Maria
“Trust,” I say softly, looking up at Mikhail. “Real trust. We could exist without fear of being used against one another if we had it. ”
“Trust is difficult.”
I take a deep breath. “We’re in this together, Mikhail. And trust revolves around us, even if you don’t believe in it.”
He slips the ring out of my grasp and gently places it on my finger above my engagement ring.
I inhale sharply as if the metal has melded into my skin. “Isn’t this bad luck?”
Mikhail chuckles, and I’m glad he’s laughing. “We still have to know if it fits.”
“What if it doesn’t happen?”
His tone changes into something I’ve never heard before. “I know you want to believe that you know the truth, but your father kept many things from you. None of this is your fault.”
“We can stop it now.” I place my hand on his chest, feeling his heartbeat beneath my fingertips. The diamond sparkles and I’m drawn to him again. “You don’t have to do this, Mikhail.”
Mikhail leans down and captures my mouth in a burning kiss. His touch ignites my need, making it impossible to wantanything else I’ve ever thought I wanted. His hands slide around my waist, pulling me closer, my body between his legs as I kneel on the floor. My fingers tangle in his hair and I kiss him harder, desperate to convince Mikhail that he wants me more than revenge.
Mikhail breaks the kiss first and gently pulls the ring off my hand, returning it to the box.
“You will always love your father more than me, Maria. That’s why I can’t trust you.” His finger slides along my chin, lifting my lips to his. But he doesn’t kiss me, and my body tenses. “That look in your eye-like you’ve won me already-is a weapon, and you’ll use that weapon when it suits you. Because it’s the only one you need.”
His mouth kisses me hard as he tugs me tightly against his chest. I lose my breath and break away, falling backward onto the floor. I glare at him as if he’s insane.
“Every time you kiss me,” Mikhail’s smile fixes me in a trance, “you tell a lie, Maria.”
Later, I sit alone in my bedroom, fleeing the living room as soon as Mikhail walks away. I replay that kiss over and over in my mind. The way his lips took mine and the hatred in his gaze as he pushed me away.
“Every time you kiss me, you tell a lie, Maria.”
He told me the truth, and until I admit everything to Mikhail, I am lying to him. Because he’s right; if my dad came through the door, I would run to him. Not for myself but to shield my baby from this horrible life.
Because I know that Dad would protect us without question.
Sitting by the window, I stare at the city skyline. I do make Mikhail feel something. He may not love me, but he feels something. If my dad fails, Mikhail won’t send me away. It’s a terrifying thought, and I can’t picture a happy future.
I cradle my hands over my still-flat stomach, feeling an almost imperceptible beat beneath my fingertips. My heart races at the thought of the baby growing inside me; my child gives me a purpose. I might not have tried so hard. I might not have fought back if it wasn’t for them. I can stand losing Mikhail if I keep my baby.
“Maria?” Dominka’s voice comes from the doorway, and she hesitantly enters the room. “Why are you sitting in the dark?”
“Thinking,” I reply, “about the future.”
She sits down beside me on the floor. “You haven’t told Mikhail, but he will need to know.”
“Mikhail doesn’t trust me.” I stare at her reflection in the glass. “And I can’t trust him.”
I watch as she nods slowly. “You’re right, but if he knew … ”
I cut her off. “He was different tonight,” I whisper. “He wanted to talk to me. When I first came, Mikhail needed someone who would listen. And he didn’t care if I judged. Then he stopped and ghosted me. But tonight, for a moment, I thought …”
Dominika grips my hand. “He does love you, and he will love the baby.”
I shake my head. “I’m not that foolish. I know what he thinks about me. But I also know that sometimes he cares. I only hope Mikhail will care enough to keep me safe.” I look into Dominika’s clear eyes. “I could tell him, yes. But would it change him?”
“I don’t know.” Dominika looks out into the night. “I wish I did, but the truth is I don’t. Not anymore.”
I look outside into the darkness with scattered lights. “And that’s exactly what I’m afraid of.”