With Jim, I thought I had done ok with stopping him after the first time he kissed me. I missed all the signs after that of his intentions. How could I? I like to think of myself as intelligent, but somehow I just went along with what Jim wanted right up to that fateful night.
After another week of sessions, I had another scare. I was two days late for my period, and was paranoid as hell until I got back to my parents’ house with the pregnancy test kit. I had been off birth control since Matt had the vasectomy, and would absolutely die if Jim had gotten me pregnant. After ten excruciating minutes of waiting, the test came back as negative. Just to be sure, I made an appointment with my OB the next day to confirm that I wasn’t.
After the results came back as negative, I was happy for the first time in a long time. There would have been no hope for my marriage if I had gotten pregnant. I wouldn’t abort the baby if I had, and I knew that Matt would never raise the baby knowing who the father was and how it got there. I wouldn’t blame him for it either.
I still had no intention of sleeping with any other man, so had no need to get on birth control. I told my mom what happened and she just hugged me. I went by our house to visit the kids as often as I could, but dearly wished I could move back in and be with my family.
After a few joint sessions with Matt, I felt we were no closer to getting back together. I was really starting to get depressed, and thought about ending my life. The only thing that stopped me was the kids. I couldn’t put them through any more pain than I already had.
I had to cancel on one joint session, because I was stuck at the hospital. There had been a bus crash, and we were swamped with a lot of really hurt people. By the time I got to my parents and called the doctor, it was past our time slot. I tried to call Matt to explain what happened, but Sidney said that he didn’t want to talk to me.
The next day I went to the house to see the kids and try to explain again, but Matt barely heard me. He told me that he wanted to believe me that I was at work, but felt he had to check out my story anyhow. Things were really not going well, so I went back to my parents’ house.
A week later my world came crumbling down. A process server showed up at my parents’ house to serve me with divorce papers.
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Hi, I am Jim. By now, you probably want to find me and kick my ass. Believe me, I am starting to realize that you’re right, and I deserve it. Let me try to explain myself a little before you get out the Louisville Slugger.
Matt and I had been friends since grade school. If he went somewhere or did something, I was with him. We went to Prom together in high school. Hah, well not together, but we double-dated. That night, we both lost our virginity to our girlfriends. We even had a joint graduation party together. We were inseparable. We weren’t related, but I truly felt we were like brothers.
After graduation, we both got accepted to go to the same university, and we even roomed up together. I used to party with him all the time, and eventually settled down a bit with the same group of friends towards the end of college. It was during this time that he started seeing Jennifer. I was a little jealous of her, as she was taking all of Matt’s time.
As time went on, and I got to know her better, I started to have feelings for her, too. Of course nothing could happen as she was taken, but dang she was a great catch. Life went on and they got married after our college graduation. I thought I had moved on but never could get her out of my head.
I went into business with my uncle selling insurance. His agency sold mostly to businesses, but he did carry a few personal policies. I told him with me on board, we could really branch out that side of the market. He agreed, so we worked to get more involved with homeowners, auto, and life policies.
Anyhow, I did date some women, but never seemed to find the right one. I should have accepted the fact that Jennifer was off-limits forever, but I just kept comparing all my dates to her. Looking back on it, I think I was a little obsessed. You might be saying, “DUH!” at this point.
I met a pretty decent woman named Margaret, but she preferred Maggie. She said her name sounded too formal, and in her words, “Like an old woman name.” We dated a few times until one night, we went back to her house, and had some hot sex. I’m talking the kind that requires you to burn the sheets afterwards hot.
While we were sitting there in the bed, just cuddling, the door busts in, and a huge guy is standing there looking VERY pissed! I was at a loss for words, so just jumped up and tried to grab for my clothes. Something was obviously not right, and I needed to get out of there pronto.
“WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?” the big guy yelled. “WHY ARE YOU FUCKING MY WIFE, ASSHOLE?”
I quickly turned to Maggie, “WIFE?! YOU’RE MARRIED? WHAT THE FUCK?” After that, I was going to try to run past him really quick, but he grabbed my arm and tossed me down to the floor. He kicked me in the stomach and chest a few times, and then stomped on my groin so hard I almost blacked out. That shit hurt, a lot.
Maggie was screaming at him to stop, “DON’T KILL HIM, YOU’LL GO TO JAIL! PLEASE STOP!”
He backed up a step, and I took my chance to get up and run for it. Thank god for adrenaline, because otherwise, I would have been a dead man. I got outside to my car, mostly naked still, and drove to the hospital.
I told them I had been mugged and beaten, and then got checked out by the E. R. After several hours, I was told I had a broken rib, bruised torso and probably ruined testicles. Of course, I yelled at them but they told me that the damage was too severe and they might even need to operate. Thankfully, they didn’t need to operate, but they did some tests and confirmed it was highly likely that I would never father children. That suits me as I didn’t really want any, but that’s beside the point.
Needless to say, after that episode, I was going to be VERY picky about my dating. Several years went by, but no matter how hard I tried, I never got Jennifer out of my head. Fast forward a few years, and my friend Matt got into his accident, and of course I went to help out as much as I could.
At this point I did not intend to do anything with Jennifer, other than help her out. After the first few weeks of being around her and their family, I continued to get really jealous of what Matt had, and how lucky he was. I really wanted what he had.
I took her out to get her mind off things, and was so intoxicated, just being around her, that I kissed her. That night, I realized that I wanted to be with her. I really wanted Matt to recover, but if he never woke up, I would try my best to get her to love me like she did him. She did kiss me back, but right afterwards told me to never do it again and to take her home. When I dropped her off, she told me not to call for a few days and to never try that again.
After a few more weeks, I got her to agree to go out again. I really didn’t lie to her about the other couple that was supposed to be with us, but it worked out in my favor, big time, when they canceled. She and I had a nice dinner and movie without them, and after that, well, you know. She was everything I ever imagined and more.
Right after, she must have suddenly felt guilty, because she quietly asked me to take her home. I dropped her off and hadn’t heard from her since. I heard that Matt had woken back up, but wasn’t sure how I could be around him now. If he found out, I am sure he would kill me.
A week later I had to see Jennifer. I just couldn’t get her out of my mind. I thought I loved her, so I went to see her at work. I waited near the parking garage for her to come out and confronted her. She got very angry with me and told me to leave her alone and never come back. She said she would call the cops on me, even! I was yelling that I needed her, as she drove away.
After that rejection, I went back to my job and life. I was not really sure what else to do but avoid them both and hope for the best. See, told you that you wanted to kick my ass. After all that, I pretty much deserved it.