Ivan’s interpretation of the first ritual had brought about its success, but the second one, which he had interpreted, felt impossible. According to his interpretation, the marking would take place when the lunar eclipse was at its apex. For the lunar eclipse to reach its apex, I had to be in my wolf form.
The lunar eclipse had a different effect on werewolves as compared to the other full moon shifts. On the lunar eclipse, our wolves would have complete control over their form, with minds of their own to do what they liked. I would be in my wolf’s form, where I would have little to no control. Unless Ron, my wolf, would give me control (which never happens when he takes over), I could do nothing.
Ron had always had a mind of his own. Three years ago, when he last took over control, it was a disaster. He attacked and terrified the entire pack, and he didn’t stop until Ivan forced him out of the lights. I haven’t given him control since then.
Knowing that Ron would be in control has stayed on my mind since we did the first ritual two months ago. With the wolf in control, I cannot guarantee what he will do once he takes over. He could turn aggressive and vicious or calm, but knowing I had kept him shut up these past years, I didn’t know if he would be so calm.
Sesi insisted I explain the reality to Zera, which I did, and when she asked what the probability of her getting hurt was, I told her it was high.
Zera’s coming around for the second ritual wasn’t as easy as it seemed. She was terrified, and I was scared as well. My wolf, Ron, was a ruthless side of me. He was bloodthirsty and would attack anyone in his path. I never let him come onto the surface, and even when in my wolf form, I have always retained control.
I remembered how terrified Zera was four weeks ago when I told her about the fate of the lunar eclipse. I needed Ron to be calm for Zera’s sake so he could mark her the way he should. Doing it right was important.
There were many risks attached to being marked wrongly; some included bleeding, falling graciously ill, or, worse, death. I hid none of the risks when I told Zera the truth, and it terrified her, as it should. I was also terrified. I didn’t want to lose Zera, but this was what we had to do.
She was about to trust Ron, whom I didn’t trust tonight, and though she told me she had come to an acceptance of the fact, I could see how terrified she was. She wanted to do this for me, and it was taking almost everything from her to do it. Ron had to create a bond with her so he wouldn’t become aggressive towards her during the lunar eclipse. I had to have faith that he would not hurt Zera in the process of marking her.
Zera hasn’t spoken about it since I told her many weeks ago, and I knew she had thought about it over and over as well.
“It’s time,” Zera said from the window where she stood, staring at the night cloud.
I didn’t need to look to know. I could feel my wolf raging inside me, wanting to come to the surface and dominate as usual. “I know,” I said, and I strode towards her.
She turned when I was near enough, and I beheld her face one last time. I reached out to stroke her cheek, and her lashes fluttered.
“We don’t have to do this. You know the risks and one of them is death. I do not want you dead; I need you, and Zion needs his mother. He’ll be better off having one parent than none.”
She smiled, and her lashes fluttered. “I know that, but I want him to have both, and yes, I am scared, but I choose to be optimistic.” She leaned in and kissed my lips softly before pulling away.
Her courage gave me strength and faith that we would see this through to the end.
I took her hand and laced our fingers together before departing from the bedroom. Since Damor had been in charge of the pack, I had no worries about who would lead them in times like this. I only had to focus on the ritual ahead.
We chose an isolated territory, and unlike the full moon mating ritual, Ivan had no reason to be anywhere close to us. I asked him if he was certain about his absence from the territory, and he said his presence would only trigger Ron, who still hated Ivan for putting a spell of withdrawal on him three years ago. Just as I have been in control of my wolf’s form in the past, Ron has taken control of my human form. He has made me do aggressive things once or twice in the past, and it was never cool.
I had to trust that Ron would take care of Zera like I would, and the last thing I wanted to do was trust Ron.
“Let me out already!” He growled at me, and I released Zera’s hand and mumbled an ‘I love you’ before losing control and being shoved to the back. Zera stood still, watching as Ron emerged and landed on his paws, tall and arrogant as always. A low growl left his mouth, and he took a step forward.
Her hands shot forward in defence, and she stepped back even as she tried to maintain a steady balance on the ground.
“Calm down, Ron. I’m not here to cause any harm. If you and Aaron are truly one, then you’d know by now that I want nothing but the best for the both of you, and that’s why we are here.”
Her words weren’t getting to Ron because he growled and surged forward, and she took to her heels, running as fast as her legs could take her while Ron chased after her.