Rita
We spend the night talking. Then having sex. Then talking some more. I tell him about my parents, about Cait. I share insecurities and secrets with him, things I hate talking about with anyone.
I end up falling asleep in his arms. The sound of a car crash ringing in my ears. The sound of an event nearly twenty years ago, reverberating up through time, still changing the present.
“Sleep in,” he whispers as sunlight streams in through the windows. I’m groggy, cuddled around a pillow. “I’ll be back later.”
“‘Kay,” I mumble and watch him go. It’s a little past seven in the morning. How can that man stay up fucking me half the night and still drag himself out of bed for work?
I sleep another few hours. When I finally get up, I shower, make coffee, and sit in the living room sipping from my mug, admiring the new climbing shoes he bought me. They’re not broken in yet, but they will be soon enough. I turn to the window, smiling to myself.
So much about him makes sense. Born poor, raised with not much. That’s why he’s so driven to succeed. Went through the death of a girlfriend in a horrified car accident. That’s why he’s so distant. The fact that I’ve breached past his defenses enough to catch a glimpse of the man he keeps hidden from the world says a lot about where our relationship’s been heading.
It scares me, but it’s also exciting.
This move to Boston. This new frontier.
I stretch, smiling. Satisfied in a bone-deep way.
When my phone starts ringing. I assume it’s Cait or Scar, but instead it’s Janine, the recruiter that got me the assistant job. I hesitate, not sure why she’s reaching out, but decide to take it.
“Hello?”
“Hi, Rita,” Janine says, sounding chipper, like a little ray of sunshine. “How are you doing? I hear you and Scar got married. Congratulations.”
“Thank you,” I say, feeling a little silly. I forgot she went to school with Scar, and I guess he told her about our relationship. “It’s been a whirlwind few weeks.”
“I bet it has! Well, I’m sort of calling to make things more complicated, but in a good way.”
I stand, walk to the windows, and sip my coffee. “Complicated? I’m not sure I like the sound of that.”
“Good way! I promise.” She laughs, light and bright. “Okay, so here’s the deal. There’s a climbing company called Appalachian Peaks-”
“I know them,” I say automatically, looking over my shoulder. “I’m staring at a pair of their shoes right now.”
“Oh, fantastic. You’re a fan?”
“Huge fan. I love climbing and I’m super into their stuff. Plus, I like their whole eco-friendly ethos. Makes it easy to buy from them. No guilt.”
“I am very happy to hear you say that,” she says, her voice a little smug. “I didn’t want to reach out if I didn’t have something concrete, but I shared your resume with them.”
I go very, very still. I feel a knot form in my stomach. An excited knot, but also a terrified knot. Emotions swirl, conflicting. “You did? Why would you do that?”
“Well, I spoke with Scar, and he sort of casually mentioned you like climbing. One thing led to another, and he wrote you this pretty amazing recommendation. Based on your background, your resume, and his extremely positive endorsement, Appalachian Peaks is really interested in interviewing you. The position is for a marketing development agent…”
She keeps going, but it’s like my ears are ringing and I can’t hear.
Scar’s recommendation. His endorsement.
He told her to send them my information. Why would he do that? “I’m sorry, excuse me,” I say, interrupting. “But where is this job located?”
She hesitates. “Dallas,” she says. “Scar mentioned a move, but he said it wouldn’t be a problem. It’s not remote, so-” She leaves the last part unsaid.
I’d have to stay behind.
I turn my back on the windows, staring at the shoes.
This is my dream job.
It’s the kind of job I knew existed but never imagined I could ever get, with a company I genuinely respect. It’s the sort of opportunity that never comes up-for anyone, ever.
Except it’s here for me, right now.
All because of Scar.
“Sorry, did I lose you?” Janine asks.
“No, I’m still here.” I squeeze my eyes shut, feeling sick. “When’s the interview?”
“They’d like to see you next Monday. How’s that sound? Ten in the morning? I’ll email you all the details and we can have a short discussion about it beforehand if you’d like.”
“Email me,” I say, thinking I might throw up. “That sounds great. Thank you so much.”
“Sure, I’ll be in touch.”
I hang up. I can’t stay on the phone, not when I feel like I might break apart.
He found me a job. He found me a dream job.
But it’s in Dallas.
He must’ve known that meant I wouldn’t be able to move to Boston with him.
Why would he do that?
Our plan was clear, we had everything settled. I’ve been looking for apartments the last couple of days and already have a short list.
Now I hear he’s convincing Janine to get me a job.
In Dallas. Far away from Boston.
A job he knows I’d kill to have. A job he knows I won’t want to pass up.
What’s he thinking? What the hell does this mean?
I raise the phone, thinking I’ll call him, beg him to explain-
Tears roll down my face and I think back to the night before.
The story about Tracy. The way he says he can’t open up to anyone.
He’s not ending things-but maybe this is his way of making it so that I want to end them myself.
He’s giving me a way out. A better option.
I sink down to the floor, knees pulled to my chest and try to understand what he’s thinking, but I feel more betrayed than I ever have before.