Cindy had been quiet since I’d arrived to pick her up. Holding my hand tightly as I drove us to pick up my daughter, Natalie, I glanced at her more than once when I had the chance. She was chewing her bottom lip, and I felt her almost shaking. I eventually pulled over two minutes from my old house. Switching off the engine, I turned towards her. “We don’t have to say anything, sweetheart,” I said.
“I’m just worried about how she’ll react, her husband dating a transwoman…”
“A woman.”
She smiled at me ever so sweetly. “Mark, I love the fact you always say that. But not everyone is so open-minded about it. People still lose their shit over which bathroom I should use. I don’t know your ex-wife. You know her, but what do you think she’ll say?”
“I honestly don’t know. She’ll be surprised. Anything other than that…”
“She was good about Mike and Chris?”
“Of course, they’re my best friends. They liked her in return, until she did the dirty on me.” I took both her hands in mine. “In the end, it’s about the kids, helping them understand that their father is dating a woman, but she has one minor difference to their mother. We explain it simply and leave it at that.” Turning back to grab the steering wheel, I added, “Natalie adores you anyway. You’ve spoken to her on the phone every night I was at yours this week.”
I held her hand the rest of the way. Soon as I parked up, I ran around to open her door, earning a smile and kiss on the cheek as always. Taking her hand, feeling her fingers slide between mine, I knocked on the door. Megan opened it within a few seconds, polite enough to invite us in. Glancing at Cindy once we were standing in the living room, I looked at my ex-wife. “We need to have a quick chat, Megan.”
Megan and I rarely had quick chats about anything. We managed to talk about the kids calmly. Anything else? I’ll admit, I had a short fuse with her nowadays. “What about the kids?”
“It’s something the adults need to discuss first.”
“Take a seat in the dining room. Would you like a coffee?”
“I’d love one,” Cindy replied. I nodded I’d like one too. After asking how she liked it, and remembering how I liked mine, we followed her into the joint kitchen and dining room.
Megan made coffee, glancing at Cindy and I occasionally, but she remained silent, bringing over a mug each for Cindy and I before sitting opposite us. “You okay?” I asked. I shouldn’t have really cared, but she looked… sad. I was left thinking my ex-wife was regretting some choices made previously. Probably didn’t help that I was looking happy with life, and had a beautiful woman on my arm, looking at me with devotion and love in her eyes.
“I’m fine,” she replied bluntly. Then she took a deep breath. “Work is a pain as always. Don’t worry about it.” She managed a tight grin, taking a sip of her coffee before asking, “What do we need to talk about?”
Cindy squeezed my hand. “Cindy and I have been dating for a month now,” I replied, “I obviously have the kids, well, only Natalie now, every second weekend. And there is something she might see that will lead to questions. Rather than you finding out second-hand through her, the fact Cindy and I are already quite serious…”
“You are?” Megan asked, hearing the surprise in her voice.
“Once my tenancy agreement with my apartment expires, I’m moving in with Cindy.”
“Oh…” She tried her best not to sound nor look upset by the news. I knew my ex-wife well…
“Anyway, Cindy and I are already rather serious with each other. But there is something about Cindy that Natalie might discover by accident. Cindy mentioned that talking to you first might be best, then Cindy and I will sit down with Greg and Natalie and explain the situation.”
Megan’s brow furrowed, no doubt wondering what the hell I was going to say. Cindy squeezed my hand, taking a deep breath. “Megan, you don’t know me at all as much as I don’t know you. But Mark has suggested you are an open-minded woman. Therefore, I feel safe enough to tell you that I’m trans. I’m a transwoman, though Mark always insists I’m a woman. Being a transwoman, I still have… extras…”
Megan blinked at us in silence, her jaw dropped slightly. She looked from Cindy to me. “Oh… Well, I didn’t expect that. So you still have a, um, penis?”
“I do,” Cindy replied, glancing to see her smiling.
“Um… okay…” She looked at me again. “Well, I certainly never thought…”
“This is why we’re telling you now, Megan,” I said, “Natalie might walk in on her using the bathroom or if she’s showering, or she might even walk into our bedroom and see something she might not quite understand. And then she might come home and tell you. So I thought it best telling you first, then explaining to the kids. They’re old enough to understand.”
She looked at me. “Does that mean you…” She stopped and shook her head. “No. No. I don’t need nor want to know. What you do is your business.” Then she managed another slight grin. “Thank you for telling me. I don’t know really know much about the issues, but I don’t see why it would be a problem? Mark is free to date who he wants. And I agree that the kids are old enough to understand, to a point.”
I couldn’t help smile. “Thank you, Megan.”
“Thank you for still having the confidence in me to share something like that.”
“We’ll tell Natalie when we get home, and I’ll talk with Greg on Sunday. Guess he’s with friends?”
“If you want, I can talk to him… if we can talk without having an argument…”
“Sunday is fine, Megan. Don’t worry about it.”
Finishing our coffees, Natalie was waiting patiently in her room, running and leaping onto me as soon as I appeared in the doorway. I knew there was going to come a time when she would stop wanting to visit me every second weekend as well, so I was going to appreciate it every time until then. Taking her hand and her bag, Cindy and Megan had moved to the living room. Cindy took Natalie by the hand, leading her out to the car. Standing outside the front door, I turned back to Megan.
“Thanks…” I said, not sure what else to say.
“Mark?” I met her eyes. “I’m glad you’ve found someone.” Before Cindy, I’d have scoffed at that. But she’d already helped smooth some of the edges off me, helped ease the bitter feelings that had left me wounded. What she said next left me speechless. “I’m sorry. It was my fault.”
Taking a deep breath, I probably surprised her in return by shaking my head. “No, it wasn’t entirely just yours. You had the affair, but we both fucked it up. We were unhappy. We could have done something about it. But we just drifted apart. You had an affair, but… I have to take responsibility in the sense that I almost pushed you into thinking about it.”
She looked down and, for the first time in perhaps two years, I stepped forward and hugged her. “I’ll talk with Greg when he gets home or tomorrow,” she said, “He needs to spend time with his father.”
“Okay. Just don’t push him. I know it’s not easy for either of you.”
I actually felt her laugh. “Jesus, she has calmed you down, hasn’t she?”
“I love her, Megan. I’m in love with her.”
She sighed as I let her go, taking an awkward step back as she met my eyes again. “I never hated you, Mark, even when our marriage hit the skids. I know you hated me for what I did, and I don’t blame you. But…”
“Give it some more time, Megan. Maybe, one day, with the passage of time, we might find common ground again. Whatever the case, you’ll always be the mother of our children. That means something.”
I hadn’t seen her smile at me in a long time. “Go on, get out of here. One last thing, though. She’s beautiful, Mark. Bloody cradle snatcher.”
I laughed as I wished her goodnight and wandered back to the car. Natalie was in the back seat, Cindy leaning over to kiss me as soon as I sat down. Stopping for take away before driving us to her place, Natalie was curious where we were, letting her know we’d be staying with Cindy. That excited my daughter as we headed to her apartment.
Cindy’s apartment is definitely ‘girly’. We showed Natalie where everything was, including where she’d be sleeping. Sitting at the kitchen table for dinner, Natalie talked at length about her week, what she was doing at school, what she did with her friends, what she watched on TV. Frankly, it was exhausting, but she had Cindy and I sharing glances and chuckling away.
Dinner finished, I cleared up as Cindy took Natalie into the living room. I joined them a few minutes later, taking Natalie onto my lap, sitting her sideways so she could see Cindy. We had agreed before picking her up that getting it out of the way quickly would be for the best, giving her time to digest what she was told. We’d just keep it very simple.
Cindy learned that my daughter is intelligent, which I already knew, understanding, which I already knew, but that she liked Cindy more than either of us realised. We kept it very simple but my daughter understood what we were trying to tell her. I don’t think they were taught those sort of issues at that age, but she grasped enough. Natalie slid over onto her lap and hugged her tightly. Cindy met my eyes, hers wet with unshed tears. “I think you’re very pretty, Cindy. I’m glad you make daddy so happy.” She leaned back and smiled. “Do you love my daddy?”
“I love him very much.”
“Will you be my mummy too one day?”
That made Cindy nearly break down, hugging my daughter tightly. “I’d love to be your other mummy,” she whispered.
After putting Natalie to bed a couple of hours later, insisting she received a hug from Cindy then myself, she was waiting for me in the hallway as I pulled the door closed. She met my eyes and almost collapsed into my arms. “That daughter of yours is amazing,” she finally managed to say.