NFTMB)Chapter 17
Victoria.
(Pregnant Victoria)
“It can’t be”, “it can’t be”, “it can’t be”. I chanted desperately as I paced around my room.
The pregnancy test in my hand showed two red lines. I was pregnant. That can’t be. I saw my period after that day.
Simon and Grace just looked at me. There was an awkward silence. They were speechless.
I was having a pregnancy scare now. I slowly started putting things and changes in myself together. I think I’m pregnant.
I would never say it out loud nor did I believe it for now.
Mr Rossi didn’t use protection that night. I was too lost in the euphoria and the passion to actually remind him. I am ruined now.
What am I going to do now? What would Flynn do? How would he react?.
My mind was all over the place. All I knew was that this was bad. Very bad.
I facepalmed yet again for the umpteenth time. I was finished.
“You’re making me dizzy with all the pacing Victoria”. Grace chimed in from her position on my bed.
It was surprising that she was this calm about the whole thing. She was usually the worry what.
Well she had tried to warn me after I quit my job but I didn’t listen. Grace was always right.
My mind had thought a million silly thoughts since I started suspecting this. Thank God I immediately fled Mr Rossi’s office after I threw up there else, he would have threatened the truth out of me.
Come to think of it, what if he did this intentionally, that sounded plausible.
He also might have requested the coffee to see my reaction to it. He must have known that I was pregnant.
No no no, not that word now. I wasn’t pregnant. Maybe this was all a mistake, an unusual misunderstanding. It happens right? Yeah it does.
“Why don’t you take a pregnancy test?”. Simon suggested.
“What?”.
“Yeah, at least you’ll be sure of something at least. Guessing and guessing will get us nowhere. We’re just wasting time and energy”. He said
“I think Simon’s right”. Grace sided with Simon.
“What if it’s positive?”. I asked on the brink of tears as I sat beside Grace on the bed.
“What if it’s not?”. She questioned.
I looked to the floor. A part of me wanted the baby. I wanted something to call my own. Or someone in this case. My hand instinctively went to my still flat belly.
But another part of me wished I wasn’t pregnant, at least Flynn wouldn’t have to find out that I slept with Mr Rossi. It’ll be our little secret.
“I don’t know”. I whispered unsure of my life at this point.
“You have to take a stand baby”. Grace softly cooed.
I’m thankful that Grace was being very supportive about all of this. I couldn’t handle her yelling version.
“Victoria, what do you actually want?”. Simon was mad at me. He’d snap at me every chance he got. I don’t know what I did to him.
“Why are you getting mad at me?” I said to him on the brink of tears.
“I should!. I really should Victoria. I’m really disappointed in you. How did you become like this?. What were you thinking? That if you get pregnant for him he’s gonna marry you?”. He yelled at me.
I was a sobbing mess at this point. Why is being mean to me?.
“Why are you treating me this way?”. I managed to get out. I couldn’t control my tears.
“Because someone needs to tell you the truth in black and white. Not treating you with kid gloves and pampering you like Grace does. Own up to your freaking mistakes Victoria, you’re not a child anymore”. He spat venomously at me.
“That’s enough Simon! She’s already having a rough time. The least you can do is to be supportive. If you can’t do that, it’ll be better if you leave”. Grace defended me to Simon.
“No need for that. I was already leaving”. He got up and walked out the door, banging it on his way out.
I cried like a baby in Grace’s arms. I cried till I couldn’t cry anymore. What would my life be like now if I was really pregnant?
“It’s alright pretty girl, we’ll get through this”. Grace provided comfort to me by rubbing my back.
“What do I do Grace?”. I asked her in between hiccups.
“Let’s get you freshened up and we’ll go to the hospital alright?”.
I nodded like a baby as I slowly made my way up and into the bathroom.
I was in a daze as I washed my body and got dressed. I was also in a daze as we walked into the hospital.
We sat in the waiting area before it got to our turn.
“Hello madam, what is the reason behind your visit today?”. The female doctor inquired with a warm and professional smile plastered on her face.
“My friend would like to take a pregnancy test. She wants to know if she’s truly pregnant”. Grace answered fluently while pointing at me.
“Miss?”. The doctor referred to me.
“Yes doctor”. I spoke for the first time, answering her meekly.
“What makes you think you’re pregnant?”. She asked kindly with that smile still on her face.
“I had sex with someone unprotected and two days after that day, I saw my period. I thought I was safe but along the line my body started changing, I started noticing I was being overly emotional and touchy. I was picky with food and often found myself eating things I didn’t like eating before. And I also gained some weight too”.
I was very nervous but Grace squeezed my hand in support. I’m so grateful to have her here.
“Did you use the home test kit?”. The kind doctor inquired.
“Yes I did”.
“And what was the outcome?”.
“Two red lines”. I bowed my head in shame. I didn’t want to look at her. She was wearing her wedding ring so I’m sure she thinks I’m a woman of low morals.
“Look at me dear, I would never judge you. I am not in a position to”. She said kindly.
“Thank you”.
“You’re welcome. So you just want to make sure that you’re really pregnant. That’s okay”.
“Yes”.
“A nurse will take you to a room where your blood sample will be collected for the test”. She said picking up the telephone on her table and making a call to someone while I sat there twiddling my fingers.
A nurse in scrubs walks in while I stand up to follow her.
“Excuse me miss?”. The doctor says.
I turn to her as she hands me a leaflet and smiles warmly at me.
“You may go now but think about it carefully”. she says.
I just smile at her and leave with grace.
I was told that I needed to be back for the results tomorrow if I couldn’t wait behind today.
I opened the leaflet and saw that it was a guide on adoption. She was indirectly telling me to give it up to another home if I didn’t want it or if I was planning on having it removed.
Could I really give my child up? I wondered.
That night I didn’t sleep well. I couldn’t wait until morning to find out the result of the test.
I prepared extra early and arrived at the hospital.
I was very nervous. My hands were literally shaking. Grace could not be with me because she had an emergency at work today.
I was all alone.
Simon had lost his job yesterday, so calling him for moral support would be insensitive of me plus he hated me now. I didn’t even know why, what did I do?.
I tried to be brave as I stared ahead at the large building before me. This was making me nervous. I hated hospitals a lot.
I breathed in and out and in and out a lot of times to call my raging nervous, but it was useless.
I was a nervous wreck. Would I be a good mother? Would I be like my mom? Would I be a cool mom? Could I even raise a child with fucking up its life? I couldn’t even afford to raise a kid now.
What if Mr Rossi decided to snatch my baby away from me. My baby? The statement made me laugh, I wasn’t even sure I wanted to keep this child.
I dispersed these weird thoughts as I walked into the hospital.
I breathed out deeply before knocking at the doctor’s office and walked in bravely.
I could do this. Right?. I wasn’t even sure.
“Good day Miss Abbot”. She greeted smiling as usual. That smile must be plastered on her face.
Her greeting caught me off guard, only Mr Rossi regularly called me that.
“Good day doctor”. I responded and forced a smile.
“Your test results are out, you’re pregnant Miss Abbot. Congratulations”. She seemed happy.
I didn’t know what to feel, should I be happy? Sad?.
I tried to calm my nerves and think positively. It was difficult.
“Ohhh okay”. I whispered out softly.
“Have you thought about it? Are you keeping the baby?”. The doctor asked curiously.
“I don’t know for now, doctor. Thank you”. I shook hands with her and stood to take my leave. Taking the report along with me.
I walked out of the office and into the hall as I let all the exhaustion flow freely.
I slid down to the floor and buried my face in my hands.
“What am I gonna do now”. I asked myself.
“Hello, I’m Leonard”.