*Andrea*
I didn’t want to leave Alejandro alone with Austin. But I allowed my trust in Alejandro to get the better of me.
Maybe it would be better if they had some time together.
Alison walked into my room with me, saying, “I am so sorry. This is all my fault. Alejandro is here because of me. If I had known he was at the door, I wouldn’t have said what I said.” I didn’t blame her. It wasn’t her fault; she was just being a good friend.
I pulled her hand, and together, we sat on the edge of the bed. “I don’t think you are at fault,” I said, placing my hands on hers. So don’t ever blame yourself.”
I knew one day he would find out about Austin. I was just pained I wasn’t able to hide him for long.
“What did he say about Austin?” She wanted to know. I closed my eyes and signed, removing her hands from mine, I pushed some loose strands of hair off my face.
I recounted the entire conversation I had with Alejandro to her. She slanted her head to the side, paying vivid attention as I spoke.
“When do you plan on telling Austin?” She asked. I sighed.
“I don’t know.” I didn’t think I could tell him. He would feel bad, and I wasn’t ready to break his heart yet.
“I agreed to go watch a car race competition with Alejandro and Austin, knowing the reason was to make Austin comfortable around Alejandro.
But I was surprised that they seemed to be more comfortable around each other than I had expected.
They spoke as though they’d known for a long time, and I was tempted to ask what they spoke about in Deve’s office.
Regardless of what they discussed, it was too soon for them to be buddies already.
The place was crowded with people of all sorts. Loud chatting and music fill the air.
Alejandro had secured a good spot for us. It was a booth, more like a small shade made into a booth.
Austin leaped from one chair to another, pointing out various cars.
Another fear I had when I was told about this was that it wasn’t a game for children, but the fear was cast away quickly when I saw how comfortable and secure the booth was.
At first, Austin sat in the middle between both of us, but when the race started, he moved to Alejandro’s right, allowing Alejandro to sit close to me.
Our hands touched as we sat in silence. My heart beat widely within my ribcage. This man still has as much effect on me as he has always had.
I tried to focus on the cars; I didn’t want to dwell on Alejandro.
But I couldn’t run from him forever; that was a fact. He slid his hand into mine. I straightened and gave him a quick look, but he had his eyes pinned on the race.
“You did a good job raising Austin,” he said. What should I say to that? I wondered.
“It must have been hard.” he turned to hold my gaze, and I nodded slowly. It wasn’t the easiest thing I had done, but one thing about it was sure.
But I enjoyed every bit of it.
“But it wasn’t so hard. Austin is smart and understanding,” I said. It was surprising how it could feel like we were the only one on earth while we stared into each other’s eyes.
Everything seems to disappear: the noise, the people, and every single thing.
He stroked my hand; I wanted to pull my hand away; I knew I should. This was so wrong, but it felt so right.
“I wish I was there with you,” I wanted to tell him I wished he was there with me, too. I wish we had raised Austin together, but I didn’t.
“It’s understandable,” that was the only word I could say.
I slowly moved my eyes away from the gaze, “but I will be with you now. I will be in your life and his for good now. We can start again.”
I shook my head as he spoke; this was dilution, clear delusion.
It wasn’t possible, not with Nora.
Alejandro was a married man; it won’t work.
I pulled my hand away from his.
“Alejandro, please,” I felt emotionally strained.
“It won’t work. You will have all the rights of a father as regards Austin. You are his father; no one is taking that away from you, and you’d be treated as one, but I can’t allow you back into my life. You are married,” I may be in love with him, but I wasn’t ready to be anyone’s mistress.
Never.
“You don’t have to worry about Nora. She will be, I mean,” his eyes moved from one place to another. We’ll get…” A loud yell disrupted his remaining words.
“They won, they won.” Austin’s attention returned to the booth, and I adjusted in the chair, moving away from Alejandro.
Alejandro and I didn’t speak all through anymore. Austin had his attention.
I was kinda relieved.
It was a painful truth, but I knew I had to swallow. Alejandro and I will not be possible.
.
.
.
The relationship between Alejandro and Austin got better in time. Dave was away. He had left the day of the event.
He sent me a message that day, but I haven’t replied to him. Not that I didn’t want to, but I haven’t gotten the time to. Not with Alejandro being all I could think about.
“You’ve been staring at your phone,” I raised my head and turned to the side to see Harper staring at me with suspicious eyes.
“No, I’ve not; I just.” I didn’t realize I was reading Alejandro’s text for the hundredth time.
“Pray tell me you’ve been keeping something from me.” She scooted closer. Granted, Harper and I weren’t the best of friends, but we had some things we shared.
I placed my phone on the table; her eyes followed my every move.
“I am not,” she threw another suspicious glance at me.
“Your hairpin looks so nice, where did you get it from?” I asked in a bid to change the conversation.
She touched the hairpin. “Is it? I got compliments but didn’t think so, but now that you’ve said it,” she picked up her phone and stared at the screen. “It is beautiful,” typical Harper.
“I’d love to get one,”
“Fine, let’s go shopping this weekend,” I agreed. We were about to return to our computer when she turned and said, “Did you just change the topic,” I smiled mischievously.
“We have a date this weekend.”
After lunch that afternoon, I was trying to finish a design when a bouquet came in for me. It was my favorite flower, a white rose.
There was a paper attached to it, “and you got flowers. This is serious then,” Harper hovered around me as I opened the paper.
I didn’t have to think too long to figure out who the flower was from.
“What does it say?” She asked.
I showed it to her. We were both girls, and I didn’t have anything to hide.
“Thinking about you!” Her eyes widened.
“You didn’t think it was necessary to tell me you have a boyfriend now?” She sat, and I looked around, hoping no one else heard her.
” Come on, you know that’s not true,” I said.
“Then explain the smiling over a text and the flowers,” he held them and took a whiff of them.
I just laughed it off, and we went back to work.
I hadn’t gone to work with my car because it had some issues.
As I walked out after closing for the day, I could make out a silhouette
leaning on a car.
What was he doing here? I wanted to walk away, but knowing this man, he would walk after me, which would create unwarranted attention.
So I walked towards him, “What are you doing here?” I asked in a whisper, looking around to make sure no one was paying attention to us.
“I came to pick you up.”
“I didn’t ask you to. I am capable of going home myself,” I said.
“I know. But I want to take you home.” “Why?”
He paused and then suddenly leaned towards me, “because I want to be close to you.” He said.
My heart flutters at his words. I know I shouldn’t be allowing him to get me with his sweet words but I couldn’t stop it.
“Fine,” since I can’t avoid it, it would be better to accept it instead of wasting time arguing blindly with him.
He opened the door for me, and I stepped in.
Of course, Alejandro had other plans, so he didn’t drive me home immediately.
We drove around the city, and we talked about when I came here to LA.
I told him about a funny story or what I did when I just came, and the sound of his laughter was something I’ll give anything to hear forever.
I didn’t think this was possible, us being here in a car, laughing together.
The car pulled up in front of my house, and we both stepped down.
“What’s that?” I asked, pointing to a wrapped box he held.
“A gift for Austin.”
“You don’t have to bring a gift every time you come. You’ll spoil him.” I whispered -yelled at him.
“I want to. I don’t care if he’s spoiled.” He said, and we both held our gazes, neither of us willing to back down on this.
“Fine, I’ll try to do it with moderation,” he said, and I smirked. I knew he would give in.
I know he was trying to make up for all the time he wasn’t here, and I appreciate that a lot, but this wasn’t the way to do so.
Austin was asleep when we stepped in.
Alison was in front of her laptop, watching a show.
She raised her head when we stepped in. Alejandro went in to give Austin the gift.
“He drove you home?” She asked in a whisper. I nodded and walked to the fridge to get a water bottle before returning to stand in front of her.
“You shouldn’t go around with him ’cause it’s…” she stopped speaking immediately when she heard his footsteps.
“Alison, I want to thank you,” Alejandro said, surprising us. Alison and I exchanged glances.
“Why?” Alison has not forgiven him fully yet. She was still angry at him for not giving me a chance to tell him about Austin then.
I have tried to speak to her, but it was to no avail.
She has always liked Alejandro, so I knew she’d come along.
“For being with Andrea and Austin.” Alejandro knew Alison didn’t give as much fuck about him as before.
“It’s fine. She’s my sister; that’s what sisters do.” She said, and returned her focus to the laptop, a sign that the conversation was over.
Alejandro didn’t stay. I didn’t see him getting in his car. I closed the door after him and watched as his car zoomed off from the window.
“You aren’t going to allow him back into your life, right?” Alison asked.
I was silent. Old feelings have been rekindled already. “I don’t know,” I replied. I was sure it would be a no some days ago, but now.
Alison didn’t say any other word. I knew I’d have her support for whatever decision I made as long as I was happy.
.
.
I had just finished having lunch the next day when I got a call from Austin’s school. My heart missed a bit as worries began to seep into my bones. Was Austin sick? Did something happen?
I have never been called by his school during work hours before.
I took the call.
“Hello, Miss Wilson,” the voice was soft from the other end.
“Is Austin alright?”
“Yes. But…”
“But?”
“We have a bit of a situation. Your presence is required. Two men are here, and both are claiming to be Austin’s Dad.”