I smiled to myself. Gio was so vocal about his feelings towards me, something I should hold onto. He was not like this with others, only with me. So why should I think that his feelings weren’t genuine?
A brief silence enveloped us before Gio spoke again.
“Stop taking them-the pills, I mean. I’m going to give you a baby.”
I still couldn’t believe I was hearing this from him. It wasn’t long ago that he didn’t want it. Why did he change his mind?
“What made you change your mind? Why do you suddenly want to have a child?” I asked him.
“I’d rather have a baby with you, Millie, than see you leave and distance yourself from me. I just need to protect both of you, right? There’s a solution so you both won’t be in harm’s way. I’ll also allocate enough time, so he won’t think that I’m neglecting him.” He looked up at me and met my gaze. “I will risk it for you, Millie, as long as you don’t leave me. I want to have a family with you, if that’s what you want… and I will tell you everything I know about your mother if that’s the only thing that will prevent you from nullifying our marriage.”
He held my cheeks and kissed me gently.
“I don’t want to hurt you, but I’ll tell you everything I know as long as you don’t leave me.”
My restrained smile disappeared when I heard that. I wonder what I’ll discover about my mother. Why… do my father and Gio seem to treat her as if she were a bad person? What kind of person is she, really?
~*~
“Your mother wasn’t abused by your father, Millie. In fact, it was the other way around. Your mother was the one who abused your father. Your mother hurt your father, and your father lived in fear. Astrid Pearce married your father because of his wealth, not out of love. She wanted to have a child to carry on her legacy, and that’s you, Millie.” Gio gently caressed my cheek with his finger as I gazed into his eyes. “I’ve heard that your mother also hurt you, especially when she didn’t like what you were doing or the outcome of her training. She left the Belleza family to take care of you, and when you reached the right age, she intended to put you to work for them. That was the agreement between your mother and the head of the Belleza family back then.”
I tried to remember it all, but I couldn’t. It was impossible to recall. Perhaps witnessing my mother’s death made my mind want to erase those memories. Maybe the memories were still there, but my brain refused to acknowledge them. The memories of my childhood persisted.
“If there were a manifestation of evilness, it would be your mother, Millie. If it wasn’t your father she hurt, it was you. That’s how your lives were.” Gio sighed. “I never expected that after your mother’s death, your father would direct his anger toward you. Are you familiar with displacement psychology? It’s a defense mechanism people use when they can’t confront the person who hurt them; they redirect their anger onto someone else. I knew that some people did that, but I wasn’t aware it existed psychologically. Your mother couldn’t take revenge on the person who wronged her, so she transferred her anger to you, especially since you resemble your mother.”
I didn’t know whether to be pleased or troubled by his comment that I resembled my mother. Perhaps in the past, when I didn’t know about her actions, I might have been happy. But now, Gio’s statement only reinforced that when he saw me, he remembered my mother and her crimes. I held his hand against my cheek. “Aren’t you angry with me, Gio? That’s what Mama did to your family, but… despite that, you still managed to love me.”
“Why would I be angry? Why would I be angry with you? You were so innocent, Millie. You purged the evil within me every time I saw you. I even thought back then that I couldn’t have you, so I was content with just following you.”
I sighed at his words. He had often told me he liked me for a long time, but he never said when.
“How did you find out all this, Gio? I don’t remember anything at all. Were we childhood friends? Have we known each other since we were kids? I hope you can answer me now.”
He chuckled softly, probably because of what I had just said.
“You may not know me, but I know you very well. It seems that ever since I met you, I’ve been a bit of a stalker,” he paused briefly, “We aren’t childhood friends. I just accidentally saw you and fell in love the moment I laid my eyes on you love at first sight, Millie.”
And yet he still wouldn’t be straightforward with me. “Why didn’t you tell me right away that my mother was a bad person? That she treated me this way? Perhaps…” I sighed and lowered my gaze.
It hurt to realize that I had experienced cruelty not only at the hands of my father but also my mother. It made me question the purpose of my existence if both my parents considered me worthless. “I want to somehow preserve the positive image you had of your mother. I don’t want you to feel-”
“I was never loved by my parents. Both of them abused me. I can’t even remember one of them, while the other’s actions are fresh in my mind. I was all alone; I had no one to turn to. Whether my mother is alive or dead, my life wouldn’t have been any better because… I’m their child. Mama raised me to be her replacement, nothing more. To her, I am just her tool, which she intends to use to pass on her legacy. She doesn’t see me as a daughter.”
As time went on, it all sank in even deeper. It was painful, but maybe my heart had grown too tired to be very emotional anymore.
“Hush, you’re not alone. I’m here, Millie. I love you. I’m willing to fill the void left by your parents’ lack of love. I am here, and I will be enough for you. You have me, all of me.”
I looked up at Gio. Why was he like this? Even when I hurt him, even when I tried to push him away, Gio never got angry with me or hated me. He always treated me with gentleness, from the past to the present. He might show cruelty to other people, but never to me.
I hugged Gio. My heart was at ease once more. He always managed to calm my turbulent emotions. I didn’t know how he did it, but Gio chose to keep the truth from me, even though he knew I’d probably forgive him if I knew my mother’s true nature. Instead of exposing her, he hid it from me because he wanted me to think my mother was a good person who loved me. He didn’t want me to feel that none of my parents had ever loved me.
“I love you, always, Amelie. Don’t forget that.”
I tightened my hug, smiling as I did. I loved Gio deeply.
“Don’t f****g bring up that annulment again.”
I laughed. While Gio’s tone had been extremely soothing earlier, it was now filled with annoyance after he mentioned the annulment.