I still couldn’t find my voice. My mind was a blank, and I couldn’t figure out what to say to him. If only I could say that everything’s fine, like I used to, but I couldn’t. Accepting Gio back meant as if I accepted what he did to my mom and turned my back on my own mother.
We’re already past what my mom did to them, but she’s still my mom. No matter how bad she seems to others, she’s still my mother. I shouldn’t turn my back on her. She’s my mom.
But I love this man. Seeing him like this, I couldn’t bear it either.
“Go home, Gio. You might get sick if you stay out in the rain,” were the only words that came out of my mouth. I sighed to push back the tears that threatened to fall.
“I’m sorry to disturb you. I just want to make sure you’re okay. If you need someone to talk to, call your friends, Millie. I know they can help you. Or if you can talk to me, I’m here. I am just one call away.”
Hearing that from him was painful too. Gio knew very well that ever since we got married, I didn’t rely much on my friends because I always leaned on him. He knew that, and he knew I didn’t want to talk to him.
“Take care, Millie. I love you.”
I quickly ended the call and went inside the house. I locked myself in my room, to the point where I wouldn’t even come out to eat. If Sienna and the others didn’t knock on my door and beg me to eat, I wouldn’t have.
When I couldn’t bear my feelings anymore, I called my friends. They listened to me and offered support.
“We don’t know what to say to you, Millie,” Rae gently stroked my hair. “Because we know that both you and your husband are hurting. We want to tell you to fix it, but it’s not that easy. Your families are involved. He’s also involved in the death of your mother.”
“Yes, but we also want you and Gio to reconcile because… when he called us, he sounded so sincere and worried about you. It’s the first time we heard that tone from him, even though I’ve only met him a few times,” Nin added.
“If only it were that easy. If only I could think that my mom killed his grandparents, so it’s all even between us. Let’s forget everything. Hooray!” I laughed at myself. “If it were that easy, I would have done it and run back to Gio. But I can’t. I’m hurting, and I’m hurting him.”
“Are you mad at him, Millie?” Nina asked. “Your husband?”
I shook my head. “No… I’m not angry with Gio. I was just shocked at first, so I said all those things to him. But now… I’m not mad at him. I understand him, but it’s also painful for me. Ever since I found out about this, I’ve been thinking, when he sees me, does he remember my mom and the crime she committed against his family? But I also can’t turn my back on my mother.”
I took a deep breath. We’re both victims of Gio’s past, and no matter how much we try to forget it, my mother’s blood is on his hands, and he won’t forget what my mother did to her loved ones when he sees me.
“I’m actually thinking of something.”
My two friends looked at me, clearly puzzled by what I said.
“What are you thinking?” Rae asked.
It’s been several days since I talked to my friends. It’s been several days since I last spoke to Gio. He often sends me messages, telling me to take care of myself and such, but I don’t reply.
In the days I spent without Gio, I realized that when we were together, I became too dependent on him and forgot how to stand on my own.
I talked to my lawyer and explained what I wanted. It may be challenging, but I’m determined to proceed with it.
I was on my way to Gio’s office. As soon as I was recognized, the receptionist allowed me in, and I walked straight to his office.
“Ma’am, Mr. Locatelli is waiting for you,” Heidi greeted me. I didn’t talk to her and walked right in.
I immediately noticed Gio’s serious expression, and he probably had a hunch about the possible reason for my visit.
“You can leave us now,” he instructed his secretary.
Once Heidi left, I didn’t hesitate to state my reason for being there. I dropped a folder on his desk and looked directly at Gio. He glanced briefly at the folder before meeting my gaze.
“I want to annul our marriage, Gio. I want an annulment,” I said firmly, not breaking eye contact.
“What did you say?”
I don’t know if he really didn’t hear what I said or if he’s just too shocked to absorb the news, even though it was so clear. I swallowed hard and cleared my throat before attempting to repeat my statement. I want an annulment,” I tried to sound brave, but my voice betrayed me, quivering.
Gio might notice my hesitation. I’m aware my chances are slim, but I’ll find a way. Gio and I can’t be together anymore. There are many reasons, and I’m not sure if I can use them against him. My lawyer briefly mentioned a few things, and I haven’t discussed Gio’s aversion to having children or what he did to my mom. I’m not even sure if I can use those against him. For now, cooperating with me would be quicker if Gio agrees. I won’t need to use all those reasons. But if not, I might have no choice but to tell my lawyer about those two things.
Gio just looked at me. I could feel his surprise at my words, but he didn’t show it. He sighed and picked up the folder I had placed on his desk. He studied its contents and finished in less than ten minutes.
“I want you to cooperate with me, Gio. It’s better if we work together on this. You also know we can’t be together.”
Gio raised an eyebrow and looked directly at me. “Do you want me to help you annul our marriage? Did you even ask me if I want to do that? I don’t even want to nullify my marriage, Millie,” Gio’s voice remained calm, making it difficult for me to gauge his thoughts.
“You know well that we can’t be together, Gio. I can’t be with you and not think about the crime you committed against me every time I see you. I can’t bear it.” Lies! I’m doing this for you, Gio! I have no right to be your spouse, especially with the crime my mom committed against your family. You can’t be with me, and I can’t be with you.
Those were the words I wanted to say, but something else came out of my mouth. I had been crying for days, and now I was determined to stop. He didn’t respond, just kept looking at me, so I fought back his stare with all my strength. He released a deep breath before shaking his head.