37

Cara
I stand in my closet, stomach a churning mess, looking at all the dresses hanging on the racks. I move through them, one at a time.
None of them are me. They’re all expensive, designer, the sort of thing that would cost more money than I’ve ever had in my life. They’re all my size and fit like a dream, but none of them are mine.
I close my eyes and try not to think about that big thug Hector pulling me from the alley. I try not to think about Christopher staring at me from the car with that smile on his face.
Like he was going to own me again and couldn’t wait to drag me through hell.
“Wear white.”
I start and turn around. Eros’s standing in the doorway, looking at me. He’s in a black suit with a dark tie, his hair combed back, looking more put-together than he has in a while.
“I thought we were keeping it casual?” I ask, my voice shaking slightly. Nerves jangle down into my fingertips. I’m more nervous than I realized.
“You’re the bride. Wear white.” He walks to me and brushes a thumb against my wounded face. “Are you okay, asteraki mu? You look like you’re on edge.”
“I’m okay. The doctors say I’m fine and I’ll heal. Nothing permanent.” I give him the best smile I can, trying to put him at ease. But why do I care how he feels? Still, I find myself wanting to soothe him.
“Good. Very good.” His eyes burn like embers as he pulls me closer. “For a moment, I feared the worst.”
“But everything is okay now.”
“It will be.” He leans down and kisses me.
I blink rapidly, not sure what to do, but slowly I relax into the kiss. I return it with a slow intensity, needing his taste, needing his touch. But we break apart after a long moment, and it’s like he snaps back into himself, realizing what he just did. He steps back, releasing me.
“Are you sure you want me to wear white?” I ask, feeling dizzy with need and confusion. Why is he kissing me, now of all times? What is this supposed to mean? “It’s not a real wedding, right?”
“Don’t let that stop you.” He nods down at my feet. “And wear the shoes. A little nod to the game we’re playing, and a little nod to yourself.”
I stare at him for a long moment, conflicting feelings warring inside of me. His taste is still fresh on my tongue. “You really want me to wear my sneakers?”
“I do, asteraki mu.”
“I thought you hated them.”
“I really do.” His smile is tight, like he’s trying to hide it. “But you love them and that’s important to me.”
“That… might actually be the nicest thing you’ve ever said.” My eyebrows shoot up. “Are you getting soft, Eros?”
He smiles acidly. “If you want hard, I’ll strip you down and choose what you’ll be wearing myself. But first, I will make you come on my cock, shivering and moaning the whole time.”
“Oh,” I say, blinking rapidly, and have to clear my throat. “We can’t have that.”
“Wear white,” he says thickly.
I reach out and pluck a short dress from the row. It’s relatively conservative, with a tight, high bust and a flared skirt. Lacework curls around the shoulders and neckline. “This one,” I say as I hold it up against me. “What do you think?”
“I think you’re beautiful,” he says and that intense stare makes me want to tumble into his gaze. “I think you’ll make a perfect wife.”
“A perfect fake wife,” I whisper.
He says nothing for a long moment before turning away. “Come, asteraki mu. We don’t want to keep them waiting.”
I get changed, do my hair and makeup, then meet Eros in the sitting room. He gives me one look, nods approvingly, and offers me his arm. I accept it as we step out into the hall-but pause in front of his office door.
He leans down and his lips brush against my neck and ear. “Real or fake, I will be proud to call you mine, Cara.”
I tremble as he opens the door. We step into his office together.
A man stands behind his desk. He’s tall, handsome, with blue eyes and dirty-blond hair. He’s smiling at us kindly as he gestures at the papers open before him. Sitting in the chairs are Lycus, Helen, and Dimitra. Everyone stands as we enter and they stare at me like they expect me to run.
But there’s no running from this.
Not with Eros by my side, his taste still on my lips.
My heart’s racing as Eros leads me to the desk. “This is Gareth, my friend and lawyer,” he says, gesturing at the man behind the desk.
Gareth smiles kindly. “No special words today, I’m afraid, but congratulations all the same.”
“Thank you.” I clear my throat and hesitate, looking around. Helen’s nodding encouragingly, Lycus looks almost grim, and Dimitra’s watching me with hawk-like intensity. “And thank you all for coming. I know… I know this wedding isn’t exactly what we all imagined, but it’s exactly what we needed.”
“Well said,” Gareth says. “Now, if you want to sign-?”
But before Eros can pull me to the pens, Dimitra steps forward. She’s wearing a simple black sheath dress down to her knees with beads around the neck and her hair in a loose bun. She looks so much like Eros, with that same inscrutable intensity, but her gaze softens as she reaches out to take my hands.
“I don’t know you very well,” she says softly. I’m intensely aware of everyone straining to hear. “But I’m going to be honest with you. I never thought my son would take a wife.”
I clear my throat and try to smile. “I didn’t either.”
Lycus lets out a sharp laugh, but he stops himself quickly under the look Eros gives him.
“I have suffered a lot of loss in my life,” Dimitra continues. “From Eros’s older brother, gone when I was three months pregnant with him, to my brother-in-law and nephew, to my husband, to dozens of other captains and soldiers within the family’s organization. I wear black because I can’t bring myself to stop mourning them, all of them, everyone we’ve lost. But seeing you here, marrying my son-I have hope for the future of the family for the first time in a very long time. I know you are not Greek, but what has that gotten us? Nothing but fighting and violence. I am happy you are joining our family, and I hope that we can put the loss behind us in time.”
“Thank you,” I whisper, fighting back tears. I want to tell her how much I’ve lost too and how much her words mean to me, but instead I kiss her cheek and squeeze her hands.
It kills me. This whole moment kills me. Dimitra looks at me with hope in her eyes-but it’s a false hope built on a lie. I’m not going to stay with Eros forever, and whatever peace we might build by getting married will evaporate the second I walk way.
Dimitra doesn’t deserve that. None of these people do.
But I can’t stop this now. I’m swept up in Eros’s wake, moved along in the river of his will.
“Now, go get married.” She releases me, still not smiling, like the weight of her life continues to hold her down.
“This way,” Eros says, steering me with him, and I catch a look flit between him and his mother. It’s a short look, only a fleeting moment, but I see pain and gratitude and love in his eyes.
“I wish I had a speech prepared, but I’ve got nothing.” Gareth gestures and I pick up a pen. “Sign here, here, and here. This last document is your divorce settlement.”
“Oh,” I say, blinking rapidly. “Right. Of course.” I knew I’d have to make my separation official, but it’s strange for it to happen on the same day that I get married to someone else.
Everyone’s staring at me, but there’s no reason to delay. I sign where Gareth indicates, and when I’m done, Eros attacks his own signature with a frenzy.
“That’s it,” Gareth says, smiling awkwardly. “A little anticlimactic, but-” He shrugs then starts gathering up the paper but stops midway through. “Oh, I almost forget.” He reaches into his pocket and takes out two rings, both of them platinum to match my engagement band. “Eros had these made as a little wedding present.”
Eros takes the rings. He slides mine down onto my finger. “With this ring, you are my wife,” he says softly, voice thick and laced with emotion. “You are mine.”
“And you’re mine.” I put his ring on and we hold hands staring into each other’s eyes.
My husband, Eros Khazan.
“Congrats!” Helen shouts then she’s hugging us. I’m laughing with her, and even Eros’s grinning as Gareth hands out drinks. Dimitra disappears, but it doesn’t feel like a snub this time, more that she doesn’t feel comfortable with the celebration part of the evening.
I hope I can change that one day.
I hope I get the chance, and if I don’t, I hope it doesn’t hurt her more when I go my own way.
For now, I’ll enjoy this moment, my first moment as Cara Khazan, wife of crime lord Eros Khazan, the strangest moment of my life.