Maria
I’m led through the hallways of Sorokin’s mansion by his elderly butler. I’ve discovered his home isn’t an actual castle made of blocks of carved stone piled sky-high. Only the exterior mimics an ancient stone structure pictured in a history book. The modern interior is constructed of plaster walls and wood floors to look old. But nonetheless, the enormous interior is a maze of rooms and difficult to navigate without help.
I brace myself for whatever waits behind the large double doors we’re quickly approaching. The doors open to reveal a surprisingly cheerful conservatory, and I hear laughter before I see Sorokin’s guests. The man himself is nowhere in sight, and my shoulders relax. Natasha Chuikov smiles when she spots me and stands, revealing her sleek figure in a navy suit tailored like a man’s.
I nod at her, but my gaze goes straight to the woman sitting beside her, who turns to look at me.
“Maria Zakharovna Budanov,” Natasha introduces us in a direct manner. “This is Paige Geraldovna Barinov.”
Paige Barinov. It takes me a second before the name clicks in my head. She’s the wife of Andrei Barinov. We hid in her inn before we were attacked.
Suddenly, I’m giddy like I’m meeting a pop star and don’t know what to do with my hands. Her presence is completely unexpected, but her warm smile calms my jumpy nerves instantly.
“Hello, Maria,” Paige greets me, extending her hand. “You must be surprised to see us here.”
Surprised doesn’t even begin to describe it, but I take her hand and manage a weak smile. “Pleasure to meet you, Paige Geraldovna.”
“Please, Paige is fine.” She beams when she smiles. “There’s no need for patronymics when it’s just us.”
She is not what I was expecting. Whereas the other Bratva women carry themselves with the icy air of arrogance and self-assuredness. She seems more … down to earth, approachable, and above all, human.
Almost like someone I might see in Holtsville.
Well, maybe a more polished-up version.
Though she’s casually dressed in a sweater and jeans, the sweater is cashmere, and the jeans are high-end. Her brown hair is styled to look casual, and her makeup is subtle. With the exception of the rings on her hand and ears, her jewelry is tastefully understated.
I know I’m staring, but my brain can’t stop my eyes from being rude. Sorokin’s elderly butler returns with a cart loaded down with tiny sandwiches and hot tea. He serves us quickly and then quickly departs. Paige offers me another warm smile. God, it seems so normal.
But deep down, I know the difference is that she can just get up and walk out of here.
“So, Maria,” Paige starts. “Tell me a little bit about yourself.”
“I’m not sure what to say,” I stammer, caught off guard by the sudden attention. Somehow, I sense that she’s not asking to be polite. Paige really wants to know and studies me with an amused look.
When I don’t say anything else, Natasha raises a brow. “She’s a naive girl who thinks she can change the minds of stubborn Bratva men,” she answers for me. “A shy little mouse who has charmed the starving cats.”
I bite my lip, trying not to let her words sting. Paige watches our exchange patiently as if she’s seen this dance many times before.
“In fact, she reminds me of someone else,” Natasha continues, her gaze flicking toward Paige. “A lucky, lucky girl.”
Paige smiles knowingly but remains silent, allowing Natasha to have her fun. I don’t say much either, but I note the impression I make, even if it’s veiled in sarcasm.
“Maybe I am naive,” I admit. “But I have no intention of giving up on Mikhail or the life we could have together.”
“Ah, love.” Natasha chuckles. “It makes us do the craziest things, doesn’t it? Each one of us thinks we are unique until life reminds us that we are all the same.”
“That’s true,” Paige agrees softly. “But sometimes, those crazy risks can lead us to true love, Natasha.”
“I didn’t chase after love.” Natasha laughs, but it’s kinder. “He hunted me down. His shot has gotten better, but he’s still a shitty flirt.”
Paige offers me tea with plenty of honey and encourages me to drink it as Natasha complains about the size of the sandwiches. I try one and can barely get it down because my throat is dry. But I manage it until I have to swallow down my tea to keep from coughing.
“Maria.” Paige’s voice is gentle as she looks at me with concern. “How are you feeling? I mean, with the pregnancy …”
Everyone else in the Bratva has tried to break me, but it’s Paige who somehow manages to succeed.
Her words hit me like a sledgehammer, and then the tears come. To my credit, only a few run down my cheeks as I attempt to speak.
“Physically, I’m fine, but mentally … I don’t know,” I admit. “Everything has been one crisis after another, and I just feel so lost.”
“Love makes us do things we never thought possible,” Natasha interjects, her tone softer now. “And lead to consequences we never can foresee. We’ve been there.”
Paige nods in agreement, reaching to place a comforting hand on mine. “It’s hard to love a pakhan. Because you can never truly stand by his side as his wife until you accept the Bratva as your family.” Her eyes search mine, looking for understanding.
I hesitate. “But what about my other family? I’m part of the Lanzzare Mafia through my mother.”
“But your loyalty belongs to your husband.” Natasha leans forward. “To the Bratva. You may love your relatives, but never forget where your loyalty lies. Once you have Mikhail’s baby, the Bratva will commit to you. And in return, you must commit yourself to us.”
I bite my lip, trying to process the implications of what they’re saying. My love for Mikhail has driven me to make unthinkable choices. People have died because of what I wanted-his love.
“I can’t imagine being so cruel,” I sniff. “I wasn’t raised this way.”
“Neither was I,” replies Paige. “And I can’t say you’ll get used to it because that would be a lie. Like you, I was an outsider who found herself part of the Bratva-at first a prisoner, then a wife, and finally, a mother. Believe me, Maria, I fought against its control over me, until I realized that I was also fighting Andrei.” She pauses and takes a trembling breath. “With a few concessions from both of us, we’ve learned to be happy. I accepted that the Bratva has had a hand in our lives turning out the way it has. And he … Well, there’s a reason why Natasha and her husband Dmitri now head the Barinov Bratva.”
“You got Andrei to retire?” I ask without hiding my eagerness.
“I? No.” Paige frowns slightly. “He decided to retire for our children. If you marry Mikhail with the expectation of turning him away from his role as pakhan …” she shakes her head. “Then all you’ll find is a life of heartbreak and sorrow.”
“And admit it, naive girl,” Natasha smiles secretively. “There’s a part of you that loves the danger.”
I lower my head. Ashamed that she has revealed a thought I didn’t want to admit. The danger does have an appeal. I like it when Mikhail is in charge. I love it when he takes control. And I crave the moments when his piercing eyes flash and he makes me beg.
And after, I don’t ever want it to end when I trace his tattoos while we lie naked in bed as he buries his nose in my hair, whispering dark things against my ear.
I wipe away my tears. “Then I will try.”
“Natasha and I will teach you how to navigate his world, Maria.” Paige smiles. “It won’t be easy, but together, we can help you become the woman Mikhail needs by his side.”
“And Zhanna,” adds Natasha, catching me off guard. “This is why you’re naive, Maria Zakharovna.” She laughs at my startled expression. “But that naivety comes from a good place-a place of love, not stupidity.”
“Zhanna is a masterclass I can’t fail.” My voice is soft as I reconcile the path I’ll take if I get out of here. “After all, I can’t stay here forever.”
The looks they give me aren’t reassuring. And that’s when I realize: there’s a possibility that I may never leave here.
“Well,” Natasha changes the subject. “There is a very nice range here at the estate.” She licks a spot of mustard off her finger, studying me. “Have you ever shot a gun before?”
I shake my head, swallowing thickly. “No, I never have.” The idea of holding a gun, of learning to shoot, terrifies me.
“Let’s change that.” Natasha’s dour tone suddenly becomes light. “A pakhan’s wife should know more than how to kill with her looks.” She looks at Paige, who shakes her head.
“I will pass on the lesson and say my goodbyes here.” Paige hugs me, and I hold onto her. She seems so sweet. Maybe if she could do it, then I can. “Take care, Maria. Remind Radomil that you’re not on a leash.”