I sighed in contentment as Max, and I walk down the aisle of the plane to our seats. It was Tuesday already, so we were headed back to New York. Upon my request, Max had worked things out with the plane officials to let me stay close to the window so I could look down as our plane coursed through the white clouds, the cities below looking like little dollhouses. But something told me that Max was up to something, judging by the mischievous glint in his eyes.
I was right.
Before I could have the chance to sit, I gasped when he carried me, laughing as he plopped down to sit with me on his lap. Butterflies flutter in my stomach and my heart felt as though it was about to burst out from my chest. “What are you doing?” I asked, giggling while glancing around cautiously. First class passengers weren’t normally much, so there were some empty seats, but still. “You know we could get into trouble if a flight attendant sees us this way, baby.”
“Who made up that rule?” he snorted, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, his eyes trained on my lips. “Relax, princess. This is first class. We can do as we please. There are no rules in this place because we paid a lot of money.”
I didn’t bother arguing. He was a hundred percent right. Smiling cheekily as I pecked his lips softly, I curled into him, his warm arms coming around me before he kissed my forehead.
“Good girl.”
I smiled against his chest, snuggling into him. I couldn’t get enough of his minty fresh cologne. It calmed my senses and made him smell like home. Quite absurd, I know.
These seven days away from New York in Manhattan with him were my best days. Aside from the day I gave birth to Finn, that is. We visited places, laughed, and rutted like hormonal teenagers who were just starting to figure out the thrill sex gave. Nights were spent lounging at the bar, talking till it was dawn. There was always something new to learn about him. Something positive to unearth. And with each word and romantic gesture that came from him, I was slowly letting off that cliff into the pool of love.
Having him so close completed me in ways I never thought possible. I was both glad and sad to be falling for him at the same time. He was like a drug I couldn’t stop getting addicted to as much as I tried, and frankly, I feared I might give up on air if he stopped loving me in this beautiful, unconditional way. I knew I was putting myself through a lot of future pain, getting attached to him like this but I had little or no say in what the universe wanted for us. The longer I kept things away, the longer it would be hard to let him go when he finally figured out the truth.
But until that time came, I planned to enjoy these moments, as soothing and beautiful as they came.
“Thanks for a lovely week, Max,” I murmured, glancing up at him.
He beamed, kissing the side of my face. “Thank you too, Elaine. For coming on this trip with me. It was such a great time, and I don’t want it to end. Are you sure we can’t switch up our names to Rico and Aliko, move to Mexico, and put up with a grumpy old man named Nico where we’d get married and live happily ever after?”
Damn.
I chuckled, loving the way his brain worked. His humor was always top-notch. “You know that’s not possible, hun. We’ve escaped two days at work already. Let’s see if we can squeeze in any more trips to Manhattan again in the future.”
“I’m holding on to your words, then. There’ll definitely be a lot more trips and more fun than this panned out for the both of us.”
I nodded, resting my head back on his chest as hot tears rolled off my eyes. God, I felt like such a devil giving him so much hope. There wouldn’t be a next time because he’d hate me by then. He’d want nothing at all to do with me and I couldn’t emphasize how much that sucked.
Still teary-eyed, listening to the drone of the plane engine, and staring out the windows at the fluffy white clouds that looked like marshmallows, the warmth and minty cologne from Max’s body lulled me into a dreamless slumber.
First-class travels were definitely the ultimate flying experience.
–
We got to the mansion at exactly twelve forty. Margaret was waiting out front to help us with our bags, a warm smile on her face. I mumbled a weak answer when she greeted me, my joints aching. I was tired and worn out, after taking too many shots last night. And the night before. And the night before the night before. It was all Max’s fault. He was a horrible company. But for once, today his eyes were tired and drowsy.
“Good afternoon, Mr. Sturm. Welcome back.” Margaret said.
Max managed a small smile, offering to carry the bags up to his bedroom. She insisted that she could handle it, following closely behind as we walked up the granite stairs that led to the house. I held out my hand to stop Max from going in after he’d pushed the door open
“What’s wrong, baby?” he frowned.
“I need to go home, sweetheart. I don’t even think I can make it to the office today anymore. I need to get some more sleep to rid myself of this terrible hangover before tomorrow morning,” I yawned, stretching my arms.
His eyes softened. “I wanted you to stay.”
“I would have loved that, but I didn’t bring my clothes for work. I haven’t worked on the projects you asked me to critique. I hope to do them all today after a long nap.”
“I’m going to go get you some new dresses or you can wear the one you wore on Thursday. Please don’t go,” he tucked a strand of hair behind my left ear, brushing his heavenly lips against mine. “Stay with me, Elaine.”
I sighed against him, knowing that he’d won this round once more. I couldn’t just bring myself to say no to him. Plus, I hadn’t seen my son for days and I missed him. I knew I couldn’t let the truth about Finn go past today, but I felt trapped by Max being all romantic and shit. What was wrong with me?
“Fine,” I concurred half-heartedly. “But don’t complain if you eventually get sick of having me around.”
“I can assure you, that day will never come,” he said confidently, flicking the living room lights on. “It’s good to be home. With you. Now, why don’t you go upstairs and rest while I whip up a snack and a little bit of caffeine to help cure your hangover?”
I yawned once more as he pushed me toward the staircase. “Sounds like a plan. But I really wanted to help you.”
“Don’t insult me,” he smacked my bum hard, and I yelped, turning to glare at him. “Get that ass freshened and ready for Daddy.”
“No,” I emphasized, pointing at him. “We are NOT having sex tonight, you freak.”
“I’m not going to argue with that,” his lips curled up into a mischievous smirk. “I do love a good challenge every once in a while.”
“You wouldn’t want me to bite off your dick now, would you?” I snorted as I padded up the stairs. He laughed, pausing at the kitchen doorway.
“I’d love to see you try, princess. None of us would get pleasured if that happened, and you know how much you love me deep in you.”
I flushed scarlet. Ugh. He’s so right. “Dirty boy,” I murmured.
“Dirty girl,” he winked, disappearing into the kitchen.
I trudged down the long hallway that led to Max’s room, overwhelmed by the weight of our suitcases. Inside the room, I tossed the boxes aside and took a good look at the huge, luxurious master bedroom before me. It was the first time I had the chance to really look around. I couldn’t imagine waking up in such a grand place as this. From the thirty-foot white ceiling to the blue plush carpet that was so plush, my toes sank the minute I stepped in, I couldn’t praise his interior decorator enough. Whoever did this had done a tremendous job. I was beyond impressed.
He had everything. Money, looks, a big house.
But no wife. Or girlfriend.
A wave of sadness enveloped me as I thought back to that night we met. What if he’d found me after that disastrous night and I’d listened to his apology? Would he have married me then? Would things be different if that happened from how they are now?
I stripped off my clothes and dragged my feet into the bathroom, feeling so dejected. Partly from the exhaustion of having to fly for four hours straight, and also partly from the dread of all I stood to lose after I’d told him the truth. It felt like I was carrying a burden. A heavy lead on my back kept me from moving forward.
No matter how much I tried, I couldn’t live in the happy moments because they weren’t true on my part. I considered rushing down the stairs and throwing myself on the floor at his feet, begging him to accept Finn and for the three of us to start living like a happy family. I didn’t know how long I stayed, lost in my thoughts but I peeked up in fright when I felt strong, loving arms around my waist, grinning when the smell of his familiar minty cologne hit my nose.
He let go of me to pour some shampoo into his palms, and began to soap up my body carefully, his fingers fierce against the hollows of my aching joints. I winced, and he kissed my forehead reassuringly. “It’ll be okay. It won’t much any longer.”
He was wrong. This ache in my heart would hurt a lot as long as he was still in the dark. As long as I still pretended to be who I was not.
There was a lot at stake here. I’d never felt so out of control in my entire life.