“Then who Sam?” Alex said. “You’re really scaring me. Do I need to take you to the hospital?”
Sam shook her head. “Nothing happened like that,” she said. “Well, not really.”
Alex tried to relax then, but the questions were to scary to leave unanswered.
“Then talk to me,” Alex said. “Please, you’re scaring me.”
Sam turned and looked at her sister then, and the stern, irritated facade that had been there melted away. Tears began to flow again and she leaned over and clutched at Alex.
“I feel like such a damn fool,” she said. “It’s fucking pissing me off.”
Alex, her eyes wide at how her normally calm and proper sister was speaking, nodded and brushed a strand of damp hair.
Sam sat up then, pulling at a stray string on her shorts. “Around the time of your birthday,” she said, “is when this all started.”
She sighed deeply.
“Pastor Dan paid me a little bit of money to help him with things after the service. It was mainly paperwork and stuff but he and I talked about life and things I did with Keith Michael. It was nice, and it felt good to do something for someone else.” Sam sighed, still picking at her shorts.
“I trusted him,” she said, brushing away a sudden tear. “I still don’t know what was real and what was a lie,” she admitted.
Alex nodded. “Just tell me what happened sweetie.”
Sam nodded. “One day, he confided in me that he was getting divorced,” she said. “He said that his marriage was over and that he was so sad. He started crying, so I started to hug him and comfort him. He kissed me.”
Alex raised an eyebrow.
“At first I was shocked and taken aback, but he was so apologetic and regretful,” she explained. “The next time I saw him, he apologized again and again. I finally told him that it was okay and that I had been thinking.”
She sighed. “I feel so stupid now, looking back and saying it out loud.”
“I don’t think you’re stupid,” Alex said.
Shaking her head and seemingly determined to continue, she wiped a tear away and kept explaining.
“It’s a little fuzzy, since it was a few months ago. I remember thinking that I had led him on and that it was my fault that he’d kissed me. He said that it was his and he had been so enamored of me that he just couldn’t control himself. I wanted to help him so bad because he was just so sad. He said he wanted to feel desired again and that he felt like he was losing touch with God. So, after my heart was breaking for him, I went over and kissed him. I told him that I wasn’t going to go all the way with him but that he could kiss me for a little bit.”
Alex nodded, still listening quietly.
“So he started getting really into it, and he starts playing with my boobs. I remember thinking that it was something he liked, and something that I knew would make him feel desired, which is what he said he missed, so I let him. Then, he stopped kissing me and said that he knew I couldn’t go all the way, so would a blowjob be okay?”
“Jesus,” Alex said.
Sam sighed. “I left immediately, but he stopped me and said that he was sorry and got carried away. I told him I’d never done that. He said he was wrong for asking, that it had just been so long that he wasn’t thinking straight. So I saw him a couple of times, on Wednesdays and Sunday afternoons,” she said. “We just kissed and talked for the most part. He’d try to go farther like taking my bra off or feeling me up again, but he’d apologize and tell me how much he was feeling like a real man and more virile.”
She shook her head. “I’m such an idiot,” she said. “Saying this out loud makes me realize what a naive little fool I was.”
“Just keep going,” Alex said.
Sighing deeply, she continued. “So I kept feeling like every time I was getting turned on, I was doing something wrong. I kept rationalizing it all by saying I was helping him. By doing that, I was able to be convinced that a blowjob wasn’t really all that bad.”
Alex covered her mouth in shock.
“So I started sucking off Pastor Dan,” she admitted. “I was pretty bad at first,” she said, “but I got a lot of practice,” she said. “He didn’t ever try and have sex with me though, and he kept telling me that I was helping him so much, and that he wasn’t hurting. I kept telling myself that when I got wet or excited that it wasn’t necessary, that I was doing everything to make him feel better.”
Alex nodded, still silent.
“He taught me how to swallow his cum as a wife would do for her husband, and helped me learn to take his cock all the way into my mouth and throat,” she said. She turned and looked at Alex, who was trying to cover the shocked look on her face.
“I thought he was really in need of my help, you know?” she asked.
Alex nodded.
“He started blindfolding me and would make me take two or three loads at once, or he’d strap me down and just… fuck my face with his cock,” she said. “I got to where I was having daydreams about swallowing his cum. I even let Keith have a blowjob or two at the end.”
Alex nodded again, still listening.
“So a few weekends ago, I had just finished swallowing another of his loads, and he took my blindfold off and I see his wife standing there,” she said. “This is where I get confused, because she told me that I had saved their marriage. She said that she’d been wanting to join in and that they had great plans for me.”
“I don’t understand, his wife was watching?” Alex asked.
Sam wiped a tear from her eye. “Pastor Dan had me strapped down to a bench like thing where I was on my hands and knees. I’d felt another person in the room and someone had started licking… you know…” she said, looking up at Alex.
“She gave me an orgasm and that’s why he took the blindfold off and he told me it was Amanda, his wife. I was so confused and turned on. That had been my very first one, and I desperately wanted to do it again. I remembering thinking that he’d lied to me. But she assuaged my fears and assured me that they hadn’t lied, and that I’d really helped them. So for a few weeks, I’ve been their little sexual plaything,” she said. “She made me go down on her a few times, and had me wear a vibrator during church service. They made me give Keith a blowjob while he was driving, and I watched them having sex in front of me while I pleasured them as much as I could.”
She started crying again then as Alex pulled her close. “I just feel so dirty,” she admitted. “So I got a text from them today,” she said, shaking her head in a show of determination. “I went over and started eating Amanda’s pussy. She had already brought me off and I was really getting into it when Pastor Dan came up behind me. I thought he was going to come around and let me have his dick again, but he put his hands on my hips and started rubbing the tip against my …”
She shook more tears away, brushing aside Alex’s hands. “I realized what he was doing so I got up and immediately tried to leave, but he apologized again and said he was sorry. He started to cry and I felt bad. I mean… I had no reason not to trust him up to that point,” she said. “He was sitting on the bed and I felt so bad that I went over and started to suck his cock again,” she said. “Just as he was going to let me… when he was going to cum in my mouth, he stood up and sprayed it all over my face and in my hair. He stepped away from me and then told Amanda to get “that slut” up and out of his house.”
Alex covered her mouth in shock again. “That motherfucker,” she said.
Sam cried again for a few seconds but then shook her head in determination. “Amanda did as she was told though, and helped me get dressed.” She sighed. “I was in shock. I didn’t kiss her goodbye and I just drove home and came in here. I laid on my bed and wondered just what the hell had happened.”
Alex looked at her with a sympathetic gaze.
“I couldn’t understand what I was feeling and I just laid here and cried,” she said, fresh tears coming to her face as her shoulder bobbed up and down. “I was just… I was…”
“Ashamed,” Alex said for her. She looked up and drew Sam’s face up so she could look her in the eyes. “I am so… so sorry for that happening to you.”
She sighed, brushing a few stray hairs from her sister’s face. Outside the door, she heard heavy footsteps coming up the stairs. Standing, she went over to the door and peeked out. Dane was coming back in, Sally in tow.
“Dane, come in here,” Alex said.
“Alex, no,” Sam said. “Please.”
Alex shook her head. “That motherfucker isn’t getting away with this, Samantha.”
Sam shook her head, sliding out of bed and going over to plead with Alex as Dane stepped in the room.
“What’s up?” he said. He looked at Sam and Alex and could tell something was wrong. Alex gave him the basic rundown of what had happened, basically saying that he had been using sympathy and coercion to get their sister to give him oral sex, and that his wife had been a willing accomplice.
As she finished a quick version of Sam’s sad tale, Dane was clenching and un-clenching his fists.
“Please don’t tell mom and dad,” Sam begged, crying unabashedly.
Dane came up to her then and kissed her on the forehead, brushing away her tears. “I’d never do anything to embarrass you, Samantha. You’re my sister and I love you, but there’s got to be a line.”
“We can’t go to the police,” Alex said. “It technically wasn’t rape,” she said. “I mean, he’s a predator, for sure, but he didn’t force himself on her.”
“Motherfucker,” Dane said.
Sam was still crying, nuzzling against Sally who had a wide-eyed expression on her face.
“Motherfucker,” Dane said, almost yelling. Alex had never seen him so mad, not even when he’d caught her at the Twin Mountain Coffee Co.
“It wasn’t like that,” Sam said. “I was helping them, I thought…”
“No,” Alex said. “Samantha, he lied to you. He used his divorce, if there ever was one, to convince you to give him sexual pleasure. That’s a much slower and arguably much more cruel form of rape than just forcing himself on you. He lied and manipulated you.”
“Please,” she begged. “I don’t want to go to the police.”