50

[REBECCA]
The memory was still vivid in my mind. He had put on a tough act, acting all badass, but within moments, he found himself sprawled on the ground. Lynda, who was lounging beside me on my bed, burst into laughter. I turned towards her, a smile forming on my lips as I listened to her story.
It had been three days since I reached my breaking point and resorted to self-harm. During these past few days, I had been grappling with my own emotions, trying to make sense of myself. I was rarely left alone. Lynda was by my side most of the time, and when she wasn’t there, Nona was. Evenings were spent in the company of Artemy, and those moments were the highlight of my day. Every night, I eagerly anticipated the time when I would retreat to the piano room. After dinner, I would enter the room and patiently wait for Artemy. I would lose myself in playing the piano while he silently observed me from a distance. Then I would indulge in reading while he worked on his laptop. These moments brought a sense of tranquility to my chaotic world, grounding me and providing solace.
“Yup. And Artemy was just standing there, laughing his ass off too. But, true to his nature, Brayden got up and acted as if nothing had happened,” Lynda’s voice broke through my thoughts.
“Hmm,” I hummed, a smile adorning my face. Lynda always shared stories from her childhood, the times spent with Brayden and Artemy. Their mischievous and humorous escapades never failed to make me laugh. They were an inseparable trio.
Lynda was about to continue when a knock on the door interrupted her. She glanced at the door and called out, “Come in.”
Susan entered the room, greeting us with a casual “Hey.” She had brought breakfast for me before, and as she took the empty tray, she offered a small smile. “Tell Mom I’ll be downstairs soon,” Lynda told her. Susan nodded and began to leave but stopped a few feet away from my bed.
She turned back around, her gaze fixed on me with a questioning look. “I’ve been wanting to ask you this for some time now, but never found the right moment,” Susan began.
Her words struck me like a bolt of lightning, and panic surged through me. My eyes widened, and I struggled to catch my breath. “Why was Artemy’s suit jacket under your pillow?” she inquired.
Although I anticipated her question, the impact of her words left me breathless. Dread consumed me, and I swallowed hard, my body frozen in fear. “What?” Lynda exclaimed in disbelief next to me.
“I found Artemy’s jacket under Becca’s pillow while cleaning her room a few days ago,” Susan explained, her gaze still fixed on me, waiting for an answer.
I didn’t need to turn to Lynda to sense her shock. I could feel her piercing stare, her gaze burning into my skin. Panic tightened its grip on me, and my fingers clenched the comforter tightly. Desperately, I turned my head to the side, alarmed, and met Lynda’s eyes, silently pleading for her to rescue me from this situation.
She must have sensed my desperation because her expression hardened, and she shot a harsh glare at Susan. “That’s none of your business. Leave,” she commanded sharply. Susan returned the glare, huffed in annoyance, and left, closing the door forcefully behind her.
Lynda turned her attention back to me, her eyes softening as she looked at me with expectation. “Becca, what were you doing with Artemy’s jacket?” she asked gently.
“Lynda…” I averted my gaze, unable to bring myself to lie to her. Not after everything she had done for me. Swallowing hard, I met Lynda’s understanding eyes once again. She understood me. She had been my rock when I needed support the most. Perhaps she would understand this time too.
“You don’t have to…”
“I sleep with it,” I confessed, my voice barely above a whisper.
Lynda’s jaw dropped in shock, her eyes widening. “What?” she stammered.
“I sleep with it,” I repeated, my fingers tightly entwined, knuckles turning white. “It helps keep the nightmares at bay.” My voice trembled with a mix of shame and embarrassment, and tears welled up, blurring my vision.
In that vulnerable moment, I couldn’t help but think that Lynda might see me as pathetic.
Artemy’s jacket had a peculiar power-it could keep nightmares at bay. I nodded in agreement, and then I felt her comforting touch on my shoulder. Her voice filled with urgency, she pleaded, “Becca, look at me.”
I turned my gaze to meet her compassionate, hazel eyes. They held no judgment, only an understanding glow.
“Becca, was that why you had that nightmare three nights ago? Was it because you didn’t have the jacket?”
My face drained of color, and my body turned numb as her words coiled tightly around me. “Yes,” I managed to say, struggling with the weight of the word. I took deep breaths, attempting to calm my racing heart.
“Oh, Becca. Come here.” Before I could react, she pulled me closer, wrapping her arms tightly around my shoulders. Her hand moved rhythmically up and down my back, soothingly, as I fought back a sob. “Let it out. I’m here.”
It felt liberating to finally be understood, to have a comforting presence to lean on. But this time, I held back the tears. I blinked them away, allowing Lynda to hold me and offer solace.
Placing her palms on my cheeks, she made me look directly into her eyes. “I’m going to ask you something. Please answer me honestly,” she began, her confession hanging heavy in the air. I swallowed hard, my heart stumbling, but nodded in agreement. “Is it his jacket that keeps the nightmares away, or is it him?”
Her words struck a chord deep within me, and I closed my eyes. The truth was undeniable. I didn’t want to believe it. I didn’t want to acknowledge it, but there it was, staring me in the face. I could no longer hide from it. “Him,” I whispered, my voice hoarse from tears.
It was the truth. Artemy brought me peace. He was the one who banished the darkness. He gave me life. He was the one who made me… feel.
Opening my eyes, I met Lynda’s gaze, only to see a trembling smile on her face. “That’s all I wanted to know. Why don’t you tell him?”
“No!” I exclaimed, my voice cracking. I shook my head, gripping her arms tightly. “No. You can’t tell him. Please, promise me. Don’t tell him. You can’t.”
Panic consumed me, fear building inside my trembling body. Artemy couldn’t find out. I couldn’t bear the thought of him seeing me differently. I didn’t want him to think I was foolish or pitiful.
Even though I was both, I couldn’t bear him knowing. Maybe he already had an inkling, but this truth would only make it worse.
Lynda reassured me gently, her voice a balm to my racing thoughts. “I won’t say anything. It’s okay. Calm down. It’s okay.”
“Promise,” I whispered, my breaths ragged.
“I promise.”
Lynda rubbed my hands and then gestured toward the bathroom. “Why don’t you take a hot bath? I need to go help Mom with lunch, but I’ll come back soon.”
“Okay,” I agreed, realizing that I indeed needed that respite. She nodded and waited for me to leave the bed before doing the same.
“I’ll see you later,” she said with a warm smile.
Nodding, I entered the bathroom, closing the door behind me. I turned on the faucet, allowing the tub to fill with warm water. I let go of my nightgown and gathered my hair into a tight bun.
As the tub filled, I eased myself in, feeling the water envelop my chilled body. I positioned my arms on the edge, ensuring they remained above the waterline. The doctor had warned me not to get my stitches wet, as it could lead to an infection.
The warmth seeped into my pores, relaxing my tense muscles. I closed my eyes, savoring the sensation. I lost track of time, only becoming aware of the cooling water when it began to chill. I rinsed off quickly and stepped out of the tub, swiftly wrapping the towel around my body to shield myself from the cold air.
I hastily dressed myself and exited the bathroom, my mind preoccupied with the day ahead. As I made my way toward the bed, my attention was suddenly captivated by something resting upon it. My steps faltered, and an involuntary gasp escaped my lips.
There, lying on the bed, was Artemy’s jacket. Without hesitation, I rushed towards it, coming to a halt in front of the bed and clutching the garment to my chest. My fingers gripped the fabric tightly as I struggled to comprehend the significance of its presence.
Gazing down at the jacket, a sense of calm washed over me, soothing my racing thoughts and easing the tension in my body. Lynda. There was no doubt in my mind that she was the one responsible for this unexpected gift. Tears of joy welled up in my eyes, and with gratitude flooding my heart, I silently expressed my appreciation to her.
Thank you. Oh, thank you so much.
Anticipation surged within me, longing to see Lynda in person and convey my gratitude face-to-face. It felt as though she had returned my life to me, restoring my inner peace. This was all I needed.
Clutching the jacket close to me, I was interrupted by a knock on the door. The sound sent a jolt through my body, causing me to lurch forward and hastily conceal the jacket beneath my pillow. Straightening myself, I called out softly, “Come in.”
The door opened, revealing Artemy. My heart skipped a beat at the sight of him. He entered the room but remained in the doorway, neglecting to close it behind him.
“Are you busy right now?” he inquired.
Shaking my head, I watched as he nodded, seemingly satisfied with my response. His next words caught me off guard. “Come. I want to show you something,” he said, his voice gentle yet commanding.
Confusion furrowed my brow, and I hesitated, unsure of what to make of his request.
Artemy took a step closer, his gaze fixed upon me. “Don’t you trust me?” he asked.
The question hung in the air, and I couldn’t believe he had asked me that. Wasn’t it apparent? Despite the fact that I shouldn’t trust him, I did. He was my adversary, and yet my trust in him surpassed any trust I had ever placed in another.
Taking a step towards him, my heart fluttered in its familiar rhythm whenever he was near. Standing before Artemy, I peered up at him through my lashes, noticing a subtle twist to his mouth and the faint indentation of a dimple on his cheek.
“I trust you,” I whispered.
“Good.” He nodded, his lips curling into a faint smile that could have easily gone unnoticed had I not been paying attention. “Let’s go,” Artemy said, turning around without glancing back to see if I would follow. He knew I would, and so I did. Without uttering a single question, I trailed behind him.