I put the beer down, afraid it was clouding my thoughts. I had to adjust in my seat, cringing as my erection brushed against my jeans. I cursed myself; that’s what I got for having such inappropriate thoughts about Elle.
Thankfully, she didn’t seem to notice and continued talking. “Do you remember that time Dad thought I took a drink from his beer? When I was eight, maybe?”
“I do,” I chuckled, remembering Carl’s face. He wasn’t so much mad as he was worried. “He kept asking me to call poison control to make sure it wouldn’t hurt you. You kept insisting you’d only smelled it and thought it was gross.”
“That’s exactly what happened. I smelled it, thought it smelled like pee, and put it right back down.”
“And Carl kept saying, ‘It’s okay if you tried it, you won’t be in trouble. I just need to know in case it can make you sick”
“Yes! He was a good dad.” Her voice cracked.
“He was. I hope to be as good as him.”
“Oh, I have no doubt. I always thought you’d make an amazing father.”
I looked down at my hand. “Thank you. That means a lot coming from you.”
A silence hung over us. I glanced up and found her staring at me, a pained look on her face.
“What’s wrong?”
“Do you think-never mind.” She shook her head as if trying to banish whatever thoughts she was having.
“Do I think what?”
She hesitated, but I could tell the words were on the tip of her tongue. Finally, she sighed. “Do you think my father was proud of me?”
Tears welled in her eyes, and it killed me. Any sexual thoughts I’d had went right out the window. This was Carl’s little girl. This was Eleanor.
“Of course, Elle,” I murmured. “How could he not be?”
“I don’t know. He just had all these big dreams for me, for me to go off to college in New York City, to become this big-time journalist. It was supposed to be worth being gone for so long. I even missed-” She stopped short, but I knew what she was thinking.
“Elle, there’s no way you could have known he was going to pass away so quickly. No one did. He showed no signs, no symptoms, and even if he suspected it, you know your father was far too stubborn to let anyone know something was wrong.”
She nodded. “I guess so. I feel like I missed so much, and I still ended up here. But it’s too late. He’s not here.”
I wanted to cross the room and hug her but wasn’t sure it was appropriate. I also didn’t trust my thoughts since only moments before I’d gotten an erection looking at her. Jesus, I couldn’t be sure what would happen if I touched her.
So I stayed put, tried to comfort her from afar. “Elle, your father just wanted you to be happy. He didn’t care what you did with your life, as long as you were happy and healthy – and you are, aren’t you?”
She nodded. “For the most part, yes. Except for his absence, I do love being home.”
“And he would be proud of you for taking over the Leader.”
She barked out a laugh. “Proud of me running that pitiful excuse for a paper, you mean? Not like we’re going to be in business much longer. No one wants to read the local paper anymore.”
“He’d be proud of you because you took a chance. You took ownership of your life and didn’t let your doubts stop you.”
She was silent for a second, and a smile crossed her face. “Thanks, Jeremiah. You knew my father better than anyone, so it means a lot to hear that. You always could get through to me.”
She stood up, and before I could stop her, she crossed the room, leaned down toward me, and wrapped her arms over my shoulders. Her breasts pressed nearly into my face since she was standing and I was sitting. It was hard to breathe, hard to think for a second. She pulled away, and the erection was back.
Thankfully, she didn’t look down. She looked straight into my eyes instead.
“I think I’m going to head out, but thank you for the talk.
I’ve missed you, you know that?” “I’ve missed you too,” I admitted.
Calm down, Jeremiah. This is Carl’s daughter, I kept repeating to myself.
I walked her to the door, and she gave me a proper hug. I swallowed hard, worried that she’d feel my erection against her body. But when she pulled away, she seemed oblivious. She leaned in and kissed me on the cheek, her soft lips brushing against my skin and sending the rest of the blood in my body south.
Get a grip, Jeremiah. Get a fucking grip. This is unacceptable.
Elle pulled away, and there was something in her eyes a heat that I’d never seen before from her.
“Have a good night,” I said, yanking the door open. “And drive safely. Your father would never forgive me if anything happened to you.”
I brought up her father, hoping to remind both of us both of who she was to me. Her gaze fell and her cheeks flushed.
“Yes, of course. Have a good night, Jeremiah.”
She walked out the door, and I realized she’d left her scarf on my couch. But I wasn’t going to risk calling her back.