Jeremiah
“You have a visitor,” the guard said as he opened the door to my cell. I stood up from the cot they’d given me to sleep on and walked over to the door where he cuffed me.
I’d never been behind bars before, and God willing, I wouldn’t be there for long. I did what I was told, letting the guard lead me down the hall to a room.
There was a table in the center of the room, and Elle was sitting there. When the door opened, she jumped up, and her eyes were so full of pain as she saw me in handcuffs and an orange jumpsuit. It pained me just as much to have her see me that way.
The guard walked me over to the table and let me sit down.
“You can take those things off,” Elle said, chin up. “He won’t hurt me.”
I didn’t think her words had any bearing on the guard removing the cuffs, but it was a nice gesture on her part all the same. She seemed angry that I was there. At least I wasn’t the only one. She watched as the guard left the room, staying silent until the door was closed behind him.
“Oh Jeremiah,” she said, reaching across the table and taking my hands in hers. “I’m so sorry this happened.”
“Where are the girls?”
“They’re with Piper,” she said. “They’re in good hands.”
I nodded, unable to look her in the eye. I was so ashamed, even if I hadn’t done anything to deserve being in here.
“What’s the plan?” she asked.
“The plan?”
“Yes. When do you get in front of a judge, when can you make bail, you know – the plan.” She sounded so professional, so put together. Almost like a lawyer herself. “I get to see a judge this afternoon.” “And what’s the plan?” she pestered.
I sighed. I really didn’t want to drag her into all of it, but
I had to keep her in the loop. “I plead not guilty. Because I’m not guilty. Simple as that.”
Sam had mentioned the possibility of a plea deal. If I pled guilty to the extortion charges, they would go lighter on the murder charges. I would face jail time – a lot of it since a man was dead. But there was no way in hell I’d plead guilty to something I didn’t do, especially murder.
My babies wouldn’t grow up thinking their daddy was a murderer or an extortionist. Especially since I’d still miss out on them growing up. It wasn’t like I’d be released with just a slap on the wrist. I’d miss first steps, first birthdays, Christmases, their first days of school. I might be able to get out when they were fifteen years old, but by then, they wouldn’t even know me.
It hurt to even think about missing everything.
Elle was studying my face and slipped her hands from mine. She put some distance between us.
“What is it?”
“What is what?” she asked, blinking at me in surprise.
“I can tell there’s something on your mind. Spit it out.”
She sighed and leaned back in the chair, twirling a section of her hair. Her hair was down today, falling over her shoulders with a hint of natural wave to it. She wasn’t wearing makeup, and she looked as if she’d just gotten out of bed and put whatever she could find on. This wasn’t like her, but she also never had to care for two babies alone before either.
“I found something, Jeremiah. And I don’t know what to make of it.”
I raised my brows. “What did you find?”
“A check,” she said. “Written for a very large amount to an L. Dierks.”
I put my face in my hands, letting out a deep breath. I had to explain it to her, couldn’t get around that.
“I know it looks bad, but I swear, Elle. The check was written out to the mother of my girls. When we first found out she was pregnant, she was scared and not sure what to do. She was thinking of aborting the pregnancy, but we talked about it. I told her I’d raise the baby. We didn’t know it was twins at the time. She needed help, so I supported her throughout the pregnancy, through wire transfers. But that night, I had my check book in the car and figured it
would be faster than setting up a transfer. ”
“So L. Dierks is the mother of your children?”
“Yes.”
“She wasn’t a surrogate then? It wasn’t pre-arranged?”
“No, not at all. We had a one-night stand that resulted in pregnancy. She didn’t want to be a mother. I told her I would take care of the baby and raise it; she wouldn’t have to be part of its life. We made an arrangement, and since her situation is so dangerous, I promised to keep her identity a secret.”
Elle nibbled her thumb nail, another habit I’d never noticed. This entire situation was doing a number on her, and I felt terrible for it.
She nodded, seemingly okay with the answer.
A guard opened the door and called out. “Time’s up.”
“My hearing is today at two,” I told her. “Hopefully I can make bail and be home by dinner time.”
Elle nodded, not saying another word. I was led from the room and put back in my cell. Thankfully, I was alone, I had no cellmate. But that meant I had nothing to do but stare at the walls and get caught up in my head.
And the thoughts in my head were likely as unfriendly as any cellmate might be.
Ooo000ooo
“How do you plead, Mr. Jenkins?” Judge Beverly Slade sounded bored as she spoke to me. She’d read the list of charges a moment before, and my head spun. There were so many of them, none of which I was guilty of. How did I find myself in this mess?
“Not guilty, Your Honor.” Sam had brought up the deal again, but there was no way. None. I wasn’t guilty. I was going to prove it.
There was a lot more legal speak, all of it sounding like something out of a television courtroom drama. I never expected to find myself in front of a judge.
“We request bail be denied for the defendant,” the prosecutor spoke up.
“On what grounds?”
“He’s a flight risk, Your Honor,” I scoffed at the very thought.
“The defendant has two infant children and no known family outside of Liberty. He does not appear to be at risk for leaving the area. Bail will be set at one million dollars.”
One million dollars. My heart skipped a beat. Sam had told me it was possible they’d ask for a very large amount for my bail, even mentioning a million himself. Murder charges were serious, and it was possible I wouldn’t have been given bail at all – except my record helped me. It was clean and clear, not so much as a parking ticket.
But I was going to be released.
I was going home to my babies.
Elle picked me up outside the jail some time later. She was alone; the girls were still with Piper. I swore to myself as soon as it all was over I’d be spending every minute with my girls. I’d never leave their sides again if I could help it.
She drove me straight to the daycare, and we picked them up. I didn’t stick around for small talk, all I wanted was to get us home. All of us. Including Elle.
I didn’t say much, and neither did Elle. I wasn’t sure if she just didn’t know what to say or if she was mad at me for not being more open about the mother of my children. It didn’t matter, as far as I was concerned. She wasn’t in the picture. I preferred not to think about her. The girls would never know her because that’s what she wanted.
So in my mind, she didn’t exist. I was thankful for her for giving me the girls and for giving me the option to raise them alone even though she had no desire to be a mother. Her situation was difficult. There was no ill will. But I tried not to think about her as much as possible. It was better for both of us if we forgot she existed.
“Jeremiah?”
“Yes, sorry,” I said. “Did you say something?”
“We’re home,” Elle said. “I can grab Amelia, if you can get Grace.”
“Of course.” I shook myself out of my thoughts. It did me no good to live in the past.
We carried the girls inside, hurrying in since the snow had started to fall again. It was getting cold since the sun went down. They were covered up, but I wanted them inside, safe and warm.
Elle helped with the bottles while I got the fire going. We fed the girls in the warm glow of the fire, and it felt nice. I had never appreciated my home more than that moment, after a night spent behind bars.
Hopefully I’d never have to do it again.
“Grace lifted her head up yesterday, all on her own,” Elle said softly.
“That’s my girl,” I cooed. “So proud of her.”
“They’re getting so big and strong,” Elle mused, taking Grace’s little hand, letting the fingers wrap around one of hers while she fed the baby.
“They are.” And I could miss so much if I end up behind bars. I cleared my throat. “If I end up going to prison, I could be gone for a very long time.”
“Don’t talk like that.”
“I have to because it could happen,” I said. “And if that’s the case, and you’re still comfortable caring for them, I expect you may find someone else – another man – and-”
“Jeremiah, stop.”
“No, Elle. You need to listen to me,” I said, gripping the bottle tighter in my hand. Amelia finished it, and I put it down on the coffee table, slamming it down a little harder than necessary. “If I go to prison for twenty or more years, the girls won’t even know me. And I can’t expect you to wait for me.”
“I will. I waited this long for you, didn’t I? I waited for my entire life, and-”
“Most of that was your childhood, Elle. It doesn’t count. You’re a grown woman with needs, and you deserve a happy family. So do the girls.”
Grace finished her bottle, and Elle put it down. She lifted the baby up to rub on her back, since Grace sometimes got reflux. She knew all this, and she acted without direction. But her gaze never left mine.
“We don’t know what’s going to happen, but you can rest assured, I’ll do everything possible to make sure you’re the one raising your daughters.”
“I appreciate that, but you need to stay out of it, Elle.”
She pursed her lips, and I knew that look. She wasn’t going to stay out of it, and there was nothing I could do to stop her.
God, she was a strong-willed woman.
And I loved her for it.
She was so beautiful, holding my child. Her blonde hair pulled to one side, away from Grace’s prying fingers. Her brown eyes might have been tired, but she was alert. She was smiling in a natural sort of way. Contentedly. As if she this was exactly where she wanted to be.
And I knew in my heart, it’s exactly where we were both supposed to be.