“Max?”
He’d pulled up on the other side of the street opposite my house, his eyes ahead, still refusing to talk to me. I took a deep breath. “Please ”
“Get out of my car, Elaine.”
I furrowed my brows, not believing my ears. “What?”
“I said get the hell out of my car before I lose my shit with you!” he whipped his blue, furious eyes to me, his nose twitching in anger.
“B-But,” I spluttered, chest aching, “I don’t understand. We just had a beautiful moment.” Had any of it been real? Oh my God, I thought he was only joking when he said the blowjob meant nothing. “Please don’t be mad at me. I’m sorry.”
“You’re sorry?” he exploded. “You canceled our date, saying you’ve got manuscripts and friends to take care of and then I find you in a club with some weirdo? You lied to me! I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since I got back, and I didn’t want to come to your house in search of you because I know how much you love your space. But after what happened today, I don’t think it’s wise to trust your words.”
“If you have thought of nothing else but me, Max then why were you at the club too?” I cried. “Don’t try to act saintly. I know you came here to have sex or meet up with some girl just like I did. Is that how biased and selfish you are?”
His eyes darkened with contempt.
“The only reason I went to that club was because of a misunderstanding. I thought you were the one sexting me with a private account on Facebook, and I was surprised when I confirmed that it wasn’t you. You stepped in at the wrong moment.”
“Swear on your fucking life, Elaine, that you weren’t planning on having sex with that dog.” He yelled.
“What?” I crumpled my face in disappointment, the tears falling even harder than before. “How can you say such a thing? Is that how cheap you think I am? Do you think I sleep with every guy I come in contact with?”
“But you just said it yourself that you’ve been sexting him all week,” his eyes narrowed. “Or I didn’t hear you right? You sexted with a stranger because you thought that it was me? Ha. How old do you think I am? Twelve?”
Jeez.
I clenched my fist and twisted the door handle, stepping out. “You know what? Fuck you. You don’t know two shits about me. And just so you know? You’ve lost me forever.”
I slammed the door so hard, that it rattled deep into the still night. Without a glance back, I crossed the road over to the other side, pushing the gate open. Ma unlocked the door before I even reached the porch, her old, wrinkly face breaking into a smile. “Good evening, Miss. Matthews. Welcome back.”
“Thank you,” I pulled off my shoes and walked in past her, noting how silent the entire house was. “Is Cora not back yet? Where is Finn?”
“Miss Stephens called to say that she’d be coming over in the morning. I’ve already tucked Finn in for the night. He insisted that I read to him before he slept.”
“It’s a tradition,” I forced a chuckle as I fished inside my purse for a twenty dollar, handing it over to her. She hesitated before taking the money from me.
“B-But my bill is ten…”
“I doubled it because you honestly have no idea how much of a lifesaver you were tonight,” I pulled her into a hug. She reminded me so much of my Mom. “Thanks for watching over my boy for me. Give me your number in case I have any other emergency some other time.”
We exchanged contacts and I sunk onto the living room couch after she left, my thoughts all over the place. Apart from the stellar lap dance and intimate moments in Max’s car, it was one of, if not the worst nights of my entire life. Why did he show up tonight, and at Dreams of all places? In a way, I understood his hurt. I’d picked Sky over him. But he’d hurt me by judging me, as though I was some sort of whore. He had no right to say that.
“Fuck,” I rubbed my sore temples, too full of resentment and anger to even see straight.
I’d been too quick to believe his words on Monday. If there was one thing Max fucking Sturm was great at, it was telling lies. The chances of the two of us ending up together were very slim because he was never honest with me, but he expected that from me. He’d once again proven that men were selfish, and old habits never die. Once a player, always a player.
A little before five, I stirred the soft, fluorescent lights hurting my eyes as I sat up straight. I was still in the clothes I’d worn to go out last night and I gasped, startled to see Cora sitting beside me, her back hunched forward.
“Elaine…” her voice cracked as she tried to wipe the tears on her face. She sniffled, and forced a smile, eyes swollen. “You’re awake.”
I frowned. “What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
“It’s nothing,” she avoided my eyes. “I was just ”
“Come on, now. Don’t lie.”
“Father fell down the stairs last night. He got a stroke as a result.”
I slapped a hand over my mouth, stunned. “Oh my god. I’m so sorry.”
She nodded, unable to speak coherently through her tears. I wrapped my arms around her in comfort, holding her as the sobs escaped her. “Where is he now?”
“Mother took him to the hospital the minute she found him unconscious at the bottom of the stairs. He’s also got some heart palpitations and the chances of him walking again are slim. It’s so painful to think about.”
“I understand,” I patted her hair. “I think you need to go and see him. He’d love to see you.”
“What about you? What would you do with Finn? Would you have Ma babysit him until I get back?”
I mentally calculated the cost and decided against it. Besides, every little penny that came my way was stacked up to help me fund Finn’s education. I couldn’t afford Ma for the duration Cora would be away. “No. it’ll be too expensive. I’ll think of something.”
“W-What if,” she sniffled. “What if he doesn’t make it? What if he dies, Elaine?”
“Hey, hey,” I pressed a thin finger against her lips. “Be positive. Nothing is gonna happen to him. He’s gonna be discharged soon and he’ll be home, stronger than ever.”
“I hope so.”
I rested her head on a plush pillow and picked up my phone to help her search for an airline ticket online. “We’re in luck. There’s one here for this morning at nine. It’s scarcely five hours from now so we should start getting your stuff ready.”
She nodded, and in a few minutes fell into an exhausted slumber on the sofa. I sat quietly, watching her while I tried to think about the way forward for me and my life.
I’d lost Max. Heck, I didn’t want anything else to do with him. And the thought of that, all the hurtful things he’d said to me made my heart ache.
I couldn’t afford a babysitter, and I couldn’t request to get off work earlier to pick Finn up from school.
I sighed, sinking deeper onto the sofa as I contemplated my options. I needed to call Max and request a day off to sort out what I’d do with Finn. I knew it could seem to Max that I didn’t want to come to work because of what happened between the both of us, but at this point, I didn’t care.
Ugh. Timing had never sucked so badly.
What the hell would I say?
Oh, I won’t be coming to work today because I have no one to pick up and look after a child that doesn’t exist.
It was so depressing.
I sighed heavily, running my fingers through my hair.
When Cora finally woke up, it was a little after seven. She rubbed her forehead, stretched, and yawned. “Good morning.”
“Morning, sweetheart,” I grunted. “Feel better?”
She nodded, managing a small smile. “Thank you so much.”
“You’re welcome. We barely have any more time. Let’s go up and get you packed up.”
“Have you figured out Finn’s arrangement after school?”
I groaned, feeling like a failure. “No. I think I’m stuck. I have no valid options left.”
“What about your mother?”
I perked up, frowning. “Mother?”
She nodded. “Why don’t you ring her up and plead with her so she could come down here and stay for a week or two before I get back?”
I exhaled softly. I wanted to tell her about what happened between Max and me but it didn’t seem like the right time. “I don’t know, Cora. It’s been long since I spoke with Mom.”
She picked up my phone from the table and pushed it into my palms. “Don’t be such a baby. Give her a call. The least she can say is no. but I doubt she’d do that. She probably Finn and would be eager to visit.”
“Thank you.”
“Anytime. While you’re at it, I’m gonna go pack. See you later.” She stood and disappeared up the stairs, her steps light and cautious so wouldn’t wake Finn up. I stared at my phone for a moment, bracing myself for what I was about to do. My relationship with Mom…had suffered greatly after I’d gotten pregnant out of wedlock. She felt as though I had forsaken all her good upbringing over the years and tried to convince me to abort the baby. When I finally had Finn and she tried to correct her mistakes by being a model grandmother, I kept her away from him. I couldn’t forgive her just yet.
I thought that with time, that natural bond between the both of us would come back together. And now, after five years of barely calling and texting, I realized that it’d gotten even more strained. I wasn’t ready to let her back into my life.
Placing the phone back on the table, I went upstairs to shower. Underneath the cold water, I allowed my emotions to overwhelm me, letting it all out. Max’s beautiful blue eyes dark with disgust kept appearing in my mind. I felt like such a stuck-up.
What if things hadn’t happened the way they did?
What if he found me after that night at the club? He’d know about Finn, and would probably accept him. I knew he would accept the baby then but now? Oh, God.
I’d lost him. Forever.