84

[REBECCA]
Deep inside, I prayed he would say no and that it was all a misunderstanding. “I’m not the spy,” I continued softly, desperately hoping he would believe me.
I saw Artemy visibly swallow hard, and he slightly shook his head. “I know, Rebecca.”
He accepted my plea, but I still couldn’t forget those words. It still hurt. I still felt like I was breaking. Under the layers of hurt, deep anger was raging. Never had I felt this way. Not even when I was tortured.
I loathed that Artemy could make me feel this way.
My body vibrated with the force of my anger, and as I stared at Artemy’s guilty face, I snapped. I was holding on tight to the string, desperate not to lose control, but right at the moment, I lost it.
Lurching forward, I slammed into Artemy’s body, holding onto his collar tight. “Why? Why did you do it? Was it all a lie? Tell me!”
His arms wrapped around my waist, but I pushed him away, hard. He stumbled over his feet before quickly straightening up, his face a mask of complete bewilderment.
“You want to know the truth, right? Fine. I’ll tell you,” I yelled, my chest heaving with exertion. My harsh breathing filled the room, and Artemy looked in pain.
“I believe y-” he started to say, but I talked over him.
“I was sixteen when I was raped.” Artemy’s mouth snapped shut, his jaw clenching as his eyes glittered with a sudden rage. But I continued, pushing forward in my own anger.
“The man who I was supposed to marry raped me on my sixteenth birthday, and he continued to do so every single night for seven years.” I choked on the last words.
Tears blinded my vision as the memories assaulted me. They flashed in front of my eyes, and my body shook as if I was experiencing all the nights of torture again.
“My father never did anything. He never even paid attention to me. I was alone, never allowed to leave the house. And then he handed me over to him. A cruel man who destroyed me.”
As I revealed my truth, I saw Artemy’s face changing. So much fury. I could feel it from where I was standing. The air around us grew rigid as my words echoed around us.
“Who hurt you?” he growled, his body prowling forward to me. His voice was deadly, his words so sharp it felt like a whip had sliced through the air. And his eyes…the look he gave me was completely ferocious.
I could see the monster there. The one everyone feared.
I felt my chest start to burn with the pressure building there. I didn’t know how to feel. He looked in pain for me…but he was also the cause of my pain.
“He used to beat me. He would chain me to our bed and then whip me if I did something wrong or what he perceived wrong.”
His face was already a mask of rage, but it darkened more ominously as I admitted another truth. I held my breath when I saw him clenching and then unclenching his fists. Artemy did that a few times, and each time he clenched his fist, my heart squeezed.
“I was running away from home when I found you and hid in your car. That’s how we met. I’m not a spy, Artemy. I’m just someone running away from her nightmare, desperately seeking peace,” I murmured as my shoulders sagged, the anger leaving my body until I felt empty.
My mind was lost somewhere I didn’t want to go.
“I’m not your enemy. I’m just another victim,” I whispered brokenly, hoping he could hear the truth in my words. I might have been an Cavalieri, but I wasn’t Artemy’s enemy. My real enemy was my own family.
Artemy’s face was thunderous as he moved into my space. Even when I placed my hands out to ward him off, he didn’t stop. He kept moving until he was in front of me, my shoulders held tightly in his hands. I flinched when his fingers dug into my skin.
“Who?” One simple word but it spoke volume. The raw brutal energy coming off Artemy wrapped around us. He exuded danger, his eyes filled with murderous intent.
When I didn’t answer, he shook me, his beautiful bluish eyes darkening even further. “Who the fuck hurt you, Rebecca?” Artemy roared.
“You!” I screamed, pushing him away from me. A sudden surge of anger coursed through my body again. “You hurt me. You are hurting me.”
He flinched at my words, his body tensing fiercely. Hurt flashed over his face, his eyebrows pulling together tensely.
“I never had hopes for my father or the man he handed me to. I grew numb in their hands, learning to block away the pain. But you.” I pointed at Artemy. “You hurt me because I trusted you. I gave you everything. I let you touch me-” I broke off on the last words. I gave you my heart.
Deep regret was written over his face as he stayed rooted on the spot. “Rebecca, please let me…”
“When I ran away, I didn’t expect to find peace. I didn’t even know what I wanted until I found you. You brought me peace. I was basking in this light until you took it away,” I snapped, my voice rising.
I felt something wet on my cheeks and brought my hand up. I didn’t even realize I was crying. Artemy made an agonized sound at the sight of my tears, and he moved forward again, wrapping his arms around me before I could say anything else.
My head was right over his loudly racing heart. His arms tightened around me at my next words. “You were my savior. My own guardian angel.”
At the word Angel, I felt him suck in a harsh breath, his arms growing impossibly tight around me. “But it feels like my heart is splintering into pieces right now, Artemy.”
Pulling away from me, he palmed my cheeks. “I’m sorry, Rebecca. So sorry. Just let me explain,” he pleaded.
“What do you want to explain, Artemy? I heard it loud and clear. The truth was right there. Tiffany came out of your office. You touched her. And then you admitted getting close to me because you thought I was a traitor. What is there left to say?” I muttered softly, losing all the battle in me.
“You didn’t-”
“I need you to leave.”
We both spoke at the same time, our words clashing together. Artemy flinched, and my heart clenched.
“No. I’m not leaving until you listen to me,” he stated firmly.
“I can’t do this right now. Just leave, Artemy.”
“No.”
“Leave!” I screamed, pushing him away. God, why couldn’t he understand? If he didn’t leave, I was going to break down right there in front of him. My thoughts and feelings were in turmoil.
I saw Brayden appear in the doorway. He walked inside and stopped behind Artemy. “Artemy, let’s go. Give her some time,” he said softly.
“No. Stay the fuck out of this, Brayden,” he snapped, his voice hard. His gaze was still glued on mine, and I looked away.
“I want you to leave,” I bit out.
He shook his head stubbornly. “I’m not leaving until you listen to me.”
“I don’t want to listen to you! Just leave,” I snapped back. He moved toward me, but Brayden held him back.
“Let’s go, Artemy.”
Turning away from them, I faced the wall, tuning them out. I heard them arguing, and the door closed after a few minutes.
Then complete and utter silence. I stood in the darkness as the silence surrounded me. The tears fell down my cheeks, and I made no effort to swipe them away.
With a resigned sigh, I got into our bed and pulled the covers over me. The bed felt big and empty without Artemy. It was the first time I would be sleeping without him since he brought me to his room.
My tears soaked his pillow as I laid on his side of the bed. His scent enveloped me, and my heart ached, knowing he wasn’t here with me. I had pushed him away, but I was now missing his presence.
I told him the truth about my past. Part of it. I still left out the part where I was an Cavalieri. During our fight, the truth was at the tip of my tongue. I wished I could have told him, but the fear of his reaction always stopped me.
The irony of this situation was almost laughable.
I accused him of betraying me. But I was betraying him too. By keeping this truth from him, I was betraying his trust.
I was angry at Artemy, but some of that anger was directed to me too. And that was exactly why I needed him to leave. With Artemy, I was weak. My emotions were uncontrollable when he was around.
Closing my burning eyes, I hugged his pillow to my chest. I prayed that sleep would come fast.
But it didn’t. My chest was still unbearably tight.