I arrived home at 6 p. m. expecting to see Lena dressed, prepped and ready for fun; we were going out to dinner, then we were going to a club, or at least that was the plan; instead I found her pacing and muttering, nervous, edgy, and irritable.
I hugged her close, fondling her taut little bum cheeks as I nuzzled her, as per usual, but she was tense and tightly drawn, her body humming with nervous energy.
“What’s the problem, Princess?” I asked, conscious that this kind of tension was definitely not good for the baby.
She looked at me, her eyes troubled, and almost afraid, which put me on alert; Lena is fearless, outspoken, and not afraid of a confrontation, so something serious was up.
“Dar, it’s Lizzie… she’s on her way over… with the children!” she blurted out, her expression almost afraid.
“What if they don’t like me, what if they find out about… you know… us? What are we going to tell them, how on Earth are we going to explain it? Dar, I’m scared, I’m scared of some kids, I’m scared they’ll hate us, Dar what am I supposed to do? Tell me!”
I grinned over her shoulder; Lena had never been uncertain or unsure in her entire life, and now she was scared of a pair of kids? It was too much! I rubbed her back, feeling the muscles knotted and strained under my hands, so I began squeezing and gently massaging those knots and tense muscles, slowly relaxing her as she held onto me, her face buried in my shoulder. Eventually, she slumped against me, giving a gusty sigh as she relaxed, her muscles relaxed and un-knotted as some of the fear and apprehension drained away.
“There, feel better now?” I asked her, smiling as she leaned against me and kissed my ear.
“Much better, thank you baby!” she murmured, her fingers idly toying with the buttons on my shirt. She leaned back to grin at me, her eyes calm and unworried, her expression normal as she regained her balance.
“I meant what I said, though; what are we supposed to do if they ask about us, you and me and little Morgan in here?” she grinned, tapping her midriff lightly.
I grinned at her expression.
“We tell them exactly what we said we would; that I’m your boyfriend, Emma’s nephew, and that you’re Lizzie’s younger sister, that’s all they need to know for now. I’m not sure how they’ll react if we just blurt out that Lizzie’s actually my mother, because I still haven’t worked out yet just how the hell this baby is related to them! Occam ‘s razor, baby, ‘the simplest explanation is the one most likely to be true’ as my physics teacher used to tell us, so for now, little Morgan-baby is their new first cousin, which is true, sort of; later on, if it seems appropriate, we’ll tell them the truth, but for now, just the simple version, okay?”
Lena smiled back at me, happy to be reassured.
“Okay Dar, just the simple version for now, got it!”
She began bustling about, picking up and rearranging cushions, moving ornaments and putting them back, keeping herself occupied. The doorbell rang, and I jumped up to answer the door.
“Showtime, Lena, are you ready?”
Lena just looked up from her fiddling with the ornaments on the mantelpiece.
“It’s not Lizzie; too early. I asked Aunt Doreen to come over, that’ll be her now. Let her in, Dar, chop-chop, don’t leave her standing out there!”
I opened the door and there was my favourite aunt. I felt a little guilty seeing her; while Lena had been away I’d immersed myself in my work, keeping myself busy, and consequently had hardly spoken to Doreen in weeks, but her smile was the same, and she showed no sign of annoyance at my ignoring her. I suppose it was the little boy in me, but whenever my Aunt Doreen was around, I felt safe and secure; she was one of my most enduring symbols of family, and I loved her dearly. She handed me her light jacket and walked on into the sitting room, Lena immediately hugging her warmly; Min may have been Lena’s favourite aunt, but Doreen had a special place in her heart too, and I could see her relaxing as Doreen embraced her.
“Sit down, child, you’re supposed to be resting now; let Darryl do the running around, he’s big and ugly enough to do for himself, you need to take care of yourself and that baby!”
She grinned at me as she said it, and I couldn’t help but grin back; being twitted by Aunt Doreen was as much a part of my childhood as Lena, or school, or mum and dad.
I left them huddled together on the couch as I went to put the kettle on; Doreen was an inveterate tea-drinker, and I’d been making tea for her since I was eight or nine years old, so I knew just how she liked it. As I was busying myself in the kitchen warming the teapot and measuring out the tea, the doorbell rang again. Even in the kitchen I heard Lena’s sudden gasp. I smiled to myself and went to answer the door, knowing she’d be a bag of nerves all over again.
When I opened the door, Lizzie was standing there, and I could see Emma shepherding the children from the car. Even from a distance, I was struck by how much the girl (Allie, her name was Allie, remember that, I told myself…) resembled Lena; apart from the different hair colour, they could have been the same girl at that age, a leggy, coltish 12-year old, all knees and skinny arms and legs, but a dead-ringer for Lena nevertheless. The little boy had dad’s expression, that slightly bemused, good-humoured upward curve to his mouth, the same features, the same eyes. I stared in wonder; there stood my dad almost 60 years ago.
I ushered them all in, Lizzie and Emma both kissing my cheek, Allie shaking hands with me, her eyes roving across my features, then flicking over Emma’s, and the little boy, Marcus, gravely shaking hands with me as I introduced myself. I led them into the sitting room, Lena’s expression somewhere between terror and longing as her gaze fell on those two children, her eyes widening as she took in the little boy’s features. Lizzie smiled reassuringly at her.
“Hello Lena, thank you for allowing us to come over at such short notice. Kids, this is Lena, remember, I told you about her. Lena’s my little sister. Lena, this is Allie, and this,” she put her hand on his shoulder, “is Marcus. Kids, say hello to your aunt.”
Marcus waved shyly, and Allie grinned impudently.
“You’ve gotta be mum’s sister, you look just like her; been hiding, have you?”
Lena grinned, her stage fright abandoning her.
“Hello Allie, yes, I really am your mum’s sister; she left home before I was born, so I never knew her. I’m glad to meet you, though. And please, call me Lena!”
“Hello Lillibet!” said a soft voice from the other side of the room; everyone had been so intent on this first meeting that we’d forgotten Aunt Doreen was there, keeping well back.
Lizzie spun round, her eyes wide, tears suddenly brimming in them.