He got up, went into the kitchen, and came back with a picture of the two of them together. They looked so happy in the picture, it made me think of Jenn and me.
“You see, I still miss everything we had together. I don’t think everyone deserves a second chance, but I truly wish I had given Sue a second chance. I would be a lot happier right now with her, than without her. I guess you have to ask yourself the question, ‘Are you happier without her in your life?’ and go from there. If she hurt you so bad that you can’t find a way out, then you need to move on.”
I was still thinking of that picture, and realized I had some serious thinking to do, yet. My family was the most important thing in my life. Did I really want to see it all come to an end? Did she deserve a second chance? Did we deserve a second chance?
“Thank you, Uncle Larry. I am very glad I came to see you.”
“Anytime,” He said.
I left with more questions than I came to him with, but at least he could understand my situation a little. Perhaps, I should go back to see that counselor, Rose? If not her, perhaps I could go see someone to help me deal with all the crap that I have been through. Jennifer said she was still seeing Rose, maybe it’s helping her out?
The other thing I had to handle that day, was visiting the lawyer I had called. He was supposedly representing the trucking company for the guy that ran into me. I would have figured that my insurance would have reached out to me about it by now, seeing as they were covering the costs for my medical treatment. That couldn’t have been cheap.
I got to the lawyers office, and had to wait in the lobby for about ten minutes, until a very slick looking man came walking out from one of the offices. He identified himself as Derrick Montrose, and asked me to follow him back to his office.
After we got seated he jumped right in, “Thanks for coming, Mr. Jordan. I represent United Trucking, the company that Mr. Worth used to work for. He was the man that fell asleep at the wheel and hit you.”
“Forgive me for asking, but why didn’t my family hear from you before? All I know was that I had an email at my work address. My parents said that they never got even a phone call from you or your office, and my wife said you never returned her calls.”
“Sir, we did send a few letters to your house, and I personally visited your house but no one was home at the time.”
Gee, it sounded like he tried REALLY hard to get in touch. “Ok, whatever, I’m here now. What sort of settlement are you offering us?”
“I would suggest you have an attorney review this with you, but here is a summary. United Trucking is offering to repay all of your medical expenses, as well as a one-time cash settlement in the amount of seven-hundred and fifty thousand dollars. On top of that, any on-going therapy or injury related loss of income is also being offered as compensation.”
“Ok I will take this settlement offer and consider it. When do you need an answer by?” I asked.
“Contact my office anytime in the next week or two, no rush. Here is a copy of the offer, and my card with my number on it,” he said as he handed me a small binder of paper, with his business card affixed to the top corner.
I left the office and went home. That night, when Jenn came over to talk with Sidney, I tried to be nice to her. She smiled, but otherwise, was wrapped up pretty well with the wedding planning. She had such a beautiful smile. Funny, but I don’t get mad when I look at her now, just a little sad. I wish things could be the way they were before.
The next morning, I called Rose’s office to make an appointment. I am sure they weren’t expecting me to come back, but she didn’t turn me away either. I set it up for two that afternoon, so I would have time to get home before the kids did.
I spent the rest of morning cleaning up around the house, and even did a little research for the accountant that had emailed me. He was looking to update some of the tax software that he used to help do other peoples’ taxes. I sent him some information about different products and options we had, and what they would cost. Of course, he would get a discount seeing as he did work for us as well.
That afternoon, I went to see Rose. She smiled warmly as she welcomed me back into her office. Once we got settled in, she asked why I wanted to see her.
“So Matt, what can I do for you? You know I have been seeing your wife regularly after the last joint session you came to, right?”
“Yes, she told me. I’m actually here for me, if that’s ok?”
“Sure, I can try to help you out. What do you want to talk to me about? Does it have to do with your situation with your wife?” She was asking a very obvious question, but the discussion had to start somewhere.
“I… I… I mean, I wish we could roll time back, and avoid that crash, but that’s not my real struggle right now. I really don’t want a divorce. I want to be able to forgive her, but just can’t seem to get over it.”
“Hmm, do you realize that you just said ‘I’ several times in that sentence, but only said ‘we’ once? You might be putting too much of this on yourself, or you might need to take a step back and think in a broader sense. Why do you think this blockage is solely YOUR problem?”
“To be honest, I have no idea. I guess, I just don’t know what it is that seems unforgivable to me. I talked with an uncle of mine, and he gave me some perspective. He had a similar situation with his ex-wife, and now regrets not forgiving her, and staying married. I don’t want to be like him, unhappy and alone.”
“Matt, I still think you are thinking only about yourself here. I don’t mean that in a negative way, other than to point out you are talking only about yourself. Think about this from your wife’s perspective, or even from an eagle’s perspective. Look at you and your wife from the outside, looking in. Now, what do you see?”
I thought about what she said for a minute. How DOES this look from someone who might be watching us, like my kids for instance? Am I doing the right thing? How does it look to examine my wife’s story? I sat silently thinking about this for a minute, and decided I would need to re-evaluate how I viewed the whole problem.
“Rose, I think you are on the right track here. I have been so hyper-focused on my own issues that I haven’t taken into account anyone else. I still don’t know how to look at this from Jennifer’s perspective, but perhaps sitting down with her and talking it out might help.”
“That would be a great start. Communication is one of the primary pillars to any successful relationship, and it sounds like you and your wife need to work on that. Well, I think our time is about up. Would you like to come back next week?”
“Yes, I think that would be a good idea. I can call in tomorrow to setup the appointment.” I said.
I left with more questions than answers, again. At least I felt I was making some progress towards SOME goal. She made me think more about how I had been behaving. Sure, I was hurt after her confession, but did I really listen to her? Jenn and I had so many great years, I thought, that I should have at least talked to her more. Only time will tell if opening up to her will help.