Maria
“The night I was shot, I sent a text to my father. I thought I could help by talking to him, but then I changed my mind. I dropped my phone, and when I picked it up …” I stare into Mikhail’s steady gaze. “It’s how I knew you were in trouble. I made an awful mistake. And if anything had happened to you …”
My voice trails off, and he turns his back to me. Be strong, Maria. I stirred the pot, and now, I have to clean up the mess. I concentrate on my breathing to keep myself from breaking down.
Mikhail faces the window. “So that’s why you were there that night.”
I clench my teeth to silence a sound threatening to escape my throat, wondering if I’ve lost Mikhail by sneaking around behind his back. I stare at the tension in his broad shoulders as he stares at the city out the window. My body wants to run to him, but my heart fears what he must think about me. He won’t even look at me.
I can’t take it. “Mikhail, please …”
He turns around, but distress is in his gaze instead of anger. “It wasn’t your fault, Maria. I received a tip on where to find Zakhar. And my intention was to kill him despite the order I had given to my men not to take his life. I thought you were there to stop me.”
I leap up from the couch, and instantly, I’m in Mikhail’s arms. My cheek presses hard against his strong chest. The tears I struggled to hold back are on my face. My strength has been tested too much today.
“I love you, Mikhail. I want my baby to have a father. I want us to be together.” I look up into his loving gaze. “I want us to have a little happiness.” I wrap my arms around his shoulders. “I never thought any of this would happen. I never thought my father would want to hurt me more than he wants to love me.”
Mikhail runs his hand over my hair. “Maria, the stakes are incredibly high. It’s twice now that Zakhar has struck the Bratva so brazenly and gotten away with it.” He lowers his hands and clenches them into fists. “I can’t let Zakhar live, even if he swears to stop and let us live in peace. He cannot be allowed to live. Not anymore. My honor as a pakhan is intertwined with his actions. I must show my strength, and I can’t allow you to step between us again.”
I nod, acknowledging the gravity of the situation.
“But there has to be some part of him that doesn’t want this to continue,” I reply. “I can try and appeal to that. We can’t just forgo that possibility entirely.”
Mikhail’s gaze searches mine, and I see turmoil building into a wall that won’t be breached. He vowed to protect me and keep me safe from danger, but I almost died along with his child. Mikhail grabs my hands by the wrists and pulls them off him.
“Maria,” he says. “Do you think I can’t do this? Because I can.”
I shake my head. “I’ve never doubted that you could.”
“Others will,” he scoffs. “Others already are. You were with me at Sorokin’s. Do you realize what those men must think now?”
The moment separates us with uncertainty. We both know there’s no other solution, and the consequences will worsen if we don’t act severely. I can’t imagine what will happen if those men are involved, and I don’t want to.
I reach for Mikhail as if to shake sense into him. “If there’s even the slightest chance that I can convince him to stop, don’t you think it’s worth trying?”
“He won’t believe you, Maria.” The intensity of Mikhail’s green gaze freezes me. “Zakhar thinks I’ve brainwashed you. He’s not seeing his daughter when he looks at you. He’s seeing a shell of what you used to be.”
“If I spoke to him in person and he physically saw me and saw that I’m not under duress, then maybe I could convince him.”
The rage in Mikhail rises too quickly to the surface for me to stop it. “Zakhar wants to take you away from me!” he shouts. “What will he do when he finds out you’re pregnant?” Mikhail shuts his eyes. “I’ve lost many people, but losing you … losing our child. I won’t! I refuse!”
I can’t answer and slowly back away.
“To do that would admit defeat to the other Bratvas,” he continues. “Maria, my authority has been infringed upon enough. I’m skidding across thin ice, and that’s dangerous for both of us. Dmitri Chuikov already saw one pakhan murdered at a wedding. And after promising him that there won’t be another … Do you know what happens to deposed pakhans?”
I stand motionless, staring at Mikhail, not daring to move. I’m equally curious and terrified of what I might hear.
“A puff of air and the candle goes out,” he says knowingly. “They disappear from existence and are replaced. Their names are scrubbed from history, like the enemies of a pharaoh, chiseled off stone walls. The deal with the other Bratvas hinges on me containing this situation, or else they will step in.
“This is no longer a vendetta, Maria. It’s survival. It’s about keeping you, me, and our child alive.” His anger recedes as he inhales deeply, and it’s back under his control. “I have no intention of losing, and there will be no more second chances for anyone.”
I can only nod, and no words come to my mouth. Mikhail has made his point clear: I will never ask to speak to my father again, and there will be no truce between them.
From the beginning, Mikhail has stated he will protect me, and he has. I know no matter what I want or say, Mikhail will continue to do so. My emotions overwhelm me as I realize how much he loves me. And that love has nothing to do with our baby.
Everything could end, and he’d still love me.
“If that is what is at stake, then I won’t ask again.” I step close and kiss his cheek tenderly. With a raised brow, Mikhail stares at me. Maybe he doesn’t understand, but that kiss is the bravest thing I’ve ever done.
As I leave the office, the weight of our conversation bears down on me. The unresolved tension in the air leaves me with a lingering sense of unease. But there’s no turning back. I must believe in myself and trust Mikhail’s judgment. Someday, my belief in peace will overcome even the most treacherous obstacle-my father, Zakhar.
I enter our bedroom and pull out my sketchbook. I flip through the pages, stopping on a sketch I made of Anton while we sat in the kitchen sharing lunch. Smiling, he looks so alive with joy that nothing could kill. But he’s dead now. And if I don’t harden my heart and let Mikhail do what he has to do, others will end up dead too.