Cara
Hot water rushes down my face. I stand in the shower and let it scald the horrible thoughts from my mind, the bad memories, the barely healed bruises.
Christopher was here. He was here, in this apartment, ripping through my things for his own sick pleasure. I don’t know how he found me, but my ex-husband has connections, the kind of connections I hoped wouldn’t be of much use.
But apparently, I was wrong.
I should’ve left Chicago. I thought Eros was right-it’s a big city. I could get lost here, disappear forever in this tiny little Greek neighborhood, and Christopher would never be the wiser. He’d be too busy trying to track me down back home in Philadelphia.
But I’d never go back to that place. I’d never return to my parents and their dump of a South Philly row home with the rats in the basement and the leaking roof and the constant scorn and their anger. Mom hating Dad and Dad hating Mom, both of them locked in some sick duel to the death, a slow-motion murder. They despise each other, and their hatred rubbed off on me, until I didn’t know what it felt like to care for another person without an undercurrent of loathing.
I thought I learned about true love with Christopher.
I was very wrong.
The bathroom door opens. Fear jolts me from my thoughts and I let out a soft yelp as my heart races, but the voice on the other side of the curtain isn’t him. It’s arguably worse.
“You should’ve called right away, asteraki mu,” Eros says in his low purr.
I let out a breath and press my hand against my chest. “You scared the fucking shit out of me.”
He chuckles and I watch his shadow move across the light, coming nearer. “I love it when you curse.”
“Now’s not the time, okay? You saw what my apartment looks like.” I cover myself with my arms.
“I did.” He’s standing on the other side of the thin fabric. I’m intensely aware of being naked, wet, and vulnerable, and Eros’s a big man. If he wanted to tear me out of the tub and take me, right here in my wrecked apartment, he could and there’d be no stopping him.
Not by me and not by anyone.
“I heard something about you today.” I’m talking quietly. He’s so close, I feel like I can taste his tongue on my lips. “I feel stupid for not figuring it out sooner.”
“What did you hear, asteraki mu?” His voice is a croon, a whisper, a promise.
“You’re a gangster. You run a family, don’t you?”
His laugh is velvet. He’s right there, right on the other side of the curtain. “And where did you hear that? Did Demetrios’s daughter tell you? After she caught us in our compromising position?”
“It’s true then.”
He doesn’t bother denying it. “Yes, it’s true.”
“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”
“Imagine that conversation. Go ahead, close your eyes and picture it.” He pauses for a moment and he lets out a breath. “There are pieces of my life that I keep segmented away in little compartments. It’s the only way a man like me can survive and keep his sanity intact.”
“I’m one of those?”
“Yes, you are. I knew you’d find out who and what I am eventually, but I enjoyed the way you looked at me before that happened.”
“And how did I look at you?”
“Like you didn’t give a damn who I am. Like you want to fuck me because you wantme, not my family.”
I’m breathing fast, on the edge of panic. This conversation is getting away from me. I squeeze my eyes shut and try to focus, but I’m spinning out, spiraling from my body, and I want him to rip the shower curtain open and kiss me, and I want him to get the hell out of here and let me have some privacy. I don’t know what I want, and that’s the problem.
“It was him,” I say finally, blurting it out before my nerves get the better of me. “Hermia described him, and it was definitely him.”
“The one you were running from.” He doesn’t sound surprised. “Who is he, asteraki mu?”
I sink down until I’m sitting at the bottom of the tub and the water’s spraying against my back. “My husband.”
He says nothing. The water’s scalding and uncomfortable, but I can’t make myself move. I deserve this-the pain, the sorrow. I should’ve told him that I’m married sooner, but I didn’t know how to broach it, and in my mind, that ugly chapter of my life is undeniably over. Even if legally, I’m still bound to Christopher.
“I assumed it was something like that,” he says at last. “What is his name?”
“Christopher.”
“How long were you married?”
I hesitate. “Five years. Five awful, ugly years. And we’re still technically married.”
“I can help you handle that,” he says, but his voice is more distant now. I hear him walk to the door and my chest yearns for him to come back, to pick me up in his strong arms, to get soaked with me.
I slowly push myself to my feet. Just because I’m shocked and in a bad place right now, I can’t let Eros steamroll me. I have to get it together and be strong, or else he’s going to do whatever he wants, and I can’t let that happen.
I owe him too much already.
I clench my jaw and take a few deep breaths. Some life comes back into my limbs, a little bit of my anger returning. “You’ve done too much already.”
“Too bad, asteraki mu.” He’s outside the door now. “From the look of things, you need help now more than ever.”
“Where are you going?” I ask, wanting him to come back.
“To get you a towel and some clothes. You and I need to have a conversation.”