I might be really ill, or perhaps, that extreme selfish person was the real me.
Dennis was not at the hotel. After washing up, I was ready to go out when I met Leo, who was ready to knock on my door.
Seeing my haggard face, he frowned, “Didn’t you sleep well last night?”
I put my hand between my eyes and shook my head, “Yeah. Any word on Clarie?”
He said “yes” and motioned me in.
I moved aside and made room for him to enter the room.
Sitting down on the sofa, I did not speak, but waited for his words.
He poured himself a glass of water, looked at me and said, “Clara, are you happy with Dennis?”
I frowned and said with some displeasure, “Leo, I thought you were here to talk to me about Clarie.”
He put up his hand, touched his nose, coughed and said, “Well, I did come to talk to you about Clarie. Clarie’s got Dennis and the Bennett family and the Kennedy family, so let’s talk about your problem, okay?”
I felt uncomfortable when he suddenly looked at me seriously. I pressed my lips together and looked at him, “What problem do I have?”
“Just answer my questions.”
I frowned, a little displeased. But as he stared at me, I said, “Everything had always been fine between Dennis and me.”
He pressed his lips, “I mean, are you happy?”
I always felt this was nitpicking, and it irritated me. So, I frowned and said, “Leo, can you tell me what happiness is?”
Life was so long, and it was all a story. Since it was a story, how could there be no joys and sorrows?
What was the definition of happiness?
In a good mood? If happiness could only be defined by good mood, wasn’t the definition of happiness too narrow?
He sat up straight and sighed, “Clara, you know what happiness is better than I do. You don’t want to answer me because you’re already burdened and upset in this relationship. You have a problem with Dennis, no matter what. Deep down, you still hate him, don’t you?”
I was silent, looking at the water cup in front of me, a little distracted. “So, what are you trying to say?”
“You can either leave him for good, or you can go to the hospital, get therapy, and start over with him. You and him can’t go on like this forever.”
Why?
Until now, I had no idea what was wrong with me. All I know was, I was not okay right now.
Most of the time, I had no way to control my anger and indifference.
The scars of all those years couldn’t be healed, they could only be buried. Over time, they were buried under the skin and looked fine, but once the wound was pulled up, you could see the rotting wound.
After a moment’s silence, I said, “I’ll go to the hospital, but not now.”
He nodded, not demanding too much.
A moment later, I looked up at him, “Leo, we shouldn’t be talking right now.”
He nodded, looked at me, and said, “Yeah, I know. You’re worried about Clarie. We should go find Clarie.”
“So…”
“Clara, will you listen to me first?” He put his water glass down, looked at me and said, “I need you to listen to me, but I need you to stay calm, okay?”
The words…
I asked tentatively, “So, you found Clarie, did you?”
He nodded, but he didn’t seem happy.
Looking at his pale face, I suddenly realized something might have happened to Clariana.
Pretending to be calm, I asked him, “Is there something wrong with Clarie?”
He looked at me anxiously. Then he frowned and said, “Clara, I told you, you mustn’t get too excited.”
“How could I not be excited?” I was a little angry, “I raised her all by myself, and you keep telling me not to get excited. But can you just tell me what’s going on with her? Leo, is it fun to keep you in suspense?”
He sighed when he saw me like this, “Clara, do you think, even if you saw Clarie, you wouldn’t scare her if you’re like this?”
“You haven’t told me how she’s doing, and you’re not worried it’s gonna freak me out?”
Cranky, I got straight up from the sofa and walked back and forth across the room.
He looked at me, pursed his lips, and said after a pause, “Clarie was taken by Nova Pearson. So far, the Bennett family is looking for Nova Pearson, as are we.”
I looked at him, speechless. “So, there’s still no sign of Clarie, is there?”
He frowned, “Well, we have a lead now, which is better than finding a needle in a haystack, isn’t it?”
“Yes!” I replied, didn’t want to talk to him, and called Folly on my cell phone.
The phone rang for a moment, then the other end was connected. “Clara, how’s it going?”
“I haven’t found Clarie yet. Can you check Nova Pearson’s recent movements in H Town for me?”
Folly was stunned, “Is she the one who took Clariana?”
“Yes.”
“All right, I got it. Don’t worry!”
After I hung up, I grabbed my bag and got ready to go out. Leo looked at me and said, “Are you going out?”
I was speechless, “Isn’t it obvious?”
He raised his hand and touched his nose, saying, “No, I mean, if you’re looking aimlessly, you might as well wait for them to.”
“Looking aimlessly?” I asked.
He probably thought I was too angry now to say more, so he raised his hand and signaled me to help myself.
I didn’t say anything. I just walked out of the hotel. Folly called and texted me some info on Nova Pearson’s whereabouts in H Town.
I was not familiar with H Town, so I had to take a taxi to find it.
After a few stops, Mario’s call came.
He asked me to go to the suburbs where I visited yesterday. On my way there, it started raining again in H Town.
A light rain was falling. The car pulled over, but I didn’t see anyone.
“Miss, are you sure your friend wanted you here? It’s so bleak here, you’d better call your friend to make sure about it!”
The driver kindly reminded. I looked around but I didn’t see anyone.
My eyes fell on the deserted factories. I thought about it and said to the driver, “Wait a second while I make a phone call.”
I reached for my cell phone and called Mario. The phone rang several times and was put through.
“Clare, are you there?”
I said, “Yes, I’m here. Mario, what did you call me for?”
“I found Clarie. Get over here…”
“Now that you found Clarie, why don’t you take her back?”
There was silence on the other end of the line.
A moment later, he said, “Clara, you can choose not to come.”
I frowned, “Mario, what the hell are you doing? Clarie is your own daughter.”