been like that ever since ”
“I never knew. Jasmine lied that he sacrificed his girlfriend”
“Sacrificed? Did you really say sacrificed? Damn, I wish I could shoot her again. There was no sacrifice. Valentino is a Christian and she fell off a cliff on an adventurous trip with her friends and died. He wasn’t even with her when it happened”
“She also said you guys worship the devil and make sacrifices to him. He said you’re the devil’s favorite. That he lives inside you”.
And that got me.
I laughed. I laughed so hard that I knew I might wake some people up from their sleep.
Victoria laughed as well.
This is fucking funny. Good job, Nic you brought home a fellow lunatic.
“Why can’t you be like this forever?”
I stared into her blue eyes and I noticed she was sad.
She was expecting someone that I wasn’t.
“How am I?”
“Nice, free and normal”
“I wasn’t taught how to stay nice”
Her face fell at my words.
I felt it now.
“Did you feel that?”. She asked with a smile on her sad face.
“I did”
I am happy and content now.
I felt my baby kick.