49

Eros
Every muscle in my body groans with weariness.
Days spent patrolling. Nights spent hunting. Every moment of every waking hour is accounted for. I’ve thrown myself into the war with the Italians with every ounce of my being, killing as many of their men as I can, ruthlessly taking the fight to their doorstep.
I’m breaking myself to make them suffer.
And I’m breaking the city too.
The heat’s on. The cops are out in force, threatening to bring us all down if we can’t find a way to stop the violence.
I still don’t care.
“You’ve been single-minded lately, Eros.” Mother walks beside me, her hands clasped behind her back. She wears a long black dress, flowing and loose, her hair pulled up and tucked under a broad-brimmed hat. We stroll through the flower garden on the far side of the house, away from where Cara visits with Helen and her friend, Ophelia.
“Our enemies are closing in, Mother.” I glance up at the sky. “I have to admit, I worried about this exact situation. I stressed about getting into an all-out shooting war with the Italians. Now that it’s here, I find myself enjoying it.”
She clucks her tongue. “That’s not becoming of a crime lord like you, Eros.”
“Am I not supposed to want to ruin our enemies?”
“You are supposed to want to further the fortunes of the family.” She glances at me, her eyes guarded and hard. “You aren’t supposed to go to war over a girl.”
My jaw works. “She’s my wife.”
“Is she? Don’t look at me like that. I’m not as stupid as you think I am.”
“Mother-”
“Your friend Gareth will solve the problem sooner or later. He’s a clever boy with a lot of resources. But in the meantime, your wife is still married to an Italian Capo. Your captains are under control only because they have a different enemy to deal with, but what happens when the Italians sue for peace? What do you do then, Eros?”
“I refuse and kill them.”
“Don’t be absurd.” Mother stops walking and faces me. “I like Cara. I really, really do. But you can’t go on like this.”
“I don’t know what you mean.” I can’t look at her right now. There’s a reason I avoid speaking with my mother as much as possible. She reminds me too much of the man I used to be, back before my life changed, back before I became the lord.
I was a different person then. Less angry, less violent. I did my part for the family, but the weight of everyone’s fortunes weren’t squarely on my shoulders. I could laugh more, I could think more.
Now, my days are consumed with violence and the responsibilities of leadership.
And with Cara.
Mother says, “You care about her.”
“She’s my wife. I care about her.”
“Eros,” she says, tone sharp. “When will you stop treating me like an idiot? I have survived in this family for longer than you’ve been alive, boy. You think I don’t know what you’ve been doing with her?”
I go very still. Did Lycus tell her? Did Cara? I knew my wife wasn’t the best liar in the world, but we discussed this. Keep the secret at all costs. Play the game, keep our heads down. Wait for the storm to pass, for the danger to dissipate.
How does my mother know?
“I have no clue what you’re talking about, Mother,” I say cautiously.
“You don’t wear the ring.” Mother slips her hand through my arm and leans against me. “Maybe the others haven’t noticed, but I did.”
I stiffen slightly. Not at her touch, but at how perceptive she can be. “I don’t like rings,” I say softly.
“Why? Because your father never wore one?”
I shake my head, unable to answer.
She sighs as we begin to walk again. “Your father loved you, Eros. He loved you more than you realize.”
“I looked up to him.” I can see my father in my memory still, a massive man, tall and broad, a Khazan through and through. He taught me everything: how to fight, how to tell jokes, how to cook, how to live. I loved that man. I still love that man. When he died, it was like losing a piece of me, a piece that not even revenge brought back.
“You probably didn’t know this, but your father didn’t wear a ring because he was allergic to gold.”
I laugh sharply. “Really? That can’t be true.”
“It’s true. I told him a million times to get a different metal, to get fool’s gold, anything he wanted, but he always had a million excuses. It never really bothered me, if I’m honest.”
“Huh.” I clear my throat. “I thought he just-didn’t like jewelry.”
“I’m sure that’s what he told you. Can you imagine, your father with a weakness? An allergy to something as simple as gold?” She smiles sadly, no doubt remembering the man she pledged her life to, gone for a decade now.
In our world, in our family, an allergy to gold would be like an allergy to breathing. Flashing wealth, wearing gold, it’s a part of the culture. I figured Father liked to buck trends and be his own person-but it was simpler than that.
Just an allergy.
“Dad never did like to lose,” I say with a smile.
Mom pats my arm. “But it isn’t only the ring that gives you away. It’s the way you look at her.”
“Now you’re making things up.”
“No, Eros. You look at her like you love her, but you won’t let yourself. That’s not how a man looks at his wife.”
“I do love her,” I say quietly, the words coming out as silk, easily and smoothly. I thought it would be an easy lie, but it’s worse than that. It’s the truth, the first time I’ve admitted it out loud. “But I’ve made her life so much worse.”
“Can you be so sure? From what I understand, things were bad with her husband. She was in a rough position and ran away with nothing to her name. That’s admirable, but it was dangerous. Deadly, even.”
“If I had let her run from the start, she wouldn’t be in this position now. I thought I was dealing with some abusive asshole, a nobody I could toss aside. Not Conti himself.”
“You didn’t know.”
“I didn’t know, but that’s not a good excuse.” I pat my mother’s hand. “What is it you want me to say? That I want to be with my wife? That’s why she’s my wife.”
“I want you to say that to her, not to me.” She smiles, shaking her head. “I already knew it. Sometimes, even acts taken under duress can yield good results. Even marriages.”
I grunt as we finish our circuit of the yard. She releases her grip on me and steps aside. I look at my mother, trying to decide what to make of her. She spends so much time alone, locked up in this house, with nobody but Sophia and Anissa as company. I forget how insightful and clever she can be.
“I’ll see what I can do,” I finally manage to say.
“Good boy.” She pats my cheek. “Now, Lycus is hurrying over. I’m sure you have very important business to attend to.”
“That’s the life of the lord.”
Her smile is sad as she turns and walks off.
“Boss.” Lycus gives my mother a respectful nod. She gives him a little wave then disappears inside. “I’ve got news.”
“What’s going on?” I turn my back on the house, that conversation with my mother ringing through my brain. Tell Cara how I feel. Wear the damn ring. Stop being such a stubborn prick.
“Conti’s house.” Lycus meets my eye. “It’s ashes.”
I stare at him for a long moment as that settles in me.
Burning a residential building is a big step. It’s an escalation in the war, but more than that, it shatters an ancient rule binding the way the mafia families do business in the city. Now that the taboo is ruined, what’s next? What other unspoken rules will be tossed aside for violence?
“Is he dead?” I ask.
Lycus shakes his head. “Wasn’t home when we hit it.”
“And the fire?”
He pauses for a moment. “It spread. I left a couple guys to go around and make sure the neighbors got out before they crisped up. Seems like nobody’s dead.”
“Good news,” I say with relief. “We’ll compensate anyone that lost something. House, object, whatever they claim, we’ll pay.”
“Understood.”
“I don’t want to lose the good will of the neighborhoods. Even if it’s an Italian family, we make good. No excuses.”
“Whatever you say.” He pauses for a moment. “Conti’s going to want revenge.”
“I hope so.” I turn to look at the flowers. Bees buzz between them, flitting from pistil to stem. “Once we eliminate him, I can start talking about the future with their Don. But not before that.”
“Will they accept peace?”
“Not yet, but soon, and on my fucking terms.” I nod to him as I walk to the house. “Shore up our defenses. Get the soldiers out there and make sure they’re ready. When the Italians hit, they’ll hit hard.”