“You never once came back to ask him how your baby was, if he was alive or dead, happy, anything at all, not a fucking dickey-bird! Well Daddy and mum brought up your son like their own, they did everything for him that you couldn’t be bothered with, and my Darryl’s the man he is because of them and not because of you; six weeks ago we’d never fucking heard of you, right now I wish to Christ I’d never heard of you at all, ever! There’s nothing of you in him, nothing at all, he doesn’t even look like you, and I’m glad of that; it means he doesn’t have to see your face every time he looks in the mirror!”
I was shocked, deeply, at her outburst; Lena never loses her temper, she’s the most temperate and well-adjusted person I know, and now she was ramping-mad, her eyes blazing behind slitted lids, and her face livid, her chest heaving as she vented her fury on her absentee older sister.
She drew breath for another broadside, and I squeezed her hand.
“No, Princess, don’t, it’s bad for the baby!”
Lizzie had shrunk back in her seat in the face of Lena’s verbal onslaught, while Emma watched in shocked silence. At the mention of the baby, she cocked her head at me.
“She’s pregnant?”
I nodded.
“About six weeks along, just at the morning-sickness stage. I think it’s time you left, please, I don’t want her being agitated any more than she already is. I’ll give you dad’s number in Cyprus, you can call him, I suggest you do, almost the last thing he said before he left was that he never knew what he did to make you leave, perhaps you should let him know what the truth was, he deserves that, at least.”
As I said that, Lena buried her face in my shoulder, and I could feel her angry tears soaking though my shirt.
Lizzie nodded, fishing out a pen and address book from her purse. As she opened it, something fluttered out onto the ground. I bent and picked it up; a photograph of a boy and girl, about 8 and 12 respectively.
I looked at it, strange emotions roiling in me; this was my brother and sister, Marcus and Allie, Emma had said; she’d also said they looked like Lena, and she was right; obviously dad had some pretty strong genetic dominants to keep that hair, those eyes, and those features repeating through the generations like that. Lena got her hair from mum, but everything else was pure dad.
I went to hand it back to Lizzie, but Lena silently held out her hand for it, and Lizzie nodded at me, so I handed it to her. She looked for a long moment, then wordlessly handed it back to me and buried her face in my shoulder again. I held her close as I wrote the number and the address, her arm around my waist as I cradled her against me.
Lizzie watched me closely, one eyebrow slightly raised as she put her address book back in her purse, noting my hand stroking Lena’s hair and my lips almost kissing her as I whispered in her ear, soothing her after her angry outburst.
“Before I go, Darryl, can I ask you one thing?”
I nodded, more concerned with how Lena was taking all this, and her state after being so angry. “Sure, go ahead, ask away!”
“What did you do with your life, Darryl, did you go to university, did you make some good choices? I know it’s impertinent, and I have no right to ask, but I would like to know, please!”
Lena looked at her, her gaze level even though her eyes were puffy from crying.
“My Darryl is a doctor, he’s a Cardio-Vascular surgeon, at a good hospital; he made some good choices, and we helped and supported him; us, no-one else, just his family. Does that answer your question?”
Lizzie looked gratified.
“A surgeon! Robert would have been so proud of you, your grandfather would have been too, you’ve done so well, I know dad is proud of you and your… your mum, too, congratulations, I am so, so happy for you!”
She seemed genuinely pleased, and was just standing up when Lena spoke up.
“What are they like?”
Lizzie looked puzzled. “What are who like, Lena?”
“Marcus and Allie; what are they like, are they anything like you, worse, better, what are they like?”
Lizzie got a faraway expression on her face.
“Marcus is like his father; serious, quiet, studious, easygoing. Allie is the complete opposite; she’s loud, noisy, opinionated, single-minded, and loads of fun! Why did you want to know?”
Lena looked away.
“Much as I hate to admit any connection to you, you are my sister, and they are my nephew and niece, I suppose, and I just wanted to know what the missing part of my family is like; not you though, I think I know exactly what you’re like!”
Lizzie looked at her admiringly.
“You really take no prisoners, do you? Listen, I am going to try and apologise to my father, and maybe, in some small way, I can make it right with him again, before it’s too late. That’s all I can do, Lena, I have no sword to fall on, no hair shirt in my closet, no bed of nails to lie on for a penance, only my admission that I messed up badly; but not all of my life was screwed-up; he has two beautiful grandchildren, I got that part right! He should know about them, so he can see that for all my faults, at least I got at two things dead right! And now let me ask you a question; what did you mean when you said ‘my Darryl?”
Lena looked at me; I nodded, so she answered her.
“You already know, otherwise why ask; you just want to make me say it. OK, here it is. Darryl and I are together, why or how is none of your business, but we love each other, and this is our life, here, together, in this house that daddy gave us, a home for our child. Darryl is going to be a father, and we couldn’t be happier. Now go on, say something, I dare you!”
Lizzie grinned at her.
“You are so much like Allie! You’ll like her, and she’ll love you, you’ll get on like a house on fire! I won’t say anything to you about what you’re doing; there’s 25 years of ‘not my business’ wrapped around this, but I will wish you both all the best, and I would like to congratulate my sister on her upcoming happy event; being a mother was the best thing that ever happened to me, I just didn’t know it when Darryl was born; it was Allie’s birth that showed me that. It will be wonderful for you, too, I promise!”
She looked directly at Lena, a small smile on her face.
“I would like to see you again, both of you, as your older sister only; I don’t want to come between Darryl and his mum, that’s not my place, it never was. Maureen was a great mum, the best thing that ever happened to him, I can see that, a much better mother than I could ever have been. May I come and see you again, sometime soon? I know the kids would love to meet both of you.”
I looked at Lena, who was looking away, chewing her lip, always a sign she was undecided about something. I gently pulled her aside to murmur in her ear.
“Lena, how bad could it be? Let her do this, she didn’t do anything to you, if dad’s not mad at her, maybe you shouldn’t be either; and what have those two kids done to you? You saw them, they’re gorgeous!”
“I don’t know, Dar, it seems so… disloyal…”she muttered, and I grinned, understanding a little of what she was feeling. I had an idea.
“Baby, do you think that now, of all times, dad needs to know that his children are at loggerheads, over what? Something that happened so long ago that it doesn’t matter anymore? Think, Baby, dad needs all of us to be at peace, that’s all he wants, and this isn’t how to do it!”
She looked daggers at me.
“That was low and underhanded, how dare you even go there…!”
I stopped her.
“But true, nevertheless. Let it go, baby, it doesn’t matter to me, it shouldn’t matter to you, and truthfully, it doesn’t matter at all. Go on, make an effort, let her in; who knows, you might even like her!”
I could see her wavering, so slid in the trump card.
“Don’t you want to meet your nephew and niece? You saw that picture, didn’t you? He’s the image of dad, how could you walk away from that? Let them all in baby, you know you want to!”
She glared at me, then looked away, resting her head on my shoulder for a second or two.
“That obvious, huh? You’re right, she’s done nothing to me, and I don’t think dad would like it if I got into a slanging-match with her over ancient history! Okay, you win!”
I smiled to myself and patted her on her rump, making her grin at me, and wink. She kissed me lightly on the cheek, and whispered “And you’re right, they are gorgeous!” in my ear, before turning back to Lizzie.
“I would love to meet the children, please bring them; or Darryl and I could come and visit you. What are you going to tell them about him? Won’t they need to know he’s their big brother?”
Lizzie grinned.
“It’s going to be hard enough to explain who you are, let alone Darryl! For now, he’s your boyfriend; maybe he can be their Auntie Emma’s long lost nephew, seeing as he looks so much like her, and later, when they’re older, if you think they’re ready, we can tell them the full story in any way that seems best to you. How does that sound?”
Lena grinned, nodding.
“Okay, works for me; bring on the family!”
Lizzie grinned, and for just a second she looked like Lena when she was about twelve, that little girl smile that got lost as she matured. She seemed unsure how to leave, still not sure if she should, or could hug Lena, and as for me…
I resolved that for her by hugging her. There was nothing weird about it for me; she wasn’t my mother, that was mum, and she was thousands of miles away. No, this was just my girl’s big sister as far as I was concerned. Lizzie looked startled for a second, then smiled and hugged me back, patting me gently on the back, and whispering “Thank you, it’s more than I deserve!” in my ear. Lena followed suit, clinching for a mere second or so; she was still not quite ready to let Lizzie all the way in, and Lizzie got that, if her smile was anything to go by.