Then, towards the end of my junior year, we started having a rough time of it, family pressure on both sides, pressure at school, everything, and we began arguing, fighting, really, and things were said, stupid things, just said to hurt, and it all blew up at a party at a friend’s house. This girl, I hardly knew her, I just used to see her around the campus, told me she’d slept with Joe the week before, that he was her guy now, and she was leaving there now to go and be with him again that night, and I was so hurt, angry, furious with him for doing some tramp and letting her talk about it, I did something stupid; I decided what was good for him was equally good for me, so I picked up a guy at the party and went for a drive with him up to the bluffs, and we made out in his car, although we did more than make out.
A few weeks later, I found out I was pregnant. My mom was heartbroken; obviously I couldn’t finish college. I was 20 and pregnant, no husband, no career waiting in the wings, the disgrace. My step-dad was more helpful, he asked the right questions, found out who the boy was from me, went to talk to him and got blown off by his family; they denied that he was the father, and refused to accept any responsibility for their son’s actions.
The only person who stood by me was Joe; I told him what I’d done, and he refused to leave me floundering. He proposed to me, asked to be the father of my baby, and I said yes. Your father was the best man in the world; Joey, it’s a cliche, I know, but truly, they broke the mould when they made him, and I loved him more than anything; he claimed you for his own, gave you his name; he brought you up without ever once thinking you were ever anything other than his son; he may not have been your father, but he was your daddy, and I will always love him for that.”
“When he found out he had pancreatic cancer, that he was dying, his only thought was who was going to look after us, look after you, when he was gone, and his only regret and deepest sorrow was that he’d never get to play touch-football with you, or teach you how to throw a proper curve-ball, or teach you how to drive and fix cars, or watch the Cubs with him, or buy you a car as a graduation present. He died thinking he’d let you down, that he’d somehow abandoned you.”
Tears were rolling down her cheeks as she stopped talking, Joey coming to kneel by her, wiping the tears from her cheeks.
“Mom, that’s not so shameful. OK; it’s something I needed to be told, but hardly earth-shattering. Why all the secrecy?”
Sarah lowered her voice even further. “It’s about who your father is, Joey, the man who refused to acknowledge or accept any responsibility for his actions….”
Joey waited, eyes burning into her, suddenly not sure he wanted to know.
“Who was it Mom?” he whispered
“Oh Joey, I’m so sorry, you deserved so much better!” she said, tears pouring down her cheeks again, “It was Steven Dolan!”
Joey reared back in shock, falling backwards and scuttling crabwise away from his mother. “WHAT? That sack of shit, you… and him… Oh my Christ, I’m..!” He backed away as far as he could, fetching up with his back against the love-seat, his face twisted in shocked disgust.
“Joey, I’m sorry, I was never going to tell you, please, he was just there because I was angry with your father, and I did something stupid. There was never anything there, ever, I only ever loved your father!”
Joey suddenly thought of something, his head swivelling around to look at Robbie and Casey. “You mean, Robbie really IS my brother, and Casey is … my sister?”
Sarah nodded miserably, Robbie and Casey staring in shock, mouths open as they processed what they’d just heard. Robbie was the first to recover.
“Joey, nothing’s… changed between us, we’re still bro’s… right?” he whispered.
Joey looked puzzled for a second. “What… No, no, don’t be ridiculous!” he said, “Nothing’s changed between us, you’re still a dopey butthead geek!”
Robbie grinned “and you’re still a meathead jock!”
Casey slid onto the floor next to Joey, and took his hand in hers. “I have another big brother!” she said in wonder, tears welling up in her eyes, “Joey, you’re my big brother too!”
He gathered her against him and grinned at her. “I guess I am, Case, yeah, I guess I am!” he said, holding her as her tears spilled over.
Sarah watched them all re-connect, hope uncoiling in her as Joey unhesitatingly accepted the biological reality of the role he’d filled emotionally for Robbie for years. Another thought occurred to Joey, and he looked up at Sarah, a lopsided grin on his face.
“So this is why you always made sure I looked out for Robbie, even when we were kids?”
Sarah nodded. “I heard, from everybody who knew, just how poorly the Dolan’s treated Robbie, but no-one ever did anything about it; that’s one of the things about small towns; even open secrets get brushed under the carpet if you’ve got enough money. I decided that if his father wasn’t going to look out for him, maybe his big brother should. I had to do it; I couldn’t leave that little boy alone and defenseless like that.”
“I never thought you two would connect so deeply, but it did my heart good to see you take such good care of him, protecting him when he needed you most; you always were his big brother, in the best possible sense; what you just found out is just a little bit extra. I’m sorry I never told you before, I should have, and then when you two became such good friends, I thought I’d just let sleeping dogs lie. And now you have Casey, too; now at least she has someone to give her away when she and Robbie get married!”
All four heads snapped round at that. “Mom…” began Robbie, looking a little glassy-eyed, and Joey looked sandbagged. Karen spoke up. “Sarah, does this mean that you’re … OK with this, with Robbie and Casey’s… relationship? That you’re going to help them?”
Sarah snorted. “Of course I’m going to help them! My son’s little brother and sister need help, what kind of a parent would I be if I left them out in the cold?”
Casey reached out to Sarah, took her hand. “Thank you Sarah, for being the best parent Robbie ever had; because of you I have him now, thank you for that!”
Sarah patted her hand. “It’s OK Casey. After the last time, it took guts and backbone to walk back in here. I admire you for that, and for what you’re giving up for my boy, so yes, I think you’ve redeemed yourself, I know Robbie thinks so, and Joey and Karen, so I think it’s about time you started forgiving yourself too.”
Casey’s eyes sparkled with unshed tears as she hugged Sarah, finally letting-go of the nightmare of the last four years.
Sarah grinned. It looked like both her boys were getting married; she had some planning to do!
Joey stood up, indicated the kitchen with his chin, and Robbie got up, following him out. Casey made to go with him, but Karen put her hand on her arm. “No, Case, let them go, they probably have a few things to discuss, it’s been a big day for Joey, and Robbie, too, they need to unbend a little.”
++++
Robbie rummaged through the refrigerator, found two beers, and tossed one over to Joey, who popped it and swallowed gratefully.
“That was some scene in there, man!” grinned Robbie, Joey tipping his beer back at him.
“I heard that, bro; that was just so fucked-up, I mean, fucking Steve Dolan, Christ, I’ll never live it down!”
Robbie grinned even wider. “I know, sucks, yeah? I mean, imagine having that shit-head for a parent as long as I did? You’ve only known for a couple of minutes and you’re ready to retch! Makes your blood run cold, don’t it!”
Joey grinned agreement. “Mom coming down on Casey’s side like that was unexpected, I expected at least a few fireworks, but she just… slipped it in. She’s like a… a genius. To Mom!”
“To Mom!” agreed Robbie, clinking cans with him, killing it and popping open another one.