88

MILLIE
April had come around, and with it, the long-awaited visit from Sienna and Harper. The moment my eyes fell on Harper, an inexplicable sense of anticipation gripped me. There was something different about her, something unspoken, hanging in the air like a delicate thread. But amidst the whirlwind of activities, we hadn’t found a moment to delve into those unspoken currents until a certain evening.
It was a night when Gio and Sebastian had been called away for business, and Dario was engrossed in a game of Scrabble with Sienna. The quiet and solitude on the rooftop terrace seemed to provide the perfect backdrop for a heart-to-heart. The city lights of New York sprawled below us, a breathtaking sight that somehow mirrored the complexities of our lives.
Leaning against the railing, I couldn’t hold back my curiosity any longer. “You’ve got something on your mind, haven’t you?” I asked Harper, my gaze fixed on the distant lights.
Harper’s response didn’t come as swiftly as it usually did, and that was a departure from her usual self-assured demeanor. Her hesitation spoke volumes. Finally, her eyes met mine, revealing a turmoil that had been brewing beneath the surface. “Millie, I can’t do this anymore. I want to break free. Break free from this world, escape my arranged marriage-just break away from it all.”
I had sensed the possibility of such feelings stirring within her, but hearing her voice them aloud sent shockwaves through me. Apprehension and concern mingled as I processed her words. “You’re thinking of running away?”
Her response was firm, leaving no room for doubt. “Yes.”
I turned to face her fully, my heart a mix of worry and empathy. “Are you absolutely certain?”
A fleeting glimpse of determination passed over Harper’s features. “Absolutely. Ever since the Bratva attacked the mansion, and I saw what Sebastian is capable of, I realized I need to get out.”
The weight of her confession settled heavily within me. It wasn’t just about Sebastian; it was about the life she was entangled in. I searched for words that might offer solace. “Remember, it’s not only Sebastian. The world we belong to-these men, they all carry darkness within them. Even Karsen will be drawn into it eventually. But there are shades of light too.”
Harper’s eyes held mine, a mix of understanding and defiance. “That’s what makes it worse. I can’t stand knowing that all of them, including Sebastian, are capable of such terrible things. I despise every moment I spend trapped in this twisted reality.”
I brought up a recent memory, an attempt to find common ground. “You and Sebastian seemed to be getting along better lately. Today, you didn’t exchange your usual hostilities.”
“He’s trying to manipulate me, Millie. Could you not see how effortlessly he made Sienna feel at ease around him?”
Trying to offer a different perspective, I mentioned, “It could be worse. Most men wouldn’t tolerate your resistance, but Sebastian seems genuinely interested in you.”
Harper’s skepticism was palpable. “Are you taking his side?”
My intentions were far from taking sides. I explained, “I’m not advocating for him. I’m just suggesting there might be alternatives to fleeing.”
“Why? You know I’ve never desired this life. Why are you so determined to make me stay?”
Frustration mingled with affection, and I held her wrist tightly. “Because I can’t bear the thought of losing you, Harper.”
Her gaze softened, her voice barely above a whisper. “You won’t lose me.”
The contradiction weighed heavily on my heart, and I spoke with raw honesty. “Yes, I will. Once you vanish, we might never cross paths again. Perhaps we won’t even have the freedom to communicate without the constant fear of the mob tracking you down.”
A somber silence settled between us. “I understand,” Harper finally admitted. Then, unexpectedly, she turned to face me, her eyes searching mine. “Or you could come with me.”
I had often pondered about breaking free from the gilded cage I had grown up in. The idea of exploring New York without Dario, pursuing my own dreams without the constraints of my family’s legacy-it was tempting. But my heart remained tethered. “I can’t.”
Harper’s gaze dropped, disappointment and realization mingling in her expression. “Because you love Gio.”
Her words hung in the air, an unspoken truth that resonated within me. Yes, my heart belonged to Gio, but my reasons were more intricate than that. It was about duty, loyalty, and the intricate web of relationships that bound us all.
Her voice carried a subtle undertone of disapproval, a dissonance I couldn’t ignore, even though I wasn’t ready to defend the emotions that had taken root within me. The love I felt for Gio was a complex force, one that I couldn’t simply feel remorseful about. I found myself in a quiet standoff, caught between the intensity of my emotions and the implied judgment in her words.
“Yes, I realize that’s not the sole reason,” I began, my voice carrying a mixture of certainty and hesitation. The thought of leaving behind Karsen and Sienna, my constants in this tumultuous life, tugged at my heart. It wasn’t just about Gio; it was about the ties that had been woven over time. “But it’s not only about him. It’s about Karsen, Sienna, and the life we’ve all embraced. This existence, however unconventional, has become my reality. And I’ve accepted it, I’m at peace with it.”
A furrow creased her brow as she contemplated my response. Her next words were laced with a mixture of concern and introspection, “Do you think that by leaving, I’m abandoning them?”
With a soft sigh, I offered my perspective, “They’ll come to understand. This life isn’t tailored for everyone. Remember, you’ve always yearned for something ordinary, something different from all this. And they’ll still have me here. You have to put yourself first. My only wish is for you to find happiness.”
A sense of melancholy colored her words, “I don’t think I can find that here.”
“Is it because you can’t fathom being wedded to a man like Sebastian, a man tied to this world of violence?” I asked, probing gently.
Her response was barely above a whisper, “No, it’s because I can envision myself accepting it.”
Studying her face, I pondered her words. “And why is that a problem?” I understood Gio’s nature, his inclinations and capabilities. I had no illusions of changing him, nor did I desire it. My affection was for the person he was, flaws and all.
“Are you at peace with what Gio does? Do you never lie awake at night, consumed by guilt for being connected to a man like him?” she questioned, her gaze searching mine.
“We come from a lineage of men like him. Would you have me burdened with guilt?” I retorted, a touch of defensiveness in my tone.
“No, but regular people would grapple with that guilt. Can’t you see the twisted reality we’ve grown up in? I refuse to be part of it. I won’t spend a lifetime with a man who thrives on brutality.”
Gio often painted me as innocent and untarnished, yet I knew I fell short of that ideal, especially by conventional standards.
“I’m sorry,” I interjected, my intention never to stir these emotions. “I didn’t intend to make you feel uncomfortable. It’s just… I know I have to take the risk. I can’t live with the regret of never trying to escape this life, the violence, the skewed morals.”
Her response was filled with conviction, “You know that I can’t return to this life if I leave. There’s no reversing this decision. The moment you run, there’s no way back. Even if Sebastian were to forgive your affront, the syndicate would dictate your fate until your marriage. Betraying the mafia, leaving it behind-it’s seen as the ultimate betrayal.”
“I understand.”
“The mafia’s retribution for betrayal is death. And since you’re not a ‘Made Man,’ they might show some leniency by relegating you to their dark enterprises or marrying you off to someone worse than Sebastian.”
“I’m aware.”