The music stops along with the singing as I ask that question. At the same time Venus’s violet knowing gaze settles on me.
A small smirk stretches across her face.
“Same way I know you’re jealous, observation.”
I glare at her and grind my teeth knowing I’m in a rut.
Denying Venus’s suspicions or ‘observation’ is like telling Killer’s sister, Kylie to shut up, pointless”And what is it you have observed regarding Killer, Doc.” I keep the sarcasm to a minimum but I can’t deny it isn’t there.
But Venus as usual doesn’t give a shit.
“He spent 18 minutes extra in the shower yesterday plus another 18 this morning. Killer doesn’t take thirty minutes in the shower washing his crack dumbass.”
She saunters off, her hair open and swishing as she walks away.
And that’s one of the many reasons I wish Venus was a guy so I could knock her out without having the fear of getting castrated.
Deciding to ignore the loud squeals coming from the lounge area, I head for the kitchen for an early lunch. The faint smell of roasted chicken that Chadley made this morning wafts through the air and my stomach growls.
They should be back by now.
I open the double door to the kitchen and Chadley is bent over the bucket, squeezing the mop.
Her hair hidden underneath that grey woollen hat her ma gave her last Christmas. I thought she threw it out.
She’s the only girl in the club I haven’t ever fucked because she’s Falon’s cousin, so off-limits in my book.
That doesn’t mean we ain’t friends.
I walk past her and smack her hard on the ass. I’m caught off guard as she assaults me with the mop.
First a hard swat to the leg.
“Stop, shit.” My voice booms through the kitchen.
But she doesn’t listen, and I have my arm across my face blocking the crazy woman.
When she lifts the broom to hit me again, I grab the mop. “Enough of this shit,” I bellow.
“You had no business slapping my ass.” The unmistakable voice sends a sick thrill through me.
But the death glare and the fact that she’s probably plotting my murder reminds me to tread with caution.
“Didn’t know it’s you Beauty, thought you were Chadley.”
She gives me a doubtful look that I return with a straight one.
Yeah baby, bring it on. We stay like this, in a staring competition until Killer walks in.
“What’s going on?” He’s asking me but his eyes are trained on Beggar who has since dropped her black depths to the white kitchen floor.
Like a true submissive.
The thought fills my mind for the umpteenth time. Am I wasting my time? I watch Killer.
His need to own her is as clear as my need to protect her, save her.
He won’t wait much longer before he owns her. The question is, does Beggar want to be his property?
“Nothing, no biggie,” She mumbles and starts walking away toward the outside door.
I’m not sure how or when but I’m starting to understand why I go after her.
“You just wait a minute.”
Her answer is to walk faster away toward the lake.
“Beauty.”
Her body spins around. “Don’t call me that, it’s Beggar, just Beggar, you had no problem calling me that earlier.”
She doesn’t raise her voice but I can tell she really wants to.
What’s holding her back, what will it be like to see the firelight her black pools up? Does her skin flush when she’s angry?
I can’t deny this pull toward her, I won’t, not anymore.
“I’m sorry.”
The loose denim jeans she’s wearing hangs low on her hip bone and hides the slope of her body. The curve of her ass though gets the best spotlight.
Her hollowed narrow face loses the fight I saw a spark in her.
“Why are you following me Zero. Haven’t you said enough?!” The question is a rhetorical one.
I take a step closer to her and watch as she instinctively wraps her arms around her chest.
“You keep walking away from me, what the fuck am I supposed to do?”
“Easy, don’t follow me. The point of me walking away is to get away, from you.”
“You know for a girl who barely spoke a word to me this week and keeps walking away you awfully chatty.”
“Well maybe I just have something to say.”
Her snarky manner makes me grin as I close the distance between us.
“Yeah, well so do I. For starters to answer that earlier question, I can’t help following you.”
Her eyes search my own, her guard is impenetrable.
The truth in my eyes is right there for her to see and when she does, I watch in complete fascination as she lowers those high walls.
Beggar doesn’t move as I take another step closer. Close enough to touch her.
She lifts her black gaze to me and I get that same fucking knot in the pit of my stomach as the hairs at the back of my nape rise.
“I’m an asshole Beauty. A jealous asshole.”
She frowns at me, her straight nose scrunching up in confusion.
The downward curve of her lips straightens, it’s so subtle that you’ll never notice unless you really know her.
The sun from the left, heating the side of her face with a yellow glow.
“You, Jealous?” She snorts.
“What’s wrong with that?” I touch her jaw, a light whisper of my fingers and she gasps taking a step back the second I make contact.
I can’t help the glint in my gaze, watching her.
I watch her readying to flight as she checks the time on a black watch on her wrist, but not really checking it, just making a show of doing it.
At any other moment it’ll be the funniest thing watching her squirm but not now.
I don’t want her to walk away from me.
“I gotta get back to Aron.” She goes to turn her back on me.
I grip her elbow and pull her back to my front stopping her retreat.
Her ass is right there on my cock that’s hardening fast.
She’s my perfect fit. Her head touches my chin as she fits into my body like she was meant to be there.
Like I’ve held her before a thousand times over.
I close my eyes at the overload of emotions rushing in me.
And for the first time, my arms lock around Beggar.
She shakes and fights me, her sneakers kicking me on my legs as her blunt nails scratch my arms violent enough that it’s already reddening.
I bend my head and whisper the command in her ear,
“No!”
“Please just let me go, let me go, let me go…” She says it over and over again, and I just hold her tighter knowing the answer to that question.
“I can’t Beauty, that’s the problem. I can’t let you go.”
The rise and fall of her chest increase, but I won’t let her go. I need her to calm to me.
I have to trust my gut that I’m doing the right thing, it’s never let me down before.
And I won’t doubt myself now when I’m facing off the hardest battle of my life.
Not when I’m going for Beggar’s trust.
“Shsh… I got you Beauty, you safe with me, you know I’ll never hurt you, sssshhh, you safe, it’s me Zero. You wanna know my real name, it’s Logan. My dad said it was meant for girls but my ma insisted she names me.” I rock her slowly in my arms as she mumbles words and nods her head at my small talk but I don’t let her go. I can’t.
My arms serve as a cage but also a shield around her.
The airy scent I’ve come to know is Beggars, wafts through my nose as I sway her in my arms.
Her shakes become weaker until she’s just still, but I don’t give her the choice to go under,
“Wanna know why I call you Beauty?”
“No,” she croaks softly.
“When I first saw you, it was your eyes that held me captive. I’ve never seen black eyes on such pale skin before. I just stood there staring at you from all the way across the road, do you know that?”
She shakes her head, and I kiss her hair inhaling her.
“When I look at you it reminds me of a story my ma told me, about a horse named black beauty, a wild horse that wouldn’t be tamed but no one cared because it was just so beautiful to look at, like you.”
She starts fighting me when I say it.
Her head thrashes from side to side getting me in the mouth.
I taste the copper on my tongue but it’s nothing to her words, they slay me.
“I’m not beautiful, I’m a filthy dirty beggar, I’m a filthy dirty beggar, let me go please, I’m a filthy, dirty, beggar.”
“No!” My voice is firm and stern as I rest my head on her shoulder.
“You know I can’t do that; I’m never going to be able to let you go. You got me in fuckin’ spades woman. I know I hurt you this morning, you gave me something special and I fucked up. But I came back, had to clear my head, think shit through, and you know what I thought, you know who I thought about? You. Who’s the one I want? You. Who is the one I care about? You again. Who would I die for? You.
I’m going to leave Falon because there’s no point wasting her time. And you and I are going to explore this between us, ’cause Beauty this what we have, this thing it’s fuckin’ crazy. Somethin’ we gotta hold onto, this don’t happen for anyone, but it’s happening between us and I know you got some hang-ups and I got them too, but we gonna work on that together okay. You gotta trust me, you gotta trust this.”
I’m silent as I glance up into the setting sun, and the woman made just for me wrapped in my arms,
“You gotta give me a chance to catch you when you heading for that cliff, yeah. Because baby I’m gonna catch you, there’s no fuckin’ way around it.”
She whimpers and I know she’s listening. I know what I’m saying, I know what I’m feeling,
I know she’s feeling it too. I wanna spend my night in this woman’s arms. I’m done wasting time.
Falon and I will never have this, whatever the fuck it is because I can only have it with this woman. This is the woman that’s made for me.
“You gonna give us a chance, yeah, and you gonna let me show that whoever hurt you, whoever did this to you they will NEVER touch you again. I’ll never let them hurt you again Beauty, as bright as the sun shines, I’ll hunt the motherfucker down and I’ll kill him.”
She whimpers and I know she’s gonna clock out, but it’s fine because she’s mine now and when she falls, I catch her in my arms just like I said I would.
I make my way back into the Clubhouse but stop when I see Killer.
He doesn’t say anything, I don’t say fuck all too. But our eyes say it for us.
He’s going to back off, he knows what I have with Beggar is something. But I also know that if I fuck it up, I won’t get a chance with her again.
He’ll own her whether she wanted it or not. And I won’t be able to stop him. No one will.