I kicked my shoes off and hung my jacket up as soon as I got inside. My dad was in the living room and my mom was in the kitchen.
“Hey sweetheart”. My mom smiled. “You’re home late”.
“Something smells good”. I walked further into the living room continuing onto the kitchen and sat at the table. “I went to the diner with Alice”.
“Are you not working tonight?”. She asked.
I shook my head. “Tomorrow night”.
“Remember we leave tomorrow and won’t be back until Sunday. Are you still okay with us going?”.
“Lorraine”. My dad sighed.
“I’ll be fine mom I promise. Do you need any help, or can I go wash up and change?”. I asked.
“Go wash up dinner won’t be long”.
I headed upstairs to my bedroom closing the door and falling onto my bed once inside. To think this weekend was supposed to be spent just me and Franko. Now it was probably going to be spent alone.
A sigh fell from my lips as I pushed myself up. I wasn’t doing this anymore. I wasn’t sitting around my room sulking about him and what could have been. He chose this not me and I wasn’t going to wallow in self-pity because a boy changed his mind.
I got clean pjs and headed for the bathroom.
..
I swear I died.
When I went back into my room after showering Franko was stood by my window. How did he even get in? There’s no way my parents would allow that to happen.
“What are you doing here?”. I hissed.
“Had to see you”. He shrugged.
“You can’t be here how did you even get in?”.
“I walked through the front door and came upstairs”. He made a face as if walking into people’s homes was normal.
“You have to leave now”. If I was caught with Franko in my room my mom would kill me. Not even just Franko with any boy.
“You gotta know I’d never fuck you around Aubrey. I care to much for you, I’d never hurt you like that”.
“I can’t do this you need to leave before-…”.
“Aubrey, sweetheart dinners ready”. My mom called from the bottom of the stairs. I chewed the inside of my cheek praying she stayed where she was.
“I’ll be right down”. I yelled.
“Can I still see you this weekend?”. He asked.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea”.
“I fucked up Aubrey I shouldn’t have called us off”. He ran a hand through his hair. “Guess I’ll see you around”. With his hand on my doorknob, I chewed the inside of my cheek.
“Wait”. I sighed. “You have to stay here until it’s safe for you to leave. If they catch you, I’ll be as good as dead”.
“Ain’t gonna stay when I’m not wanted darling”.
“Don’t do that”. I frowned. “Don’t turn this around and make me feel bad”. I sat on the edge of my bed. “I finally opened up and let you in and for what? For you to get scared and call things off?”.
He made a face. “Aye darling you’re right. I got scared and fucked everything up”.
“Do you really think I would choose Marko over you?”.
He shrugged. “Wouldn’t be the first time Aubrey”.
“That’s not me I wouldn’t-…”.
“Aubrey”. My mom called out again. “Dinners getting cold”.
I jumped from my bed. “Stay here until I come back”. I closed the door behind me making my way downstairs.
“What were you doing up there?”. My mom asked.
“Sorry”. I took a seat at the table. “I was reading my book and got sucked into a chapter. Would it be okay if I take this upstairs?”.
“Must be a good book”. My dad laughed.
“It is”. I smiled. “Can I mom, can I eat it upstairs?”.
“Sure, sweetie just remember and bring your dishes down in the morning and don’t be reading that book all night. You’re still up early”.
“I won’t”. I smiled. “See you in the morning”.
I made my way back upstairs to my room. Franko was sprawled out on my bed his nose in my book”.
“Hey”. I whispered. “You better not have lost my place”.
“You really like reading this stuff?”. He asked.
I nodded as I sat my plate on my bedside drawers. “There’s nothing wrong with reading a book now please put it down”.
“Never said there was princess”. He sat up pinching a few fries from my plate. “You working at the diner tomorrow?”.
“Yeah”.
“You wanna hang out after it?”.
“What are we doing?”. I sighed taking a seat on my bed.
“I’m asking if you wanna hang out”. He made a face.
“And I said I don’t think it’s a good idea”.
“Right”. He nodded. “Because I ended it”. He pushed himself to his feet and walked towards my window. “You’re too good for a guy like me anyway princess but I had to at least try. You ever need me you know where to find me”.
“Wait what are you doing?”. I asked as he opened my window.
“Don’t worry they won’t see me”. He winked before making his way through.
I didn’t stop him. I let him leave and he didn’t look back.
Did I want to be with him? Yes, but what if I fall for him more and he ends it again? I wouldn’t put myself in that position again. I closed my window and curtains and sat on my bed to eat my dinner.
..
I heard my parents come to bed I was still wide awake. I couldn’t seem to switch off. Too busy making up scenarios in my head. I couldn’t see to stop thinking about him. He made me feel good, he made me feel alive and living for the first time.
I didn’t have a life. I did everything to appease my parents. Good grades, good girl. My life never felt like my own and yet when I was with Franko, I felt free. He had lit something inside me, and I didn’t want to put it out.
A sigh fell from my lips as I pushed my covers off and got out of bed. I was crazy, would be in so much trouble if I got caught but I couldn’t settle until I said what I needed to say.
Did I know what that was? Heck no but I wanted to see him. No, I needed to see him. I hated how I was acting over this whole thing, but I couldn’t stop. He had worked his way into my head and was slowly working his way to my heart.
I heard the light snores coming from my parents’ bedroom as I made my way downstairs. My stomach was in knots as I reached the front door. Sneaking out wasn’t me. I didn’t do this sort of thing and yet tonight I had to.
I slipped my feet in my sneakers and grabbed my jacket from the cupboard under the stairs. Taking a deep breath, I unlocked the front door and made my way to my car.
It wasn’t late but it was late enough for me not to be out.
I started my car and made my way to the clubhouse. I wasn’t sure if he would be there, but I didn’t want to go to his parents’ house at this time. When I pulled up outside, I wasn’t sure I had made the right decision.
I was glad I parked on the opposite side of the road and away from the club. I could hear how loud the music was and could see a few bodies hanging around outside. I chewed the inside of my cheek as the nerves rose in the pit of my stomach.
Here I was making all these crazy decisions but didn’t have the balls to go inside. But I had to see him. But what if he was in there with another girl? How stupid would that make me look?
I didn’t want to look stupid in front of everyone inside. I didn’t want to embarrass myself. I took a deep breath as I unclipped my seatbelt and opened my door. It was now or never.
I tried to stop my hands from shaking. Even though I had been here before it was still daunting, especially when I hadn’t been invited. This wasn’t just a bar that you could walk into off the street.
“And there I thought you didn’t show face at the clubhouse”. He smirked.
Marko. He was the last person I wanted to see. He was sat with a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other. Not mention the blonde girl sitting in his lap.
“He’s inside drowning his sorrows sweetheart”.
He was? Why?
I somehow had forgotten how my legs worked. I couldn’t move, it was like my feet were stuck to the ground.
“She the reason he’s not fucking tonight?”. The girl asked.
I frowned. Did I hear her right?
She was on the ground quicker than I could blink. He had pushed her off his knee and stood up. “Watch your fucking mouth. You don’t talk shit when it comes to his old lady”.
My mouth became dry.
“What the fuck Marko I didn’t say anything bad about her”. She picked herself up and took herself inside.
What in the hell was going on?
“Want me to get him for you?”. He asked.
I nodded.
“Little lady”. Rusty grinned. “Come sit you’ll be all right here”.
I remember him from that night at the diner. I made my way over to where he was sitting and took a seat.
“You remember Taz, right?”.
I nodded.
“We’re just about to start a new hand sweetheart. You want dealt in?”. Taz asked.
I shook my head. “I wouldn’t know what to do”.
“Franko know you were coming?”. Rusty asked.
I chewed the inside of my cheek. “Not really”. Did I need to tell him I was coming? Was that part of their rules? I couldn’t just show up when I wanted? Well not that I did that anyway part from the times I did.
“Should you be out this late darling?”.
“No, no I shouldn’t, I should probably go. It was nice seeing you”. I made a face as I got to my feet.
It was nice seeing you? Why did I say that?
“Hold a minute sweetheart cause he’ll want to see you”. Rusty smiled.
As the door to the clubhouse opened my eyes landed on Markos. My shoulders sagged as disappointment filled me. He obviously didn’t want to see me. I swear all we did was go round in circles.
“Come inside darling and I’ll take you to him”.
I pursed my lips. Did I really want to go inside? It was already late, and I couldn’t stay out all night.
“I’ll just see him tomorrow”. I spoke about turning and walking back to my car.
Another wasted trip.
“Aubrey hold up”. He came running after me. “You two alright?”.
“Just peachy no thanks to you”. I crossed my arms over my chest.
A laugh fell from his lips. “This cause I asked if I had a shot with you?”.
Why was he laughing? This wasn’t funny, nothing about this situation was funny. He opened his big mouth and ruined what could have been a beautiful relationship.
Wait did I just think that?
“Why would you ask that?”. I frowned.
He shrugged. “Had to see if you were the real deal”.
“What does that mean?”. I asked.
“Lot a girls don’t come here for the picket fence darling but you ain’t like them other girls, are you?”.
Picket fence? I had no idea what he was talking about.
“Other girls?”. I whispered.
“Aye darling girls that come here for one thing and one thing only but you’re different ain’t you. You like him”.
I nodded.
“Then go inside and sort his fucking face out. Fuckers in some mood”.