The party for Yelena is over. Nikolai and Alexei are already home when I arrived and when I asked Dimitri where his Bosses are, he looked at me like I did something wrong like I was in trouble.
The two are in the garage which is actually a building beside the mansion where they keep their cars and bikes. I went inside and saw the two working on the engine of a vintage car. Nikolai is wearing denim pants without a shirt on while his brother who just got out from the driver’s seat is wearing ripped jeans and a shirt. They look sweaty and it seems like they have been here for a while. When they noticed me, they both just went on with what they are doing.
I do not plan on telling them about my birthday anymore. I mean, at this point I doubt if they even care at all. I will just let this pass as I have a lot more important things on my plate right now. Like why did they keep the truth about Yelena from me.
“Did you have fun with your date with the Albanian?” Asked Alexei looking at me momentarily, his arms are on the side of the hood of the car.
“I did not go on a date with Artan. He just needed to show me something. I thought it won’t take long.” I replied. What I really meant to say is that Artan made last-minute arrangements so he could salvage my awful day-a thing that you and your brother were supposed to do for your wife’s birthday.
“You went to a hotel with a man who is obsessed with you and stayed there for hours right under our noses. You did it while all of us here in the mansion are remembering my sister’s death anniversary. You made us look like fools in front of our people. Tell me what am I missing here, Belle?”
My birthday! You missed my Birthday Nikolai! Everyone remembered my birthday except you and your brother and the rest of the Russian Mafia! I happen to have two husbands but no one actually cared! I wanted to scream and tell them what my heart really feels but I chose not to. I know that they have the right to be mad at me for leaving in the middle of the night with Artan, the man who almost ruined our relationship before.
“We will talk about this tomorrow. In fact, we have a lot of things to talk about tomorrow. But it’s late and we are all tired.” I said, turning my back on them as I did not want us to have this conversation when we all had a long day. We will just end up saying hurtful things we don’t actually mean.
“Does our marriage mean anything to you Belle?” Nikolai asked, but it sounded more like a statement than a question. “We asked you for one thing today. Be with us as we go through this. Just one day Belle. We needed you, but you bailed on us and went looking for attention elsewhere. You went running to the arms of another man.”
Nikolai’s words were like knives stabbing through my heart repeatedly. How can they say this to me when all I ever did was love them? Our marriage means everything to me. They both mean the world to me but still they manage to hurt me over and over again.
It took a lot not to respond to what they are accusing me of doing. I just chose to walk away from them. I had to wipe my tears before I entered the mansion because I did not want their men to see me like this, out of shame. Shame because they are looking at me like I did a mortal sin– the sin of momentarily thinking about my happiness on my birthday.
On my way to the master bedroom, I saw Matushka carrying Yelena’s framed picture, the one displayed in the church during the service. She came inside one of the rooms reserved for family members. I know she does not stay in that room because she preferred the guest bedroom downstairs. Moments later she came out without the framed picture, shut the door, and took the stairs instead of the elevator.
Out of curiosity, I decided to see what’s inside the room. The moment I opened the door, turned on the lights, and saw the whole room, my heart began to slowly break into pieces.
It is Yelena’s room. All of her stuff from the old house has been transferred here and arranged as if she’s still alive as if she’s still here. In one corner are her pictures with Nikolai and Alexei. Her vanity mirror with her make-up, pieces of jewelry, and perfume. Her bed and pillows and red daisies in almost all of the corners of the room.
A wedding gown is displayed in one corner that looks disturbingly familiar. My heart gradually broke as I step closer and closer to it. I gently touched the veil as the realization dawns on me. This is the wedding gown I wore in Colombia. The one I walked down to marry Alexei. This was Yelena’s wedding gown. She was supposed to wear this on her wedding day with Alexei. A wedding that never happened because she passed away.
It’s like fate is pointing me towards finding out more about Yelena when I saw an old digital camera on top of one of the tables next to the bed. It contained videos of their travels and just some random stuff. One thing I have noticed about the videos is that they are mostly of Yelena and Nikolai. The last video however contained something that would confirm one of the suspicions I have been trying to ignore. It was a video of them on a vacation. At first, it was focused on everyone else in the yacht and some people swimming in the water but as the video focused on Yelena going towards Nikolai and sitting on his lap, my heart started to bang in my chest.
The camera slowly slipped through my hand and to the floor when I finally saw the moment when Yelena holds Nikolai’s face, kissed him on his lips and told him the only term I am most familiar with, in the Russian language. Ya lyubyu tebya, Nikolai.
The video I saw they were watching back at the rest-house makes perfect sense now. Nikolai and Yelena were in a romantic relationship. And she was to wed Alexei as well. They were sharing her just like they are sharing me.
I wasn’t the only one in Nikolai and Alexei’s lives. All this time, I have been living her life. Yelena’s life.
Nikolai saw Yelena the first time we met and not me. He fell in love with me because I resemble his deceased lover. And I was just a convenient replacement for her. My suspicions about my and Alexei’s relationship have now been confirmed. The man has not moved on from her death just like his brother.
The signs that I have been ignoring since the beginning of my relationship with Nikolai and Alexei and everyone from the Russian Mafia came rushing back to me, completely knocking me off of my pathetic and delusional self.
Artan’s revelation about his connection with Yelena is like a piece of this whole grand puzzle. Nikolai, Alexei and everyone from the Russian Mafia are still grieving Yelena and I just happen to fill that void in their hearts.