No matter how many times I see Manhattan at night, it looked more beautiful than the last. When I newly moved to this city from New Zealand where my family was, there was never a night that went by for the next year that I wasn’t out strolling and checking out all the fun bars and people. I felt freer than I ever was, but I was still a tad bit uncertain about what the future held because I had no friends, and my family was not with me.
When I sighted Cora and the girls the first time sitting across from me in a then trendy new pub downtown, I was intimidated. Everything from their appearance to their manner of speech and the guys that were hanging out with them screamed wealth. They were the sole center of attention, and I was left feeling so self-conscious and envious. I thought I didn’t belong there. Knew I didn’t belong to this town. But then Cora held up her hand and signaled me to come to sit with them. Mortified, I turned down their offer at first, insisting that I was okay with where I was seated, but they weren’t having any of it. They practically ditched their guys – boyfriends and came to sit where I was.
Whenever I asked them what drew them to me, they just laughed and assured me that it wasn’t pitying, as I was thinking. They just loved me at first glance. I didn’t know if that’s how friendships are meant to be born but with time our bonds grew, and after my first boyfriend’s stupid move that wrecked me for months, they urged me to come live with them in their flat. We all split the rent and existed as one big happy family.
I sighed, resting my head against the window beside Max as the cab meandered through the dark streets toward a hotel. Manhattan could get wary at night, but that was what made it all the more fun. Max wrapped an arm around my lower back and pulled me closer to him, so I rested my head on his chest instead.
“What are you thinking?” he whispered, his soft fingers stroking each, his voice husky and low. I heaved a sigh and squeezed his hand on my shoulder.
“Nothing much,” I whispered back. “It just feels… nostalgic to be back here. I’ve been away for two months.”
“Why? What made you decide to move to New York? I thought your friends were here?”
“Yeah. But they were away most of the time, so it was always just me in the flat alone. I lost my editing job, and it was hectic to try and find another one. Then I knew I had to move.”
It was partially true. There was no way I was going to get a good editing job as good as the last one I lost. And I also needed a career boost, as well as a breather to process my reality as a jobless single mom. New Zealand was out of the equation. Returning home would make my failure to myself and my family more apparent, so New York seemed to be the only reasonable way out.
“Well, I’m glad you did,” he kissed my forehead softly. I would’ve never met you again, and that is dreadful to even think about. You complete me.”
I practically try to blink back the tears threatening to fall. Those were words that didn’t belong to me. He’d hate me soon enough. When I tell him the truth. When I become someone’s mom, instead of the Elaine he knew.
“I don’t want to sound like that guy, but my family would love to meet you. And my friends as well, though you’ve met them.”
“Max, I think you’ve forgotten that our relationship is a secret,” I straightened to peer into my face in the cab’s dimness. “I don’t want them to take… this that’s happening between us the wrong way.”
He furrowed his brows with a frown. “How do you mean?”
I bit my bottom lip. “They might think that we’re dating… and that’s a perfect, beautiful way to look at this relationship, but I don’t think we’re… there yet. We’re just getting to know each other.”
“I thought we were past that already, Cherry?” his frown deepened. “What have we been doing since the week started? Getting to know each other.”
I shook my head sympathetically. “I know you’re enthusiastic but getting to know each other takes more than a few dates and hookups. It’s deeper than that.”
“Exactly,” he held my gaze. “Which is why I’m proposing you meet my family and friends sooner enough and I meet yours. I bet you know that’s part of getting to know each other and it’s vital.”
It hurts. It hurts for him to be this… sweet and thoughtful. Taking his hand in mine, I brought it to my lips and pressed a kiss against his knuckles. “I don’t want you to think I’m forcing things. I want you to be sure of this… this thing between us.”
He stared at me for a long moment, perhaps processing my words while I wait with bated breath for a response. Maybe he feels disappointed that I was screaming my pants off in excitement at getting to meet his family. Crap. He probably expected a much better reaction from me, and I went right ahead and blew it off.
“I am sure about this, Elaine,” the raw sincerity in his eyes and voice reminds me of the need to tell him about Finn. Now. Right, this minute. Right here in this cab, not because he might push open the goddamn door and throw me out in anger afterward. “I want you. You’re perfect for me.”
“I have something -”
He leaned down and captured my lips in a heated kiss, and my brain turned to marshmallows.
Nope. I couldn’t tell him yet.