When Aunt Elsie and Papa returned, Sienna left our house and went back to Papa’s place. I felt even sadder because there were times when I was alone at home, especially when I had no job. I found solace in the mall and allowed my feet to take me wherever they wanted, just to forget all the troubling thoughts in my head. While having lunch, I came to a conclusion.
I admit that I’m weak. I wasn’t raised for this kind of life, and I never expected to wake up one morning and find myself marrying someone like Gio.
After the mall, I entered a car.
“Where to, ma’am?” the driver asked.
“Mom and Dad’s house.” They knew where it was.
Although the driver was puzzled about why I wanted to go to Gio’s parents’ house, he still drove me there.
In no time, I arrived at Mommy and Daddy’s house. They let me in, but informed me that Mom and Dad weren’t there.
“That’s okay. They’re not who I’m here for.” I took a deep breath and nervously smiled. “Is Gianna here?”
As I waited for a response, my mind raced with conflicting desires. Part of me wanted them to say no, but another part wanted to proceed with my plan.
“Is she inside the house?”
Quickly, I made my way inside the house and didn’t need to search for Gianna because I saw her in their living room. I almost choked and hesitated, as if I wanted to step back.
But I had to remind myself, “You can do this, Millie,” before walking toward her again. As I approached Gianna, I noticed the way she was looking at me. She was engrossed in a book, which she promptly closed upon seeing me. Her eyes held a glint of amusement that quickly faded along with any emotion she had.
“Hi,” I greeted her, despite my hand growing cold.
“What a pleasant surprise. Why are you here? Does my brother know you’re here?” She raised an eyebrow, making me nervous. It was clear that she didn’t want me here.
“No, he doesn’t know. I’m here because I wanted to ask you a favor, Gianna.”
I waited for Gia to speak, but it seemed she was waiting for me to continue, so I promptly elaborated on what I’d said earlier.
“I know I have a lot to learn about the life I have now and the life you all lead. I understand that you might see me as a burden because I can’t contribute much. I can’t even help myself. Your words hurt, but they also opened my eyes.” I took a deep breath. “So, if you would give me a chance, could you teach me the things I need to know? I want to be something helpful in your family, Gianna. I want to become someone you can acknowledge as a worthy wife for your brother. Teach me everything I need to know.”
I paused for a while. Gasping for words that I needed more to say.
“I want to become brave and strong. I want to break free from my own weakness because I can’t confine myself to being weak. I want to evolve. I want to be able to stand up for myself without relying on anyone, not even Gio. And, most importantly, I want the people around Gio to see that I am worthy of being his wife.”
~*~
I clung to my hand because it hurt. I’ve been holding various types of guns since earlier because Gianna is training me. Her training was peculiar. It was continuous and almost relentless, as if there was a deadline looming. Well, there actually was. Gianna said she would only train me while she’s here in the country, which is just a month because she’s leaving the country again.
I remember the day I approached her for help. “Are you sure?” she asked me, clearly challenging me. “I didn’t say that because I want you to change for my brother. I said it because it’s what I observe and see.”
“I know, and it’s good that you told me, Gianna. I’ve been thinking for a long time that maybe I don’t fit into Gio’s world, so I thought of a way to fit in. If you can teach me everything I need to know, I’ll do it, and I’ll embrace everything you teach me.”
I had contemplated this for a long time before going to Gianna’s house. I didn’t take offense to what she said, even though I admit it hurt. Maybe it’s normal for her to see me as an obstacle because compared to other women who could potentially marry Gio, I’m nothing. Now, I want to prove myself. I want to gain her trust and respect and make her acknowledge me. I will continue to prove myself.
In the past, I used to belittle myself and just let all the words others threw at me slide. But I’ve learned something now. If what they’re saying is true, I’ll accept it, but I’ll use it as motivation to become a better person. If it’s not true, I won’t let it affect me too much.
Being with Gio has taught me a lot, and so has attending sessions with Dr. Meghan. The counseling is really helping me. I’m glad I accepted Gio’s help. I’m willing to learn, Gianna, and I’ll prove to you that even though I’m not from the family you desire for your brother, I still deserve to be his wife.
I didn’t choose to be in this position. I never expected to like staying in this marriage. I didn’t realize that my father’s strong push for me to marry Gio would have such a significant impact on my life.
The side of her lips lifted. I felt like I could finally breathe when I saw it.
“One month,” Gianna said. “I only have one month here. During that time, I will teach you everything you need to know.” She walked closer to me, and though I wanted to step back, I didn’t. “Prepare yourself, Millie, this will not be an easy training.”
And yes, it isn’t easy. Gianna has been training me for a week now, and it’s extremely tough! When I get back home, I feel like I’ve been through a battle. Sometimes I even juggle work and training, leaving no time for myself. Sometimes, Gio and I don’t even have time to talk because I fall asleep from exhaustion!
“Can you handle this?”
I looked up and saw Gianna. I nodded and quickly stood up, my hand feeling better after a short break. My stamina was now keeping up with the others here.