“So Megan is a… Is she a lesbian?” Mike asked, scratching his head, clearly a little confused.
“Well, no. Caroline is bisexual, as she’ll sleep with men or women, so I guess that makes Megan bi-curious, at least for now. I guess that would be the best way to put it. But then Caroline has a penis so… I’m sure there is a term for it but I don’t know enough. Caroline is a transwoman, Megan is a woman, they’re currently dating so…”
“They’re happy together so who gives a fuck,” Chris stated.
I raised my mug in his direction. “Good way to put it, mate. Too many fucking labels nowadays. Just let people be happy doing what they do with needing to judge all the time.”
They sipped at their mugs before Mike asked, “But Caroline wanted to fuck you first?”
“She did, and it probably would have been fantastic, but things are awkward. I love Cindy to bits, but now there’s Alexa. And then there are her other friends… I’m worried I’m biting off more than I can chew. I’m leaving it for Cindy to decide how this all works as she’s the one that agreed with her friends.”
Chris scratched his chin. “So you’re in a relationship with Cindy.” I nodded. “But this Alexa is also in a relationship with you and Cindy too.”
“Sort of. It’s difficult to explain. Easiest way to put it is that we’re not a threesome. Cindy and I are together but Alexa is close to both of us sometimes.”
“And you love being fucked by her,” Mike added.
Taking a sip of my coffee, I figured that Mike and Chris might be the best people to talk about with what was on my mind. I’d thought about what I’d been up to for the past few weeks, particularly with Alexa, but especially since the gangbang. Hand on heart, I’d loved the entire weekend. Six beautiful women had made love to me, then I’d returned the favour.
But the longer it went on, in the sense that Alexa seemed to really love fucking me, and I had absolutely no problem with that idea, I was wondering how I should view myself above all. I didn’t care what most people thought about me, though I guess what my family and close friends thought would perhaps influence certain things.
Thinking about wanting to marry Cindy also left a few more questions about our life together. We talked about the future all the time, but talking was one thing. Our minds would quite obviously change once we’d slid a wedding ring onto each other’s fingers. Cindy loved her friends, enjoyed the time we all spent together, and she was happy to share me with her friends. I enjoyed it as well, but after over thirty years of society telling me what is to be expected, it’s hard to look beyond the programming.
“Something on your mind, mate?” Mike finally asked.
“What sexuality do you think I am?”
“Why do you ask?” The curiosity in his tone almost had me chuckling.
“Until I met Cindy, I would have said I was heterosexual. I’d been married to Megan, and all partners before her were women. And trans issues back then, well, didn’t exist in the public sphere, particularly before the rise of social media. I certainly don’t remember a single lesson at school ever even touching on the subject. Sexuality is obviously a spectrum, but I’ve never actually given thought to sleeping with a man. Hand on heart, I can look at a man and think ‘Damn, he’s handsome’ and that’s it. I certainly don’t want to fuck him or suck his cock.
Now, the thing that’s bubbling up in my mind is that Cindy is a woman. A woman with a difference regarding her anatomy, but in her heart and mind, she is a woman. Same with Alexa, Cass, Georgie, Emma and Melanie. They all identify as women by gender. And I see them as women. Always have, always will. But biologically, despite hormonal therapy, some surgery and lifestyle changes, they still share the anatomy that we all have in this room, and the same anatomy they share with me when we’re naked in a bedroom.”
“Well, I wouldn’t say you’re gay, mate. You don’t sleep with men. I know you’ve done a lot of reading on trans issues, but what about sexuality?” Chris wondered.
“Well, there’s quite a few different sexualities nowadays,” Mike added, “I mean, back in the day, there was straight, gay or bisexual. But there’s all sort of other different sexualities nowadays. The gist of the matter seems to be dealing with the fact you enjoy being the bottom?”
“Well, yeah. When I’m with Cindy, I’m generally the top with her. And while we haven’t really talked about her going under the knife regarding lopping off her girlcock since the early days of our relationship, as we’ll discuss it when she comes to a decision, if or when she does decide to go through with it, she’ll have my support, and after her surgery, she will have female anatomy. The only thing that will separate her from bio-women is the fact she can’t give birth.
The thing is, when I’m with all her friends, I’ll admit, I’ve been the bottom quite a bit. And… Well, I really fucking enjoy it. I absolutely adore Alexa. And going back to what I said about expectations, everyone expects monogamy from people. I’m left thinking Cindy can handle me sleeping with others, and she’ll join in with us because she loves her friends.”
“But you’re not sure?” Mike pressed.
“It’s not that I’m unsure. I’ve just been told by everyone since I started dating that I should only be with one person at a time. And, let’s be honest, most open relationships fail for various reasons, while poly relationships are still not understood and thought to be weird, or just a kink for certain people.”
My two friends shared a glance. “Well, regarding your sexuality, you’re not bisexual, as you don’t sleep with men. You sleep with transwoman. Being the bottom or not, they identify as women. This is why sex, gender and identity is a minefield for everyone and the subject has to be treated with care whenever it’s discussed. It’s still a relatively new phenomenon, at least in the terms of it being in the public eye.” Mike stopped, took a sip of his coffee, before finally shrugging his shoulders. “Mate, I simply don’t know.”
“Pansexual,” Chris finally stated, “Seems to be a new term I’ve seen about online that is being used by some people.”
“What does that mean?” I had to ask.
Chris pulled out his phone and finally showered me the screen. Not limited in sexual choice with regard to biological sex, gender, or gender identity. Pansexuals may refer to themselves as being gender-blind.
“Hmmm. While it might fit, I do still view gender as neither of you interest me. I’m not physically attracted to men, but I have six transgender women in my life who I absolutely fucking adore, and one I want to marry as soon as I can.”
“As I said, it’s a minefield,” Mike stated, “I’m a gay man, I’m attracted to men and it’s simple as that. It’s probably the same for straight people, they’re attracted to the opposite sex at the biological level. Now that you’re involved in trans issues, I think this is where people do end up being confused. Cindy, Alexa and the rest identify as women, and that’s what is most important. You see them as women, which is how it should be. Honestly, I wouldn’t worry about too much else.”
“And if you like to bottom, fuck what anyone else thinks,” Chris added, “You do you, mate, and just enjoy your life.”
“What does Megan think about all of this?” Mike wondered.
“Well, she’s still in love with me though that might change with Caroline now in the picture.” My friends grinned as I was happy to admit that. “But she’s seen me on the receiving end from Cindy. She admitted to complete respect and admiration for doing it.”
“I still remember when Megan was the bitch and you hated the ground she walked on,” Mike exclaimed, chuckling to himself.
“There’s a lot of water under the bridge. I won’t feel the same way I did about her for the time we were dating and then most of our marriage, but I didn’t mind being intimate with her again, and I have a feeling she’s like it to happen again. Part of me would like it to as our sex life, for the most part, was always fantastic. I know Caroline would like to invite Cindy and myself into her bedroom.”
“Would Cindy agree?” Chris wondered.
“Probably. We’re both open-minded about these things at the moment. We’ve talked about how things might change when I pop the question then when we’re married.”
Mike looked thoughtful. “You know what, I reckon she might want to have the surgery before you get married. She’ll want to walk down the aisle as a woman, if you know what I mean.”
“It’s possible,” I admitted, “But it’s not something we’ve discussed all that much. She’s happy with her life at the moment, and it doesn’t seem like a topic I can approach to her about. It’s something she needs to think about then tell me. Whatever her decision, she’ll have my support.”
I left work earlier than normal to go looking for engagement rings. I had a vague idea of what I wanted to get. I’d also asked Cindy what she wanted, no surprise that all she wanted was a ring. If it had a diamond, even better, but she didn’t want me breaking the bank for her. What mattered was the proposal itself and the fact I wanted to spend my life with her.