Gianna
Something startled me from my slumber, a noise my waking mind forgot almost instantly. The TV across from the bunk blared the Love Boat theme song. Hearing it brought reality crashing into my sleep-addled mind. The cruise ship had a channel that played nothing but the Love Boat. I’d turned it on to distract me but hadn’t meant to fall asleep.
The TV offered the only light in the small cabin. Night had fallen and no moon lit the water outside the open balcony door. The thin mattress on the bunk couldn’t compare the beds on Alexei’s yacht; not the one I slept it or the one we’d almost gone all the way on. And those were some of the thoughts I most wanted to distract myself from.
I clicked the television off, bathing the room in darkness. The lights of the ship around my blacked out room gave a little glow through that open balcony door. Silence reigned except for the distant lapping of water against the hull at least fifty feet below.
Another noise pierced the early morning calm, a clank of metal on metal closer than the waves but coming from outside. I pushed off the bunk and stretched out before padding to my fallen shoes. Once I slipped them back on, I crept to the balcony door.
As wide as the narrow cabin, its edges were floor-to-ceiling dividers to offer the illusion of privacy from the tiny balconies to either side. A waist-high glass barrier topped with a metal bar served as the guard rail, keeping guests from accidentally falling into the sea below.
Outside, the lapping of the water hit my ears louder. Wind whistled around the divider ahead of my, or I guess Ms. De Luca’s balcony. It tossed hair into my face when I leaned over the metal bar.
Faint music played over the wind and water noises, but too quiet to pinpoint. That couldn’t have been the sound that had woken me, or the clank I’d heard a second ago.
I glared up and down the ship, head stretched as far over the railing as possible. In the darkness, there wasn’t much to see. Light from inside reflected off the railings of a few cabins. More light came from the main deck, seemingly lit all throughout the night, but it didn’t carry down to the waterline. A few hints of light color, foam from the boat’s wake, appeared in the abyss of blackness the sea looked like at this hour.
My eyes remained fixed on the water. The longer I stared into it, the more the wake showed. My eyes had adjusted to the lack of light but I couldn’t help but think about the Nietzsche quote. Had the abyss stared back into me?
I closed my eyes but the total darkness gave no support, just another abyss to stare into. Guilt. It rumbled next to the sandwich inside my stomach, food I’d charged to the woman whose identity I’d stolen after I’d framed her for a crime.
Sure, in the few moments I’d spent near the woman, I’d concluded she was a bitch. Everyone liked to think hurting a bad person was better than hurting a nice one. That was one of the reasons so many video games featured Nazis as the bad guys. Plus, I had already decided to compensate the woman. An envelope stuffed with cash would be on its way to her once I got home.
But that cash would come from my father. He’d buy her off if I asked. That’s what he did with problems he couldn’t kill or intimidate away. That’s what he did with me. I’d reimburse her for my sins with my father’s blood money.
This trip. This idiotic unplanned trip had already unearthed a lot of the thoughts I’d have rather left buried. With all that digging, it shouldn’t have surprised me that I’d disturbed the soil of the deepest grave.
It was all Alexei’s fault. He’d swaggered up to my table and turned my world upside down. No, that was unfair to him. Katie had got me thinking about my future married off in a loveless marriage to benefit my father.
Unfair to the man who kidnapped me? I shook my head and tried to bring back the fear and worry that had taken hold of me during the kidnapping. Like those brief feelings themselves, it didn’t stick.
Oh, he was a dangerous man. I saw that in just the way he held himself. In my life, I met dangerous men. I’d lived with my father for 18 years, after all. Before Alexei had spoken, I might have been scared of him, but even during the ‘kidnapping’ I’d known he wouldn’t hurt me. He wasn’t my father.
Even when I’d taken my chance, made my escape, Alexei hadn’t scared me. If he’d have caught up with me before I got on the cruise ship, the only punishment he’d have given me would have been his smug gloating. ‘Look how amazing I am,’ he’d say and puff out his chest, flash a dazzling smirk, ‘I anticipated your moves to recapture you.’
As thrilling as my escape had been, a part of me couldn’t help but wonder where I’d be right now if I hadn’t run from him. His yacht, for sure, by now. We would have fought off those men, I’d have demanded answers. Just the way he’d acted when they’d approached told me he knew why they had called me by my mother’s maiden name.
Would he have shared those answers? Not at first, but I’d get them out of him and more than likely enjoy the process. At this moment, I might have been sleeping on the mammoth bed in his cabin instead of the tiny one in my own cabin.
Maybe I should have stayed put.
Katie had it right. A part of me had more than enjoyed my time with him. If he’d just come up to my table like any other guy, he’d have convinced me to go with him, at least to dinner.
Metal grated against metal somewhere down the ship. I leaned over the railing and gazed that direction. Even acclimated to the dark, nothing appeared. Probably just someone accidentally scraping a ring across the guard rail of their balcony.
Four firm knocks to my cabin door sent me flinching. Had I been leaning a little further over the edge, I’d have fallen into the dark sea, the abyss. When I righted myself, I glared through the dark room to the door. Was it a late night booty call from Tone? He’d walk away disappointed when I failed to answer.
“Miss, this is ship security,” barked an authoritative voice through the doorway. “Please open the door.”
Yeah, maybe I should have stayed with Alexei.
The ship security officer hadn’t called me ‘Miss De Luca.’ They already knew I’d stolen the woman’s badge and snuck aboard. I’d miscalculated how long it would take them to learn that.
My eyes darted around the balcony. I leaned over the edge of the guard rail. The balcony extended only an inch further than the glass half-wall. Not much but probably enough for me to stand on.
The argument in my head lasted for less than a second. If they caught me, I’d end up under arrest in Malta. Nothing my father couldn’t fix but I’d want to avoid it as much as his simmering anger when I got home for what I’d cost him.
I’d survive a fall into the water from this height if the worst happened. With security after me, they’d send help. Then I’d end up in their custody while cold and wet, but I wasn’t planning on falling.