I blew out a breath as I glanced out the window, and down the road, anxious. We just finished having dinner, and Cora was helping Finn with his homework. It was a little past eight, but I was still holding out hope that Max would show up. I’d sent him two texts already, asking if he could still make it, and although he didn’t reply to them, the two arrows signified that he’d seen it.
I’d have preferred it if he’d just called, and we discuss things on phone. But this situation required a physical meeting. At least, I thought it did.
I was almost half-dozing when I heard the sound of a car pulling up just outside the fence, close to the gate. I peered out the window, relieved to see the familiar Aston Martini.
He made it!
I couldn’t even find the right words to express my relief. As well as the sudden spike in adrenaline. Fuck.
I quickly ran into the kitchen and tapped Cora’s shoulder hastily. She whipped her head from Finn’s book to me and I leaned down to whisper in her ear.
“He’s here.”
Her eyes widened and she bit her bottom lip. “Shit. What great timing.”
“Stay put,” I sighed, sauntering back to the living room and peering through the curtains once more. Oh, fudge, there was no proof that he was coming in. He just sat back in his car with an arm over his eyes, probably sleeping, or thinking.
Fuck. What should I do?
I clenched and unclenched my fist, which was a calming mechanism I often adopted to help me tone down my emotions. To my shock and surprise, he climbed out of the car and slammed the door hard, his face contorted into a mix of anger and wariness. Before I knew it, I’d opened the door already and he was standing in the huge foyer.
I managed to meet his eyes, and the second our gazes locked, regret knocked my lights out like a freight train crash.
He frowned, his eyes red and watery with unshed tears. “I need to hear the truth. Is he mine?”
I nodded, tears filling my eyes. I allowed them to roll down my cheeks. “Yes. He’s yours.”
He stared at me like I’d grown a second hair. I tugged at his sleeve. “It’s all my fault, Max. I should’ve told you sooner. We really need to talk. I mean, sit down and talk not while standing.”
“I don’t want to speak to you.”
My nerves turned rigid when I heard Finn’s footsteps so close behind me, Cora hot at his heels. “Mommy, Mommy. I don’t think Aunt Cora got this sum correctly. Can you please recheck it for me?”
I beamed down at him, ruffling his hair. Behind me, Max’s face had gone white like a ghost’s, his eyes almost popping out of their sockets.
Their resemblance was uncanny. The same lustrous blonde hair. Same big blue eyes. Same high-arched gold brows and pink full lips.
I gave Cora a signal to give us some privacy and she readily obliged. Wrapping an arm around Finn’s shoulder, I pulled him forward. “Finn, sweetie. I’d like you to meet an uncle.”
His blue eyes turned bright as he beamed up at Max.
“This is Uncle Max.”
“Oh. Good evening, Uncle Max. How are you?” Finn chirped, taking Max’s large hand in his for a handshake. Max fought back tears as he stared at Finn brokenly. I didn’t know if he’d ever forgive me for this someday, and even if he eventually let go, I didn’t think I could forgive myself that easily.
“I’m… good. You’re a very handsome boy.”
“Thanks for the compliment, Sir.”
The atmosphere around us was so charged with tension that I almost collapsed on the floor. The kitchen door slammed shut again and we both turned to see Cora clicking her car keys. “Finn told me he’d like to go to Ma’s for a while. I can take him there.”
“Oh,” I turned my eyes to Max, but he seemed distracted, still shocked.
“Hey, there, Max,” Cora waved, her eyes sympathetic.
“Hey,” he said emotionlessly as though he was being controlled. He didn’t even look up at her.
“Be a good boy for Mommy, okay?” I said as I kissed Finn’s cheeks before he strode out of the house with Cora. They drove away silently, and I tugged Max into the kitchen.
“Let’s talk in here,” I set some coffee on fire for us and plopped down on a kitchenette stool across from him.
“Go on,” he mumbled coldly. “Tell me everything. The whole truth. Leave nothing out of it.”
I shook my head, despair surging in my veins. “That’s the problem. It’s a long, complicated story, and I don’t even know where to start from.”
“Oh, I’ll help you with that. The very beginning,” he snapped.
I flinched at his harsh tone. “Don’t be so upset. This is hard for me as much as it is for you as well.”
“Hard for you?” he asked incredulously. “How on earth can the truth be so hard for you to say? Why do you always insist on telling me lies? Why are you such a chronic liar?!” he banged his fist against the table.
“I didn’t know how you’d take the news. After we met again, I just wanted to lay low and face my job, which was why I lied in the paperwork. Which was why I even moved to New York in the first place. A fresh start. You weren’t meant to be the equation. You were trouble.”
“I can’t fucking believe you right now,” he shook his head in disappointment.
“We can’t revisit the past anymore, Max. Let’s look forward to the future. The future of our son.”
He held my gaze.
“What was I supposed to do? I knew that once you find out that I had a son, you’d lose all interest, without even getting to know me quite well. You’d see me as a gold digger who turned up with your child,” I scrunched up my face, the tears falling faster. “You’d hate me and take him away. The law would be in your favor if I take you to court. I love you so much for that, Max.”
“No,” he howled, wagging a finger at me. “No, you don’t love me. You don’t even know what love is if you had the heart to treat me like this. You don’t fucking love me, you whore!”
“That’s not true, Maxy,” I cried. “You know I love you. I never lied or faked my feelings, that I can assure you.”
“Stop talking altogether! He’s not my son. He can never be. I remember everything quite well. I wore a condom. So, this trick of yours won’t work.”
“Yes, you did,” I sniffled. “But not all rounds. I can swear that you fucked me raw at least five times that night. Remember we had marathon sex.”
“God,” he exhaled.
“Do you know…” I whispered quietly, “… do you know the stigma I’ve had to live with for five years? The lingering, mocking stares each time I show up at important events in his school alone without a man by my side? Do you? He couldn’t even bear your name because of the lie you told me that night. I didn’t even know anything about you and my parents… my parents disowned me for carelessly getting pregnant for a man I didn’t know.”
He swallowed the lump in his throat, unable to look at me.
“Max, I didn’t want to tell you about him because I discovered a different kind of man in you. The kind-hearted, loving young man of my dreams whom I fell in love with. Believe me, these two weeks we’ve spent together are the best days of my life.”
“Oh, please,” he growled.
“He’s all there is to us right now. Let’s be model parents.”
He hung his head. “I’m sorry but I can’t do this. I can’t be a father.”
“It’s not a choice. You have to.”
He squared his jaw. “You can’t force me.”
“Yes, I can. Finn has been without a father long enough. You’re going to let go of whatever happened and be a good parent to him.”
“Go fuck yourself!”
“It’s time to step up to your responsibilities, Max. It’s time to be mature.”
He scoffed. “I regret the day I met you. You’re. So. Fucking. Pathetic.”
His words rang deep. “I bless the day I met you. I fell in love with the man of my dreams.”
With one last look of disgust, he stormed out of the house, slamming the door hard. I fell to my knees in the kitchen, the ache in my chest too much to bear. Too much that I couldn’t even breathe well.
I heard the car rev up outside and screech off, down the road.
There was no going back from here. It was over.