I have a room. An actual room with a shower inside and my own toilet. Killer explained to me that I’d have to clean it up myself, but it’s mine to decorate as I want.
No one has ever done anything for me, and this entire experience since I got here so far is so unreal, I wait for the show to end, for the players to stop acting and reveal their true selves.
I wasn’t really sure how to feel about it last night when Killer opened the room. A bed big enough for two filled the center and a white dresser with a mirror attached to it took the left side next to the bedroom door.
The one side of ‘my room’ has a window with two white wardrobes on either side. There’s a bathroom behind a white door directly opposite the blue linen covered bed that’s all mine.
Small dim lights glowed from the white ceiling. It was too much that I just stood staring. I never stayed in anything half as clean. Half as nice.
When he made to leave, I stopped him, asked him to stay while I fell off to sleep. With the devil in the room I thought he’ll keep the dreams away.
Killer is dangerous and a killer, maybe. But he isn’t the true evil.
He intimidated me.
Messed with my mind.
But this morning I watched how he cared for Chadley when she cut her hand slicing a pineapple.
When I woke up from a nightmare, he wasn’t touching me, wasn’t comforting me. He knew I didn’t like to be touched and I didn’t have to tell him.
Killer respected my wishes and for that I granted him permission to touch me. Apart of me knows he won’t do it unless it is necessary.
This morning I was woken up by a guy with blonde shoulder length hair and light blue eyes. Killer was gone. My door ajar.
My legs were off the bed in seconds. I paused to take in this man. He was smaller built than the others. Dressed in a grey track pants and loose white tee. I saw him with us in Washington, wearing a bandana over his head. He was one of the two guys who were at the club.
“I’m Spade, nice to see you well rested.”
“Yeah.”
He shoved a pack of clothes in my chest and a pair of tennis shoes next. He was careful not to touch me or get too close.
“You’re on kitchen duty. Move your ass, you got 10 minutes to be downstairs or I’m coming back up.” He was gone.
It was half that time before I was downstairs.
A new day, a new start.
I’m mopping the floor to Dorothy – raise hell. The flap door to the kitchen shoves my weightless thoughts out. I spin around, mop in hand and squint my eyes to the group of females shuffling in the kitchen.
Venus is the one in front. Falon to her right wearing a white shorts and matching tank top. Damn she’s tiny.
“How ya doing Beggar?” Venus asks in an over cheerily voice.
I can admit that I’m a bit startled.
These women haven’t been overly welcoming to my arrival.
“Okay. Wassup?” I reply, my defense unbidden.
Falon steps forward, the red headed girl is sexy as well as confident.
“I wanted to thank you for saving me. And thought we might go out, shopping and dancing, my treat. What do you say Beggar?”
I stare at her, I’m a bit stunned.
Well speechless, yeah, that’s it.
She wants to take me shopping and dancing. I glance at the other girls. Chadley, with her big blue eyes, small pesky nose and round face stares at me in encouragement.
Weird.
Her purple hair is wicked though.
Venus got a small smirk on her lips, no doubt she’s in charge.
I can see it by her stance and the way Wisp stands behind her, shooting me daggers but quickly diverts her gaze when Venus turns around to face her.
The entire scene makes me wanna laugh. I’m in one of these girl’s old clothes. Mop in hand, hoody on.
They are all dressed, with make-up and shit, all girly, lots of hips and tits on display.
The kitchen that was smelling thick of disinfectant minutes ago is now mixed with various smells of feminine perfumes.
They sure as shit make an effort.
“Yeah, okay. When’s this happening?” My vibe is relaxed, but inside I’m laughing.
It’s clear to me that if the girls weren’t forced by Venus, they wouldn’t have asked me shit.
Falon already thanked me yesterday.
She doesn’t seem like the type to dwell on much and has enough to worry about with a sick father than me.
And Wisp thinks I stole her man, but we both know that shit ain’t true. And Chadley, well she just doesn’t seem like she really considered me actually a part of the house.
I don’t blame her.
I like invisibility.
The other girl Jade is gone, she left the minute we got back.
Venus however did share a few words but she wasn’t sending me invitations to become pals and shit in the future.
This means, the orders came from higher up. Maybe I should be hurt by this, but fuck, they’re offering me a night out and shopping.
They know I’m broke so I won’t be paying for shit.
When you on the streets you learn when to fight your battles and when to deal your hand.
But mostly you learn when to take the little moments you get to live and triple it into months of the best memories you’ll ever have.
“Saturday after your shift, so around 5-ish. And before I forget, your training finishes at 3 today,” Venus shares, “Consider it your one and only boon.”
I stare at Venus, not sure I’m hearing correct,
“Training?”
She smiles, “Yes, training. You officially a Prospect. And as a Prospect, you have to undergo the training program. As well as a part-time job which starts Saturday.”
My gaze darts to Wisp who’s face looks stoic.
“Do I get paid?”
“Yeah, you get an allowance as all the Prospects. And a monthly salary for working. But you only start earning pay next month.”
When my face cracks in a smile, I feel my cheeks stretching taut.
“We’ll see you later Beggar. Oh, and Chadley will loan you something to wear,” Falon says, while the others file out.
I nod, and she opens her mouth to say something else but catches herself and walks out.
All too soon, I’m mopping the light grey kitchen tiles, that Killer insists are white.
My thoughts are on how much I’m going to get paid.
And what the hell does Venus mean by training? I open the back door and lift the bucket up.
I practically jump out of my skin when a deep throat clears behind me.
The bucket of dirty water falls on the step and the grass as I spin around and find myself staring at the one man I don’t want to see, Zero.
“Are you just going to stand there or help me out.”
It’s then I notice he’s holding grocery bags in both hands and a pack of beer under his arm.
His face cracks at what I think is a partial smile.
He seems so relaxed today apart from the leather pants and black t-shirt of course.
It’s almost like he was… My mind screams to shut the thought down and my eyes widen as I stumble back.
Invisible fingers start chocking me.
The mop drops from my hand as I lift my arms to fend off my attacker.
“Don’t you dare!” Zero screams but this time I don’t listen to his command as I lose my footing, falling on the wet tiled floor.
I pull the invisible fingers constricting my air supply, my nails clawing my already bruised neck, my eyes bulging.
It’s too bad that it feels so real, that I can’t tell the present from the past.
My scream as I feel hands bind my own on top of my head is the last memory I have before I fade.
“Wake up, Beauty.” Zero’s imposing voice says to me.
“No.” I reply in a wince, the rawness of my throat informing me that I had an ‘episode’. It’s what a stripper called it when I flipped in front of her.
“Come on, you gotta drink some water, you’ve been out like a light for two hours.”
He actually sounds like he cares, concerned, ha.
“My names Beggar.” I clear my throat, my eyes still not open.
He laughs softly.
“No, it’s not, and as long as you refuse to tell me your name, I’m gonna call you Beauty. It’s suiting don’tcha think?” He drawls in a thick Texan accent.
I open one eye and instantly regret it.
He’s practically leaning over me and the big smile on his face is too much for me.
“No, I don’t think. Could you sit there.” I point to the bottom of my bed. He frowns and has a fucking nerve to look offended, as if.
“Why? Is my handsome face too much for you?”
I open both my eyes at the question.
“Handsome?” I snort and grimace when my throat pains.
“Scary, is more like it.”
He laughs as he leans closer.
My eyes grow wider, “What are you doing?” I hiss, “I don’t like to be touched, don’t you know.”
“I carried you upstairs and I can assure you that you liked it, don’t you know.”
I scramble into a sitting position, knees to my chest, hair falling over my face, hands-on my toes. Head to my knees but it doesn’t touch, it mustn’t.
“You have no reason to be scared of me Beauty. You know I would never hurt you. Someone else hurt you, not me. You wanna talk about it? Tell me who hurt you.” His tone drops, cajoling, like a professional predator leering its prey into servitude.
I watch his face from the gaps in my hair. He rakes his fingers through his hair before the same fingers go to play with the 3-inch scar under his eye.
“Do I?” I dry whisper as my head tilts to get a better glimpse at him through the small gap in my hair.
“Yes! Deep down you know. Drink your water Beauty, lunch is in twenty.”
“I’m not ready to share,” I say.
He stares really hard at me, as he can see me but it’s not possible because I’m covered right?
“You already have Beauty, and soon I’ll know all your secrets.”
Zero gets up and walks to the door.
I barely turn my head to watch him, seeing if he’ll turn.
He doesn’t.
I’m not sure what I feel when he closes the door. I just know it is dangerous, very dangerous.
The pudding next to my bed in line with the water just reinforces what I already know, dread, him being right.