**TRIGGER WARNING This chapter contains sexual assault and/or violence, and suicidal thoughts that may be triggering to survivors.**
Dream
Adea
He told me he would be here, that’s what his letter had said. I didn’t look out the window, I felt defeated, instead, I dropped my chin and focused on the cold floors. The skirt was a royal blue that matched the ribbons. My fingers danced at the top of my skirt and my breath came out shuttered.
Gripping the hem, I shoved it down with one push. Goosebumps broke out all over my body as the cool air in the room enveloped my nude body. Disappointment flooded me but I couldn’t find it in me to cry. Tears didn’t prick the corners of my eyes and a sob didn’t fall from my lips.
This was my life and the sooner I came to terms with this… the easier it would be. I was a fool to think it could be any other way. I tried my hardest not to think about but all I could do was that. Maybe I just needed to submit and give up on my dream.
I should know better by now. Two whole years have passed and I’m no closer to escaping. I tried not to spiral into negativity but I had truly believed today was my last day here. I thought I would be free. Another failed plan was enough to break my spirits.
I wanted to be free, I wanted to escape, I wanted to be with the man I loved. As the image of being bent over the bed for him crossed my mind my fingers began to shake violently. Another night of being under him when I had pictured this night going so differently.
The desperation grew and grew until it began to twist around itself. I felt as if I were drowning and there was nothing I could do. With a shaky breath, I reached for the cloak. It was made of silk and caressed my skin as I draped it over my shoulders. Sliding my arms in before dropping them to my sides.
The material fell down my body, covering my hardened peaks, but leaving my sex exposed. I didn’t bother to wrap my arms around myself, I didn’t try to hide my body. It would only excite him.
He loved a fight, he loved it when he saw me in any other state than an emotionless zombie. When I first got here, I fought tooth and nail. No, I’d learned my lesson. I knew how he ticked.
I wouldn’t give him that, I wouldn’t fight him and make it more enjoyable for him. He already took what he wanted from me at his leisure. I wouldn’t do that. He always kissed me after, as if we had done something sweet and loving, not disgusting.
He whispered promises he didn’t know how to keep. Alpha believed that I loved him and I wouldn’t say anything to dispel his irrational thinking. An angry Alpha only made things worse.
There was a time when I had been desperate enough to believe him. I was desperate enough to believe he loved me in his own way, like my mate. I asked him to let me go outside, let me wander around, feel the sun. I wanted to go to the market or go for a walk.
He went crazy and accused me of trying to sneak off with another man, with the man we both knew he was threatened by. It hadn’t even been on my mind then, running from this place, I mean.
I hadn’t had the courage and I was traumatized but what was happening here. I just wanted to be able to breathe the fresh air outside and walk with the grass between my toes. I wanted to feel the sun on my skin and have some sort of time to myself.
I missed it more than my wolf. She ran through my memories over and over again to experience them. It wasn’t the same but it was all she had. I got her two weeks after coming here.
The first time I heard her, I cried for joy knowing I wasn’t alone in this hellhole but I felt bad that she was doomed to be tied to me. The first time I shift had been painful and so lonely without my family by my side.
I wanted nothing more than to run through the nearby woods but alpha had chained me up in the underground dungeons. I only went there for my first shift, now that I had shifted, he thought I didn’t need to do it again and I hadn’t been allowed to.
My wolf had howled all night. She didn’t say anything but I knew she wanted to find our mate. Alpha hadn’t only robbed me of a happy life with my mate but also Korra. Alpha didn’t trust me not to try and break out and run away. He always told me not to try because I wouldn’t make it far. The punishment would leave me bloody.
I started for the door, my hand froze on the see-through crystal vintage doorknob and I pulled it open before I could scare myself. Ava was leaning against the brick wall, her head turned to me as I walked out, and her eyes trailed down my body.
Disgust, anger, and jealousy flashed in her eyes but she didn’t say a word. She turned her nose up into the air and turned from me. If Alpha hadn’t been waiting for me this would have been the perfect time to hit her over the head and run.
I already knew there wasn’t any use in trying it. He would soon come looking for me. Not only had I never had the chance to spread out my paws and run with Korra but I didn’t have any hope of outrunning him.
He would catch up to me and there would be hell to pay. No, I knew better. I just needed to get through tonight. Tomorrow would be another day and I- There was a flash of movement and I jumped back as Ava cried out.