84

Anatoli
It seems like I only closed my eyes for a moment before my phone rings and I wake up to bright sunlight beaming through the window.
Avrora is still out cold on my chest. When I slide her off me and onto the pillow, she doesn’t stir.
I grab my phone, answering straightaway when I see it’s Leif calling.
I pray he tells me they found Uther.
“Hey,” I greet him.
“Morning, are you up?”
“I am now. What’s going on?”
He pauses for a moment and then sighs. “It’s your father. He’s just woken up and is asking for you.”
——————-
When I walk through the hospital doors, I don’t know if I should walk fast or slow. Or just turn back and go home.
I don’t even know how the fuck my father knows I’m here.
Or alive.
To him, I should be dead and no longer a concern of his. How did he suddenly wake up from a five-month coma we were told he wouldn’t make it back from?
And ask for me? Me, of all the people.
What about fucking Mikhail? His fucking beloved. Or my other brothers. Surely, he wants to see them, too. Maybe they’re already here.
With every step I take, I ask myself what I’m actually doing.
What kind of fool am I to want to see the man who ordered my death and had my mother killed?
But that’s just it-I do want to see him.
Months ago, when I was here, it was different. Talking to someone asleep is not the same as when they’re awake and they can see all that you want them to.
I guess I have today to do that. I’m just not sure it will go the way I think.
I’m meeting Leif here; we’re going to see my old man together. That’s what Leif decided.
I take the elevator up to the floor my father’s room is on, and when I step out, I see Leif ahead waiting by the room door.
He sees me, too, and meets me halfway.
Worry taints his face, but he still rests his hand on my shoulder for his usual greeting.
“You okay?” he asks.
“I don’t know. How did he know about me?”
“The doctors explained that you can hear what’s going on when you’re in a coma. You just can’t wake up. Someone must have told him about you. Or maybe it was you.”
Maybe it was me. “I don’t know what to expect or if I should be doing this.”
“Me neither, but when I got the call, I realized this is something you might regret if you didn’t do it. The doctors said he’s very weak and it’s nothing short of a miracle that he’s awake. And alive. The others are on their way, but he’s asking for you.”
I grit my teeth. “Alright. Let’s do this. Let’s go see him. Maybe he really wanted to see for himself if I was alive. I can face him and let him see he didn’t win.”
“Spoken like a true Viking. Let’s go.”
We walk toward the room, and Leif opens the door.
Numbness fills me when my gaze falls on my old man in the bed staring back at me.
He’s slightly propped up on his pillows and is still attached to a multitude of tubes, but he’s awake, and we see each other.
Leif takes the lead, walking ahead of me like I still need protection, like I’m still the helpless boy he rescued from the fire that should have killed me.
My father keeps his eyes on me the whole time, and there’s a sad look in his eyes that doesn’t quite fit the situation.
“Evgeni, you are awake,” Leif states boldly.
“The life is draining from my body.” He sounds weak and like his voice is hanging on to the edge of the wind. And he’s still looking at me while talking to Leif.
I wonder if he’s taking in our striking resemblance the way I did weeks ago. Seeing him awake now makes me do it again, and I almost think I’m looking at the older version of myself in about thirty years from now.
“Maybe you should rest.” Leif sounds tense, like when he’s doing something he really doesn’t want to do.
“No.” My father lifts his hand, and the heart monitor spikes. “I fear I haven’t got much time left, and I need to speak to my son.”
Leif looks at me, but I keep my eyes on the old man.
“Why do you want to speak to me, Father?” I can’t keep the angst out of my voice.
“It’s amazing. I could be looking at myself.” Something that looks like pain fills his eyes.
“I’m sure that’s not what you wanted to tell me.”
“No. I heard you. It could have been a lifetime ago, or maybe it was last week. I don’t know. You were here, talking to me and I heard you. Since then, I fought to come back so I could look upon you and make sure you knew the truth before I left this world.”
“You know the truth,” Leif cuts in, showing his rage.
“Brother, look me in the eye and tell me you believe I tried to kill this boy and his mother.”
His comment throws me off kilter and I give him a narrowed stare.
“I do not care what your eyes tell me,” Leif snaps, looking like he might rip my father to shreds. “Truth is truth. You sent your men to kill Fryeda and Anatoli.”
“I did not,” he replies, and that numbness I felt previously returns tenfold. It increases when he returns his gaze to mine and intensifies his stare.
“You deny it?” I challenge.
“I don’t have to deny anything, because I am not guilty.”
What the hell is going on here? This is not the conversation I thought I’d have with him. “You expect me to believe that?”
Determination shines through his eyes. “I am on my death bed, and I have no reason to lie. It won’t serve me in this life or the next to tell you anything other than the truth. The truth is I would never have hurt either of you. I was told you died in a fire. Uther Galitze gave me evidence of both your deaths. He said it was an explosion. I flew back to Russia myself because I needed to see. All these long years, that’s what I believed.” He looks back at Leif now. “And you kept the truth from me.”
“Fryeda told me your men were hunting her and her son. They actually said you sent them.” Leif raises a fist. “She was getting ready to meet you when your men attacked her at home. She barely managed to get away and call me for help. There was no way I would have told you I rescued Anatoli when I believed you wanted them dead.”
“It was not me, brother. You knew how much I loved that woman. I would have loved my child the same way.” My father’s voice is more forceful, but it looks like the energy it took for him to speak has drained him immensely. I’m drained, too, for hearing him because it looks like he was set up. “I swear it on what remains of my life. I would never do that, but someone did.”
Holy. Fucking. Hell.
This is Uther’s doing. Fucking Uther again. And this must have been part of the Mark’s plan, too-to set my father up.
But why? I’m missing something.
Something key. Something which, once again, fucking Uther will know.
He was the harbinger of death and had to make sure all of this happened.
My father looks at me again and reaches for my hand. My stubbornness keeps me rooted to the spot, confused by the years of hatred, but that compassion Ehlga taught me touches the human parts of me, and I move to him seeing nothing but truth engraved in his face.
His hands feel so cold when they touch mine, but there’s a warmth in his eyes now, just for touching me.
“When your mother told me about you, I wanted to meet you.” His voice sounds even weaker now. “We were going to meet that night at the park. I waited for hours, but she never came. I feel like I’m still waiting, but I finally got to meet you, Ale… ssio. I was finally going to do what I wanted and marry the woman I loved. That’s what I was going to do.”
“Would you have?” My voice is softer as I imagine what my life would have been like if that happened.
“Yes.” He coughs, and his eyelids look heavy. “I would have. It was what I should have done when my parents forced me to marry a woman I didn’t love and deserved better. Now I love your mother with my last breath, and you the same. Anatoli Scarfoni. I’m glad you took my name.”
His lips move slowly then stop. His hold on my hand loosens, but his eyes still hold me in place, keeping me frozen in time and the deep sentiment of his words. As if we could experience all the years we lost and the life we never had in this moment.
When his heartbeat on the monitors flatlines, I don’t want to look away from him and accept he’s dead.
But he’s gone.