I don’t know how much Ethan knows of the past, but the recent dream shed a lot of light on things. If he does know, he should have told me, he would have, wouldn’t he? If he knows, does that make him bad? Does it change anything? Would it mean that he’s the same person as the one from the dream? Mentally, I shake my head.
Everything that I’ve seen of him and every moment that we’ve shared together shows and tells me that he isn’t the same. Is that because he’s had life after life of happiness to mold him into this new person?
Another pang of guilt hits me as I think of Shane. He’s there, always there it seems in the back of my mind. He’s had life after life, century after century alone in the darkness. Unloved and mateless.
Before I had the dream, I had wondered if things could have been different between the two of us. And now that I’ve seen our first life together, I know that it can be, which makes it so hard because it could have been. It could have been if not for…
It’s pointless to wonder, it’s useless to try and see things differently in this life. That’s not how it is now. I’m mated and I’m loved. Despite how bleak things look right now, despite the things I’ve done, I love Ethan.
I needed to do a test of my own. It would hurt him, I know it would. It would hurt him whether he remembered our past lives or not. It sucked but if he was the same bad Ethan, I would see his true colors. If he wasn’t the same person, at least, he would believe me.
At this point, I just needed him to believe me. I needed him to give up on me, back off, and go home. Goddess, I don’t even know if that was an option for him anymore but I could hope. I would do whatever I could to keep him alive.
“I was Shane’s originally. I belonged to him first. I was always his, always have been. The bond we were “blessed” with doesn’t get to choose my future for me.”
“You’re not making any sense, Adea. It doesn’t matter who you were with first, the Moon Goddess made you for me. Don’t you know that? It can’t be broken, we can’t be split. You are mine and I am yours. Is he forcing you to say all of this? Has he hurt you? I’m not going to give up on you. I’m not going to leave you here. You are mine and you belong with me. I will take you home… I will.”
Turning my back on him, I looked up at Shane. “Get me out of here, please. I want to leave,” I said as I looked up at him.
“What do you want us to do with him?” Devin asked.
He finally stepped forward and his eyes were on Shane. He wasn’t of any help and he wasn’t going to be of any help. He’d been suspicious of me but hopefully here, after this, he would let his guard down and trust me. Liam stepped forward with his head bowed.
“Am I going to kill him now?” Liam asked.
My eyes widened as I looked back at Shane. Fuck, no. I needed to step in and keep him alive. I couldn’t, I wouldn’t stand by and watch that. I started to panic and without thinking, I looked at Shane with unmasked emotions.
“You can’t-” I started.
“I can’t?” Shane asked.
He looked from Liam to me. His head was cocked to the side and I could practically feel his anger and pain lashing out at me. Shit, Adea. I needed to handle the situation, help Ethan, and keep Shane calm. THINK DAMMIT. His fingers dug into my arm.
“If you kill him, you’re killing me. We need to figure out a way to break the bond first. If you kill him, I might not survive the night, Shane.” He contemplated this first and I watched as he mulled it around.
“You’re strong Ady. You’ll survive,” he said.
“Shane, no, please! It’ll hurt. Let’s just try and figure out another way. Tonight, let’s focus on us. We had a great day today. Let’s have a great night too,” I said.
“I want to believe you but something isn’t adding up,” Shane growled.
“I don’t know what you want me to say. I’m asking you to let me live. I don’t want to die or be in pain tonight. I want to end the night of great with you. Please, take me home.”
I watched as my words melted the ice he had started to build. The hate started to slip away and this gaze softened. His grip on my arm loosened and the muscle in his jaw flexed and relaxed as he turned to his Gamma.
“Liam.”
“Yes, Alpha.”
“You stand guard tonight. Keep an eye on him. Don’t beat him anymore tonight. I don’t want our night to be interrupted by his death. If he tries escaping start with his limbs,” Shane said without breaking eye contact. “Anyone who might come for him dies.”
“Yes, Alpha,” Liam said.
“Devin, gather your pick of Deltas and make rounds around the pack. I have a feeling we’ve got intruders lurking. Make sure to take Duke. For all we know, we could have a pack of warriors surrounding us. We need to scope out the area outside and identify if there are any weak points. Let me know if you find anything.”
“Yes, Alpha,” Devin said. “Right away.”
With a bow, he turned and left the dungeon. Liam stared at Ethan before he followed after. I watched as he came to a stop outside the door and stood guard. Ethan was murmuring incoherently behind me. I wanted to look back and get one more glance at him but I didn’t.
“Let’s go,” I said quietly.