*Lucia*
As I watched Bruno leave with Natasha, I felt a thug of pain in my heart. I didn’t want him to go. I wanted him to stay. I wanted to speak with him. I am at war with myself. This is a man I should be hating on. This is a man that had bought me. I sigh. He was making it hard for me to hate him.
I reflected on what Bruno had done earlier. He had beaten up that old lag. He didn’t care if he was a VIP in the club or anything. He didn’t care to find out what had happened, who was in the wrong or anything. I had seen him fire some of the staff for their slightest mistake. But he was different when he got to me.
I couldn’t stop replaying the scene, and couldn’t stop revisiting the moment. For a moment, I felt bad about hating him. Maybe he didn’t deserve my hate. Or I didn’t deserve his kindness.
I knew this wasn’t the first time Bruno had saved me. This wasn’t the first time he had stood up for me. I remember how he saved me from death. Thinking back to that moment, it occurred to me that I would have died if he hadn’t saved me on that day.
And I didn’t thank him.
I was grateful he saved me though he didn’t get to hear it from me. He wasn’t angry that I tried to escape but cared about my safety instead. He had taken care of me even after saving me. He made sure I was nursed back to health.
Bruno has always had my back. I hate to admit it, but he was the only one I had in the world. He is the only one that is always here for me and though I try to deny it, he has a big space in my heart. I enjoy his company and want to work closer to him. I wanted to pay him for saving my life by working for him.
Though I didn’t want to work as a receptionist at first, I couldn’t say the same now. Not because I like the job but because he was here. I saw him more. I didn’t have to sit alone at home and drown in worry while waiting for him to come home early. I wanted to keep eating with him in his office.
My mind reverted to all the times we had made out. All those times where it has been just the two of us in a room. All those times his lips were on mine. All those times his hands were on my body as he traced them.
He made me feel good.
And though sometimes I feel like I shouldn’t be doing it, I never wanted him to stop.
I was so confused. I don’t know what to do. Bruno has never told me he loves me but I am sure I am not just any girl to him, I know that I am important to him. There was no need to justify that. No, that has already been justified by his actions. Though he was rough with me at the beginning, it was always mixed with a bit of gentleness.
My eyes were fixed on the door.
He wasn’t returning, what was he speaking to Natasha about? I began to wonder if I should just go to him. Maybe I should meet him so we can continue our discussion.
The realization of Bruno’s true intentions made me understand how important he is to me. I wanted to make things right. I stood up and took steady steps to the door. Maybe I should meet him. A cool breeze brushed against my face as I walked out of the office in search of Bruno.
It didn’t take long before I found him in a corner. The place was lit with a dim bulb which hung on the ceiling. He stood under with Natasha standing next to him. They seemed to be fully into whatever conversation they were having. I walked closer to them. The curious part of me wanted to listen to whatever they were talking about.
“but maybe I should remind you not to go too far with Lucia. We both know she is just a plaything. You don’t truly need her. This isn’t the first time you get close to a girl who piqued your interest only to let her go when your curiosity has finally been satisfied,” I heard Natasha say and my eyes widened.
I tried to convince myself that she was wrong. I was no plaything to Bruno. But the more I tried to remove such words from my head, the more it resounded. So loud that I couldn’t bear to stand there anymore. I walked away from there.
My heart thudded with anger with each step I took.
No, maybe it wasn’t just from anger. It was more of a disappointment. I felt stupid. To think I regretted that I hated him. I foolishly wanted to make things right with him.
I should have known that this is what he did. I should have known that he wasn’t one to give his heart to someone. He was all nice and sweet to me because I piqued his interest, I just couldn’t believe this. I felt a sharp pain run through my spine.
I felt broken.
Tears threatened to fall from my eyes but I held it in. I didn’t want to look weak. The last time I felt this broken and weak was when I found out Jason sold Me, And just when I thought I could finally say someone had my back I turned out to be a toy to him. Something he could use and dispose of.
I walked back to the office. I’ll pretend like I didn’t hear him. I’ll go back to how I was before. There was no need to try and be nice to him. I didn’t care if Natasha had him. She could have him for all I care. They were a match made in heaven.
I sat on the sofa and kept my eyes fixed on the door. A part of me wanted Bruno to walk in so we could continue the discussion we were having before Natasha came but the other part didn’t want him to come. The other part waited for him to stay with Natasha because I couldn’t face him. I was afraid I’d break down.
Soon the door opened and Bruno walked in. He walked to me and sat on the sofa. I adjusted, creating space between the both of us. He noticed this and frowned but I could care less.
“I’m sorry I took time.” I nodded. His eyes were fixed on me and it made me somehow uncomfortable but I tried to keep a straight face. “I’m sorry I had to cut our conversation short and keep you waiting,” he began. “We can talk about whatever you were about to say now,” he said and I almost scoffed in his face.
“There is nothing I want to discuss with you anymore,” I said calmly, trying not to sound rude or show any emotion in my voice. “Do you not want to speak to me earlier?” He asked.
“I think I’ve told you everything I wanted to speak about,” I said to him to see him furrowed his brow. “Are you perhaps angry?” He asked me.
“Is there a reason I should be?” I asked him. I wanted to know what was in his head. Who did he think I was? If he thinks I am an easy girl simply because I was bought by him then he has a lot of rethinking to do.
“No… there’s none. I shouldn’t have gone out with Natasha to discuss with her.” He paused after apologizing. “So can we talk now?” He asks. I closed my eyes, trying to steady the strange and indescribable emotions that ran through my veins.
“I have nothing to say, Bruno. You can forget about whatever I was saying,” I said and he shook his head. “I don’t think I can,” he says, looking straight into my eyes. I looked away quickly. I was unable to hold his gaze. My resolve was already being shaken by the fact that he was sitting very close to me and was demanding to know what was wrong.
“You wanted to say something and I want to hear it, Lucia,” he says..
“You think you can order me to speak?” I asked him. I couldn’t hide the anger that I was feeling anymore. “No, I never said that Lucia,” he says quickly. His voice was softer and he tried to touch me but I adjusted to the end of the sofa.
It was then he dawned on him that I was serious about not speaking with him. “Did I do anything wrong?” He asked softly. I scoffed, shrugging my shoulders. If only he knew I had overheard his conversation with Natasha, he would drop this stupid act.
“If I did tell you I’ll apologize and make sure whatever it is is fixed,” he said. For a brief moment, I contemplated telling him about what I heard. “I thought you said it was hard for you to hate me?” He says. I bite my inner cheeks wondering why on earth I had said them. “It’s obvious that I didn’t do something to offend you,” he says.
“Change is constant Bruno I’m sure you are aware of that,” I said, hinting at the fact that I didn’t like him or wanted to say whatever it was again. “I changed my mind about telling you. I have the right to do so,” I said, my eyes holding all the anger in the world.
“Is this about Natasha?” He asked.
“What if it’s about her?” I said before I could stop myself.
“So it’s really about Natasha,” he said. I saw him grit his teeth.
“It’s not about Natasha,” I said defensively.
“You don’t have to worry about Natasha. She is just a friend,” he paused, shaking his head as if he had said something wrong. “We are just friends, she works for me.” He says.
“I never asked for an explanation. You seem to forget that you don’t owe me any explanation,” I said, reminding him in case he forgot.
“I do. I just don’t want any misunderstanding between us.” I heard him say.
“I think you should change your profession. How about being an actor? You seem to be good at pretending.” I said sarcastically
“Now where is all that coming from?” He asked.
I decided to tell him about what I heard.
“I heard your conversation with Natasha.” I began. I paused to look at his expression but it didn’t change. ‘Maybe it was no big deal after all,’ I thought.
“Don’t you want to hear what I heard?” I asked him. He nods with his eyes fixed on me, “You are making it hard for me to hate you. You are being nice to me. You treat me right. You protect me. Why?” My heart tugged as I said this.
I didn’t want to look weak in front of him but right now I didn’t care. I knew I was attracted to this man. I won’t say I like him. yet as I wasn’t sure of what I felt but I knew the last thing I wanted was for him to play with my feelings.
“What are you talking about Lucia?” He asked.
“You know what I am talking about. Never pegged you for one who would pretend Bruno,” I said. He tried to move closer but I extended my hands stopping him, “don’t come closer,” I said and he stopped immediately. I couldn’t hold it in anymore, a drop of tears fell from my eyes.
It hurts to hear that I was a play thing, “what did you hear?” Bruno asked. His voice was mixed with urgency and curiosity.
“Am I just a plaything to you?” I asked him. My heart thudded as I anticipated his answer.
What was he going to say?