(NFTMB)Chapter 59
Victoria
(A Mother And Her Baby)
“No, stop that!”. I laughed as I playfully shoved Leonard who was staring at me continuously with his chin in his hands.
“I can stare at your beautiful face all day without food and be satisfied”. He said but still never took his eyes off of me.
This is making me very very shy. I can’t even concentrate on my food.
“Thanks for the compliment, Leonard but stop staring now. You’re making me feel embarrassed”. I said while trying to hide my blush.
“I don’t care. We humans are meant to stop and stare whenever we see something beautiful. It’s human nature and right now I’m just doing what’s in my DNA”
“Alright, that’s enough. I’ve heard you now, Leonard please stop it”
“No”
“Stop it or else I’m leaving”.
“And going back to your baby’s father? You know he’s no fun”.
One way to spoil my mood is to bring up Alessandro and that’s just what happened now.
My mood went down like a hundred and eighty degrees.
He noticed my mood and knew he had said the wrong thing.
“Shit, I’m sorry. That came out wrong. I shouldn’t have said that. It was totally uncalled for and it came out wrong”.
“No, it’s fine. Don’t apologize. Besides, what’s the lie there? You just spoke the truth, Leonard”
“Still, it wasn’t in my place to say it that way and for that I apologize”
“Apology accepted, now let’s forget that”
“You’re such a sweetheart”
“Don’t compliment me too much, Leonard”
“Alright, fine”. He looks at his wrist watch before slowly running his hands through his perfectly slicked back hair before speaking. “It’s getting late, Victoria and we’ve been waiting for sometime. Aren’t your friends coming anymore?”
That’s true. I had called my only friends in the world, Grace and Simon to meet with me together so I could see them even though it will be for a short time but as it seems they don’t plan on showing up even though I texted them earlier on once Alessandro agreed to my request.
“Ohh that, yes uhmm maybe they’re busy. You know it’s a weekday and they might be caught up in work related matters, you can never tell”
I tried to look down to hide the look of disappointment on my face. The only time I was free to see them and be with them but they stood me up.
“It’s alright to acknowledge that they bailed on you. I perfectly understand you.
When I was younger, I used to delude myself with the fantasy that the popular and rich kids were my equals, my friends and even to some extent my family meanwhile they never even recognized my existence.
I wasn’t alive in their own part of the story.
it took a very heavy wake up call to remind me in the cruelest of ways that there would never be anything that could make me become their equal except death”. Leonard said with hardened eyes and a faraway look on his face.
“Death? That’s a little dark”
He grabbed my hand that was placed on the table before linking it together with his.
“It’s dark because my life story isn’t one that is filled with sunshine, unicorns and rainbows.
No, I grew up tough and was forced to learn how to fend for myself and defend myself from a very early stage in my life. I was taught to know that I only needed me to survive and no other person. Just me”
All the while he was speaking he never let his gaze drop from my eyes.
His eyes remained fixed on mine as I stared right back into his bottomless pit of unanswered questions and obvious childhood trauma.
I wondered what was lying beneath his fancy suits and slicked back hairdo.
The story of Leonard’s childhood seemed to be painful and filled with bad stuff even though I knew I had barely scratched the surface of what his life was like before he obviously made it big.
“Look at me, Victoria”. He said before reconnecting my eyes to his. “You only need yourself and the willpower to survive alone with your child and raise your child up to be the good person you are alone. You don’t need him, Victoria. You can do this alone”.
“I can do this alone?”. I repeated like I was hypnotized.
“Yes. You only need yourself. You only need to be brave for your child for you to survive. You don’t need anyone else, least of all him”
I don’t need Alessandro? Is that true? Can I really run away from him and raise my little bunny all by myself?
It sounded very good to me. I don’t want to live the rest of my life as Alessandro’s woman. He might suddenly wake up one day and decide to kill me.
He isn’t human and my life is worth a lot of things to me and nothing to him and I don’t want to lose it.
Besides, what assurance do I have that when I give birth and he finds another girl, maybe someone younger than me to sleep with, how can I be sure that he wouldn’t get rid of me immediately.
Once I give birth, I lose every defense shield I had against his attacks. He wouldn’t care or mind that I am no more considering he has enough money that he can employ someone to look after my child when I’m gone.
A part of me still flutters with the hope that Alessandro might still change after I give birth. Maybe the sight of our baby might soften his mind about me.
Yeah, right. As if Matteo wasn’t born already when he shot Roberta dead. My inner thoughts made a mockery of me, clearly showing me that they were in much more capable condition of controlling their thoughts, actions and emotions than me as a person.
“You know, Victoria, a wise man once said never to overthink some things. It’s always best to jump in first hand. Delay even in the smallest of thoughts can be dangerous”
He was right.
But then again, should I really listen to Leonard one more time?
The first time he advised me on what to do, it backfired dangerously on me. I even shudder till this day when I think about it.
He had advised me to report Alessandro to the police and get him arrested for molestation, assault and every bad thing he had ever done to me only for the police officer and the entire police force to turn on me and make me almost lose my child.
I can’t afford any other slip ups with Alessandro especially when he has made it crystal clear how easily he can have me and little bunny replaced.
I don’t want to lose my baby and I don’t also want to risk my life and that of my friends’ on a very futile journey.
Nobody could go against Alessandro. I know that now.
I had no chance whatsoever of surviving in a battle with Alessandro, that would practically be suicide.
Physically, he is huge and twice my size. I can’t even dream of challenging Alessandro to a duel.
He will crush me.
Financially wise I am a church rat that he has taken interest in and hasn’t gotten over yet. The Little I have is all from him and all thanks to him
I had nothing of my own. Everything I owned down to the dress on my body was all courtesy of Alessandro.
I might be freaked out by his touch but I can’t deny that one thing Alessandro does best is to adorn my body with jewels and fill my life with gifts.
Any other woman would be swept off of her feet by his charming gifts but not me.
He buys me everything I don’t ask for and whatever he lays his eyes on.
He also does not hesitate to appreciate me for a humiliating job well done like with the million dollar necklace.
He wouldn’t think twice about giving my little bunny the very best that life has to offer.
I am getting used to thinking not only for myself but also for the little human I currently house inside me.
I need to always consider the well-being and future of my child.
I can’t afford to be reckless and doom my child to an unhappy childhood or give him or her a wretched childhood while his or her father literally controls money.
True, I might be miserable with Alessandro but I’ll still have to endure and keep up with all the mistreatment he dishes out to me because I want my child to have a good life.
I don’t want my baby to suffer the hardships I suffered growing up.
I wouldn’t want my child to go through the misery I had to endure growing up in a family where my mother did the barest minimum.
I want my little bunny to grow up with his brother. Matteo.
I wouldn’t want to separate my baby from the good and stable life it has in front of it and that’s why I have to take a stand and keep my mind focused.
I can’t leave Alessandro or do anything to go against him. Ever again.
My child needs his father who will shower him with love.
I’ve seen the way he cares for Matteo even though he is a bad man. He loves his son so much and I’m sure he will love the child I will bear him just as much.
I’ll stay with him. That’s final.
“I’m not leaving him”. I said
“What? Victoria, are you out of your mind?”
“No. On the contrary, I’m thinking quite right. My head is screwed on tight”
“No, clearly you’re not okay. This man has gotten into your head so bad that no matter the gravity of error he does to you, you will always come crawling right back to him”
“That’s where you’re wrong, Leonard, I am not thinking for myself now”
“That’s the problem right there. You’re not thinking about what you ought to be thinking about, which is you and you alone. You’re the main character in this. You’re the victim here, Victoria”
“I’m thinking for my child, Leonard. I am pregnant. I am a mother and now my utmost concern and priority is my child. I will not throw away my child’s chance at a normal and stable family life because of anything”
“Your child? The same child of the man who mistreats you? Come on, girl! Wake up!”
“I have made my decision, Leonard and I beg you to respect it”
“Wow. I can’t believe you would do this”. He said with laughter on his lips and a look of surprise on his face.
“If there’s nothing else left to say then I would like to go home now. It’s getting late anyways, please drop me where you picked me from”
That is the end of this conversation. I don’t want to hear anymore of it.
Somewhere inside, a part of me quietly asked me a question, “What about Valentino?”