*Alejandro*
I stared at the photo of a man and a woman. The woman’s smile was blinding. The man held her so close to himself as though he feared that when he left her, she’d disappear from the world.
I do this from time to time so that I don’t forget how she looks. I traced Andrea’s smile.
Would things have been different if I had never found out about everything?
It has been over five years, and I still can’t get her out of my mind.
Five years of living without her, and if you ask me, I’ll say that is the most difficult five years I’ve ever got by.
I still find myself craving for her every night. I still find myself looking over her picture and tracing her smile.
The door to my study made a creaking noise and I kept the picture inside a file as the door opened.
“Hey!” Nora greeted.
Since we got married, Lucas has been living with us.
“Do you want something?” I asked. Although we’ve been married for five years, I have never slept in the same room as her. She has tried to talk about it; maybe she thought I’d fall for her again.
But I don’t see myself falling for her, not when Andrea is all I thought of.
“You’ve been here for over four hours. It’s almost morning and you’ve not had anything to eat.” She said, and that was when I noticed she had a tray on her hands.
I looked down, Turning on my laptop in front of me. “You didn’t have to bring anything,” I said. She placed the tray on my table.
“Of course, I had to. I can’t sleep knowing you’ve not had anything to eat.” She said and I rolled my eyes, taking hold of a film on the table.
My eyes moved to the window, staring at the pitch-black night before turning to Nora.
“You don’t have to play this role when it’s just the two of us,” I said.
In front of Lucas, she played wife, and I played father, not necessarily husband, because all I did was for him, my only son.
She placed a plate of food on my table. “Come on, Alejandro. We’ve been living together for over five years. Does it still look like I’m playing roles? This is my duty as your wife,” she said.
I couldn’t stop myself from chuckling.
“What’s funny?” She asked.
“The fact that you think you can ever upgrade from playing roles. I don’t care how many years we have spent together; it will always remain that way for me.” I said, making sure she got the point.
She paused after placing a glass of water next to the plate in front of me.
Her chest rose and fell. I knew she had something to say and was holding it in.
If you ask me, I’d say I’m tired of this and want to end the marriage, but I can’t. I chose this.
“I’ll leave you alone for now.” She said and walked to the door. I returned my gaze to the laptop in front of me.
Not hearing the door open or close, I raised my head to see her standing in front of me, “what?” What was it this time?
“What do I have to do?” She asked.
“Hmmm?” I raised a brow. I didn’t get what she was talking about.
“How do I prove to you that I am not here for any other thing but you? How do I prove to you that I am not the Nora of before? How do I win back your love and trust?” She was almost on the verge of tears.
In the past, I’d have been moved because of her tears. It was a way she blackmailed me. She would always start crying at the little things, and I would be moved to change a decision quickly.
But no more.
I returned my attention to the PC.
“Don’t let the door hit you on your way out. I need to work and have no time for your drama.” I said.
“I’ll leave, but I promise you that I’ll never give up on you, on us. I still want you, and I know you do, too. You may not realize it now, but you do.”
She left.
I inhaled sharply, staring at the position she had been in a while ago.
I didn’t eat what she brought for me.
The next day, I went to the company in the same car as Lucas. That was how close we had become. He works with me now.
He started from the bottom as I refused to give him any favors. He paved his way to the Vice president position he occupies today.
Lucas was my pride, and I can not emphasize how happy I am watching him succeed and bag investments made me feel.
“We have an emergency meeting by 10 am today.” He said, and handed me a file. “These are my ideas and opinions. I wanted to show them to you first before bringing them up at the meeting.” He said.
I nodded as I scanned through the file I was handed.
“Not bad. I like them.” I returned the file to him. “But we’ll have to see what the board says,” I said.
He would make a good chairman someday.
Lucas would become my heir and everything would go the way it should have been.
Four hours later, we sat in the meeting room. The air was heavy with nervousness and anxiety.
“Don’t think you will retain your position if this can’t be dealt with.” I thundered.
“I have ideas and opinions to share,” Lucas said. I had almost forgotten he had shown me earlier.
I looked around the table. From the way they looked, it was clear that, at this moment, Lucas was their savior.
Lucas shared the ideas with us.
We spent the next two hours discussing the cons and pros of his ideas.
Some were accepted, while the others were discarded.
It was decided that Lucas would have to go to Los Angeles. He would take over the branch over there and implement all that was discussed.
I don’t know why I felt I was working on my tip all through that day. Maybe it was because I was stressed or something else. Something I don’t want to think about but I found my mind drifting into thoughts anyways.
After work, I drove to the same place I had taken Andrea a few years ago.
The smell of water hit me, wave washing to the shore. I dipped my hands in my pocket as I walked down the shore.
We were here together five years ago. The night sky stretched into infinity, dotted with stars.
I return to this beach every year. Sometimes, I hope I’ll run into her. Maybe she comes here too. Maybe she still has some memories of us.
But I never found her here and didn’t see her again after the last time. I didn’t mean anything I had said to her, and I regretted it deeply.
“It’s for the best.” My brain whispered to me.
I nodded, tears clouding my eyes. I had no choice. Memories of that night rush into my head, and I didn’t try to push them away.
I sat on the cold rocks. Water rushed towards me, trenching my suit, but I didn’t care.
I can still see Andrea turning on a spot as she digested the beautiful night.
I could still hear us speak. Our voices collided, producing the most soothing sound.
“You are my woman now.” A small smile threatened to break from my lips as I remembered my words, but I held it back.
“And you are my man,” her voice never left my head, not even once. Tears rolled down my eyes.
I was both sad and angry at myself.
Years have passed, and I have the same woman on my mind. I have tried everything I could to get her out of my head. I have tried to have sex with women of different races, sizes, and backgrounds, but it never worked.
I couldn’t keep her off my mind, so I stopped trying.
I raised my head and stared at the crescent moon. She must have found someone else. Was she married now? Is she living her dreams?
I pondered on so many things and suddenly started feeling bad for not bringing liquor with me.
I sat in that position for a long time.
There and then, I resolved to leave. Living in the city is becoming unbearable each day because one day, I will not be able to control myself, and I will go to her home to tell her that I still love her. So I’ll leave. I’ll go somewhere she wasn’t.
I called Williams, “I’ll be going to Los Angeles in Lucas’s place.” I said.
That was the only place I could think of. Even if I ran away from the city, I knew I couldn’t run away from work or family, so Los Angeles only seemed fair.
“Why? Don’t you trust that Lucas can handle it?” He asked.
“It’s not as if I don’t trust Lucas. I want to give him a bigger assignment, and he would need your guidance.” I offered the most believable explanation.
“Which is?”
“I’ll have him take care of everything over here. You should assist him. You know I still need to test his abilities.” I said.
Williams understood perfectly.
“Okay.”
“Book a flight to Los Angeles tomorrow.” I don’t want to stay another day here. I fear that I may lose my mind.
“But you still have a week.” He said.
“I want to be there for the preliminary work,” I said.
“Noted Boss,” Williams said.
If I was in the mood, I’d have teased him or said something to him because he doesn’t call me boss unless he is being sneaky.
But I was in no such mood.
“I won’t disappoint you, dad.” I was standing in the busy airport with Lucas, who was here to say goodbye.
People breamed around. “I know. Listen to Williams. If you have any questions or challenges and want to discuss them with me, I’ll always be available.” I said.
I placed one hand on his shoulder. I walked away afterward.
My phone rang as I stepped further into the airport. Nora’s name appeared on the screen. She was the last person I wanted to speak to.
I switched the phone off immediately.
I am finally free from her burden and all. She should stay back with Lucas.
It was a long flight. By the time I got to Los Angeles, I was feeling sore all over. Maybe it was because of stress that was why I felt tired easily.
I tried to give myself various reasons I could be sad, without linking it to how heavy my heart was.
Jane, a new P. A., would come pick me up from the airport. She called me, telling me she was stuck in traffic and would be there in thirty minutes.
This gave me a bad first impression of her. She should have thought about this before and should have been here waiting for me.
I made a mental note to change her if she does any other to show she is incompetent.
As I walked to the airport’s exit, a little boy ran into me and fell backward.
I quickly reached for him, letting go of the luggage I was holding.
“Are you alright?” I asked. He bristled away from my touch and stood by himself.
“I’m fine.” He said and wiped his clothes. He acted so maturely. “I’m sorry for bumping into you.” He said. His eyes were green, a little bend in his nose and his hair was brown.
He reminded me of someone.
He seemed to hear someone call for him, and he giggled, unlike the mature young boy I had seen a while ago.
“Byeeee.” He waved at me and ran along. I was about to move when I noticed a toy by my leg. He must have dropped it.
I picked it up and turned, ready to call for him. The little boy has been caught by his mother, who has carried him in her arms. She had her back to me.
Though she had her back facing me, she looked so familiar.
I was about to walk towards them when a hand touched my shoulders.
I turned and came face to face with Nora, and my mood dropped immediately.