*Keera*
The water was cooler than I remembered. I needed some time to sort out the thoughts in my head and the lake had been the only place that came to mind. Grayson would probably think I was trying to piss him off if he could see me right now. Not like I cared much for what he thought. I stepped further into the lake, feeling the water rise up my legs. I stopped when the water slowly began getting deep. Coming here all by myself was one thing. Letting myself get drowned in the water was an entirely different thing.
I could only imagine what everyone would say after I’d been discovered.
I twisted my body until I was floating in the water, shutting my eyelids and letting my thoughts run wild. I’ve been waiting for Grayson to give his feedback about having the cameras set up in the pack but so far he had chosen to remain silent. I knew I had to bring it up again myself if we were ever going to reach a conclusion.
“Is this some sort of new routine?” A voice asked, startling me. I couldn’t hold back the frightened jerk that rocked my whole body. Letting out a calming breath, I flayed my hands until I was upright again, my legs pointing downwards in the water. I stared at Grayson as he took his clothes off, trying to hide the fact that I’d been completely unaware of my surroundings. Something told me he wasn’t going to be happy with it.
Why was he here anyway?
I watched him get into the water, fighting the urge to stare at the printing of his cock on his briefs. He headed towards me in all his alpha glory, his gaze never leaving mine. “What are you doing here?” I asked, barely resisting the urge to wrap my arms around my body in an attempt to cover myself up. I was wearing a bikini and panties but I felt as though I was completely naked. I pushed my hair behind my ears, frowning when he chose to disappear beneath the water rather than answer my question.
He resurfaced a few seconds later, his hair now darker than before from being wet. The tiny droplets of water on his broad chest glistened under the sunlight. He met my state then, his eyes darkening. “I should be asking you that, Keera.” There was something deliberate in the way he said my name. He dragged his gaze over the length of my body, lingering over my chest a second longer.
“Is this something I have to get used to?” He murmured beneath his breath, staring fixedly at my lips. “Coming out here and finding you. . .” His eyes connected with mine. “Half naked.” A shiver rolled through me at the low timbre of his voice. I had to leave. Now. This was dangerous. Being alone with Grayson when neither of us was fully clothed and he was staring at me the same way a kid would stare at a forbidden dessert was a recipe for disaster.
I ignored his question, making a show of trying to squeeze water out of my hair. “I think I should head back. . .” I said slowly, moving past him to get back into my clothes. I froze when he shot out an arm and gripped my waist, successfully halting my movement. He circled my maddening pulse with his thumb, his breath tickling my ear.
“Why are you running?” His voice was hoarse, reaching down and stroking parts of me I didn’t want to admit. The hair at the back of my neck peeled away from my skin. I subtly touched my other hand to my chest, willing my heart to calm down, trying to slow down my breathing. I pulled my hand, trying to free myself from his grip but he wouldn’t let go.
“I’m not,” I finally answered pleadingly. I had to leave before either of us did something stupid. I tried to free myself from his hold once again but he held on even tighter. I turned my head, meeting his eyes. My breath caught in my throat. God, just standing this close to him was intoxicating. I could count the gold flecks in his eyes. Could see how perfectly arranged his eyelashes were. I could see the thoughts in his head clearly written in his eyes.
“Grayson, you have to let me go,” I whispered in a bit of panic. “You hate me, remember?” He gently steered me backwards, stepping so close to me our chests brushed. He searched my eyes and I quickly broke our gaze, trying to hide the truth from him. The truth about what I was really feeling. Because I knew he would take one look into my eyes and know.
Know that I was dying for him to close the distance between us and kiss me.
His forehead met mine, goosebumps dotting my skin when his breath fanned my face. “I could only wish I hated you, Keera.” He confessed torturedly, his voice so low I could barely make out his words. “Maybe then I would have been able to stop myself from doing this.” My heart raced. Doing what? I didn’t get a chance to ask the question out loud.
Because he brought his lips down on mine.
My eyes fluttered shut. He delved his tongue into my mouth, his hand coming to rest gently against my chin. I tried to remember all the reasons we shouldn’t be doing this but couldn’t. I was too busy getting high from the feel of his lips on mine, his tongue in my mouth. He tasted like sin itself. Like all my bad decisions rolled in one. But then again, my bad decisions had never tasted sweeter.
He slid his tongue against mine, the slow seductive motion making my knees buckle. I wrapped my arms around his neck, my fingers digging into his hair as I lost myself in his kiss. His hand found my waist, gently pulling my body closer until I felt like I could combust from all the places our bodies were touching. The weight of his body felt so good the way it was, pressed against mine. Butterflies fluttered wildly in my stomach when he tilted his head to kiss me even deeper.
I slowly ran my hand down his chest, an alarm bell going off in my head when he quickly clasped my wrists tightly to stop me. He pulled away, gently letting go of my hand and making me feel like I’d been doused with a bucket of water and yanked out of a dream. My heart slowed and began racing all over again for entirely different reasons. I watched as he rimmed his lips right, running a hand down his face and expelling a long breath. “We shouldn’t,” He said quietly.
My cheeks heated up in mortification.
I looked away from him, wishing the lake could somehow drown me in that moment. Anything to save me from what felt a lot like rejection. Why had I put my hands on him? I’d been caught under his spell from the moment his lips touched mine and he. . . I inwardly winced, unable to even complete the thought. Did he regret kissing me? Was it that bad?
Of course it was, I said to myself.
When was the last time I’d kissed someone?
I gave him a small nod even though I was dying of humiliation on the inside. “You’re right,” I agreed calmly. It didn’t matter how much I didn’t like the fact that he’d been the one to end the kiss. I knew better than to let us go down this road when it could never end well for either of us. “I don’t know what I was thinking.” I couldn’t help but mutter under my breath, forgetting he could easily catch it.
“It’s not your fault, it’s mine.” He stated. “I was the one who’d kissed you.” And you clearly regret it, I almost shot back. I’d gone and gotten carried away when he must’ve been trying to figure out how he could end it. The pain I felt at the thought was almost physical. Later I would beat myself up for being such a fool. Now I needed to get as far away from him as possible. “Can I go now?” I asked, unable to control the cutting edge in my tone.
None of this would have happened if he’d just let me go in the first place. I didn’t bother waiting for his reply. I folded my arms at my waist, moving past him and quickly getting into my clothes. I was quiet my entire journey back to the pack house. I quickly got into the bathroom, determined to wash off the memories of the kiss and forget about it.
It was the biggest lie I’d ever told myself.
***
Ginny was in the kitchen when I came down hours later after waking up from a short nap. I tried not to squirm under her gaze as I walked to the fridge to get water. I stalled as much as I could but when I turned back around, it was still to find her staring at me. Guess I was the only one feeling the awkwardness in the room. “What?” I asked casually, squinting my eyes at her.
She obviously had something on her mind.
She lowered the plastic cup in her hand, moving her hair behind her ear. “You seem a bit stressed,” She confessed. I shrugged casually, chugging down the water I’d taken out of the fridge. “Like a lot of things are on your mind and you’re having a hard time sorting them out.”
“You’re not wrong,” I replied simply. Her expression turned sympathetic. I knew the only reason she didn’t ask why I was stressed was because she naturally assumed it was because of the case. Not that she was entirely wrong. She just had no idea it was way more than that. I shoved my thoughts aside. The last thing I wanted to do was reminisce about my kiss with Grayson while Ginny was in the room.
She nodded distractedly, bringing the cup to her lips as she studied me. “You can talk to me, you know,” She suggested lightly. I held. her gaze for a minute before nodding once. I could talk to her, it still didn’t mean that I should. She wasn’t nearly ready to hear the conflicted feelings I was having for her twin brother. I tried stalking out of the room.
“I was extremely jealous, you know,” Ginny blurted, halting my steps. It turned to her, my forehead wrinkling. Jealous of what? She flushed, looking embarrassed by her own words. I arched an eyebrow when she remained silently. Her gaze cut to the kitchen island. “When I noticed how close you were with Lexi,” she explained.
Oh.
“I’d like to think I did a good job hiding it,” She gave me a small smile that showed regret. “But I could help but remember we used to have that. . . in the past.” I blinked, unsure how I was supposed to respond. Telling her we might never go back to the way we used to be didn’t seem right. I didn’t have anything against her anymore but six years was a whole lot of time to have gone without some form of communication. We were entirely different people now.
Six years ago, I never would have thought I’d ever willingly lock lips with her brother. Six years ago, I thought I’d be there by her side when she fell in love or got married or had her first child. She’d always been such a hopeless romantic. In hindsight now, I realized that all those times that she’d gone on and on about meeting her soulmate what she’d actually meant was finding her fated mate. In the end I said the only thing that felt right under the circumstance.
“Yeah, we did.”