They can see that the money is going to someone who’s not one of the developers I’m accused of working with. She’s not connected to them at all.”
“That’s good, and maybe it won’t even come up. But if it does…”
“We’ll deal with that when the time comes.”
Sam remained quiet. “You know, if they take you to court for the bribery and money laundering charges, they don’t need much to convince a jury that you’re guilty. You could face jail time. Have you thought about what would happen to your daughters if that happened?”
I stared past him at the wall, knowing he was right. “I don’t know. I’ll figure it out.”
Another reason they may have been better off had I put them up for adoption, I thought. No, don’t think like that. You’ve done nothing wrong. Nothing illegal. The truth will come out. It has to.
Your daughters need you.
They have no one else.
“Is there anyone who can vouch for you the night of James’ disappearance? Anyone at all? Even a cashier at a grocery store or a friend you might have called?”
I shook my head. “I don’t see many people. I have my hands full with the twins, Sam. I don’t have time for a social life, and I have my groceries delivered.”
“Well, did you have any groceries delivered the night of his disappearance?”
“No, afraid not.”
“Damn.”
“But there’s no way they can link me to his disappearance. I was nowhere near James’ home. I never have a reason to go into that part of town. They won’t find any of my DNA there, nothing. Because I wasn’t there. And
it’s innocent until proven guilty, right?”
“It’s supposed to be,” Sam muttered skeptically.
“Sam, you’re supposed to be more confident than this. I’m innocent.”
Sam just stared at me, his brown eyes searching for the words. “I believe you, Jeremiah, but like I said, things don’t look so good. We need an explanation for the money being moved around in the city’s financials, and we need an explanation for James’ death. We need something, and so far, we have nothing.”
“We have the fact that I’m innocent. Isn’t that enough?”
“I hope so, Jeremiah. God, I hope so.”
Ooo000ooo
“I’m sorry,” I said as I pushed open the door to Little Cubs.
“Another emergency.”
Piper was sitting in the front with my girls in the carseats I had dropped them off in earlier that day. The daycare closed forty-five minutes before I pushed through the door. I had dropped them off so suddenly when Sam had called and told me I needed to come into the police station for questioning or they’d be sending officers to my door. It had all happened so fast, and I had been kept longer than I had planned.
Piper smiled at me, holding a bottle to each girl’s mouths. She was feeding them at the same time and made it look easy. Why didn’t I think about using their carseats or another carrier to feed them? One bottle in each hand. I had so much to learn.
“It’s alright. I decided to feed them since it’s about dinner time.”
“Yes, of course,” I said, running a hand across my brow. It was cold and the ground was covered with snow outside, but I had worked up a sweat rushing to get to my girls. The stress didn’t help, of course. “How are they doing?”
“They’re doing well, Jeremiah. You’ve got nothing to worry about. They’re almost done, just give it one second.”
I plopped down on the floor beside her, sitting nearest to Grace. She had a few drinks left in the bottle, not much at all. I’d given Piper plenty of formula to have on hand in case of something like this. I wished I hadn’t had to use it, or her, at all. It made me feel like a failure that I almost missed feeding time for my daughters.
“Jeremiah, it’s normal to feel this way.”
“Feel what way?”
She cocked her head to the side and chuckled. “That you’re a failure since you can’t do everything yourself. My mom had always said that it takes a village to raise children. You can’t do it alone. And you’re very much alone, with not one, but two babies.”
“I know, but this stuff that’s going on-it’s not normal.”
“It’s also not your fault.”
It was nice that Piper believed in my innocence. I wasn’t as close to her as I was others in town, so knowing that she believed me meant a lot. But she also didn’t know everything. No one did yet. When the news broke about James’ death, that might sway some opinions.
“All done,” Piper said, holding up the empty bottles.
“Thank you for staying late.”
“It happens, Jeremiah. In this field, it happens more often than you’d realize. Parents are often pulled in so many directions and sometimes they’re late. But you’re here now, and that’s all that matters.”
She rose from the floor and again offered to help me to my car.
“I’ve got it,” I said, not wanting to bother her further. She had already stayed late; she didn’t need to do anything more for me. I could easily carry both carseats.
I covered them with their little blankets, careful to hold the blankets away from their faces and making sure they were nice and cozy as I carried them out the door into the dark parking lot. The streetlights illuminated the lot, and the snow even made it look brighter than it was, but it was still fairly late in the evening, and the darkness around me reminded me of that fact.
I was the only vehicle in the Little Cubs parking lot besides Piper’s. The last parent to pick up his kids. I didn’t want to continue down that path; I didn’t want this to become a common thing.
I buckled the girls into the backseat and blasted the heat in the truck as we drove off, headed for home.
“I’m so sorry,” I said, speaking to the babies, who had no idea what I was saying. “I don’t want to be this type of father, and I promise you I’ll be better.”
I made the pledge to them knowing that even if they couldn’t understand it, I did. I knew what I was promising, and I’d never willingly break a promise to anyone, especially family.
Especially my daughters.
A lump formed in my throat as I thought about the possibility that I could end up in prison. I wouldn’t be able to keep my promise then.