Angel
I listened to Thea and contacted Lola. I set our meeting for the next day. We met at a restaurant close to a designer store where I had dropped Thea to do some shopping while she waited. I had made reservations for a Vip space in the restaurant so that we could have the privacy we needed to talk about business. Less people were on this space and they weren’t even close to us. A waiter serves serves us our drink and gestures a smile before leaving. It was just me and Lola and things got a little bit awkward. We stare at each other for a while and I could see the red tint on her cheek, she tucked her lips in trying to surpress a blush and it reminded me of Thea, the times she did that.
“You’re smiling.” Lola says breaking the silence and bringing me back to reality.
“I’m I?”
“Mmhmm….” She hums and I chuckle. I had been thinking about Thea and enjoying the feeling that I didn’t realize it had translated to a smile.
“You always appear too serious. I only see your playful side when you are around your friends and most especially your sister.” She said and I nodded slightly, agreeing to her observations. “Though you two always go back and forth.” She concluded and raised her glass to swirl the content.
I chuckle at her words thinking about Cassandra. “Cassandra… She’s a spoilt brat.” I said and chuckled again. She was a really stubborn person.
“She’s your sister.”
“You’re not on her side now, are you?”
“No, I just think she has a strong personality, confident, bold and sas… She’s indeed your sister.” Lola said complimenting Cassandra. I scoffed at her thoughts about my sister. Those were good traits but then Cassandra could get under anyone’s skin with such attitude, easily. I got the most part of it.
“I guess.” I said after a little thought about her compliment. No one speaks again, we just stare at each other, making it awkward again. I wanted her to start the conversation the way she felt comfortable to do it. In order to distract myself from the awkwardness I delved into my thoughts about Thea and I couldn’t wait for this meeting to be over so that I could go be with her.
“You’re strangely cheerful today. Did something good happen.” Lola said and I was startled. I was thinking about some very sweet moments with Thea when I heard her speak.
“I don’t know, I have your brother to take out of the picture. So, I’m not sure.” I said, even with that issue at hand, it didn’t stop the bliss I felt in my heart, I guess it was Thea’s effect on me, I just felt weightless in my heart with her presence in my life. Everything seemed peaceful and beautiful.
“You can stop calling him my brother. He is just sparrow to me.” She said and I hesitated before answering.
“Sure….”
“I hate him. I have no love for him so I can’t pretend to care.” She explained further. There was no need for that because if I were her I wouldn’t want someone calling him my brother.
“I understand.” I said and she nodded beaming a smile at me. I squinted feeling uncomfortable with her smile… It was too loving.
“That’s why I want to be of help to you.”
She said and I sit up adjusting in my seat properly. I feel even more concerned than I felt before coming here. I needed to get things straight with her.
“Lola….”
“Yes.” She answered in a less exciting tone. The manner in which I had called her name hinted a warning to her. Whatever I was going to say wasn’t pleasant.
“You had other options, text, call. Why did you want to see me? It’s possible that whatever you have to tell me I may already know.”
“May….” She said emphasizing. She smiles and brings out her phone and places it on the table while I look at it on the table
I remain silent waiting for her to speak first.
“Thank you for coming despite not seeing the need to.” She said looking slightly hurt. I felt guilty but then I couldn’t give her a pity party. I needed to be clear with her.
“Thea and I are back together.” I blurted and she froze before breaking her silence with a chuckle.
“And why are you telling me this?”
“In case you’d like to change your mind about the information you’re about to share.”
Her face constrict, she chuckles again and her expression fills with hurt and disappointed.
“You must not have high thoughts about me.” She said. I guess I was too direct with my opinions about her but how was I to convey my thoughts in a way that didn’t drag the issue on other than being straight forward to her. I didn’t want an information that was based on her emotional expectations. I needed her to understand that whatever information she was going to give me should have no attachment to it.
“I don’t mean to offend you Lola but I need us to be clear that whatever exchange we are having should have no attachment.”
I voiced out my thoughts and she just stared at me.
“Well, you’re wrong.” She said looking very serious.
“Lola….”
“Angel….” She called desperately, blinking and sniffing back the tears that tried to well up in her eyes. “I’m not going to sit here and lie to myself one more day and I won’t sit here and lie to you either.” She got me more interested. I needed to understand things better.
“I understand that you don’t want to get my hopes high or give me the slightest hint that I could still dream about having you but you’re back together, really?” She said expression how hurt she was. Her eyes watered and were red from the pain she felt in her heart. I couldn’t imagine the amount of pain she was feeling now. Her voice did nothing to hide the hurt as well.
“Yes.” I answered and she lets out a shaky gasp as if having her heart broken all over again.
“So I don’t get a chance….” She mutters and laughs uneasily while I remained silent. ” I know I asked for a chance if things didn’t work out with you and Thea. I know you didn’t love me but hope wasn’t a bad thing.”
I remained silent still. I had nothing to say to her. I just let her process the news and react the way she dimmed fit.
“I always thought about you, I missed you so much Angel. I’d always wonder, were you and Thea together or not? If you shared a kiss yet or not? Would he ever call me? I’d ask myself that. I fantasized you coming over, talking things out and finally giving me a chance.”
“Lola….” I called again feeling really sorry for her but she cut me off.
“I was wrong. At least now I know I’d never get a chance.” I’m completely speechless, what do I say to a woman who was heart broken because of me? Love was difficult and not being loved was hard enough. I guess I was lucky to have loved and be loved.”
“It hurts and I hate it. I hate that she lays in your arms or that you kiss her or even make love to her. It tears me into pieces Angel.”
“Lola, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“I’m not blaming you. I’m just unfortunate.”
“Don’t say that.”
“I’m lonely and the weight of my father’s business is all on me. I do not have friends. I don’t even know what my life is all about yet all I wanted to do was reach out to you because I wanted to see you.” I watched her pour out her heart, how had she been holding it in all this while. ” I knew you were avoiding me but when I saw your calls, I didn’t mind. I just wanted to see you.” She said and chuckled bitterly. “How pathetic?”
I didn’t say a word, I just listened. That was the best I could do for her and her hurting heart.
“So forgive me if I was petty but I spied on my father to get information about sparrow, anything that could get me a meeting with you. I wanted to help you because I love you Angel. I know this will be going against my father but I can’t have sparrow hurt you.”
“You don’t need to do this Lola, you don’t have to betray your father for me.”
“I already went this far. Why stop now?”
“Because he is family. You should put your family first. I’d do the same.” I said and she let out a heavy sigh. She went through all this length for me and all because she loved me. I was grateful but I could never repay the debt in the manner that she wanted me to. I couldn’t love her back.
“Sparrow is moving your goods out in three weeks time and my father is helping him out. The Columbians won’t do business with him, they know the goods are yours.” She said in one breath and it triggered me.
“He is going to sell what he has left of my goods?” I was angry, really angry. I had gone through so much to get a contact who could offer me such quality of coke, I paid from the cartel’s reserve and yet that bastard was reaping the fruits of my labour.
“Whatever you are doing, do it fast.” I must admit, Sparrow was sly, despite planting bugs in Manuel’s house, sparrow wouldn’t discuss his meeting with his father to Manuel. He was going to move the goods without Manuel’s knowledge. So much for helping him.
“This is a recording of my dad’s conversation with him.” Lola says playing it.
“I can’t repay you for this information.”
“You’re here with me that’s enough reward.”
“Lola….”
“You don’t need to say it. I know my place. You love Thea and there’s nothing I can do about that but maybe you can spare lunch time for me. This once….” She pleaded, I could see how much she wanted this but I couldn’t do that to Thea.
“I know I’m indebted to you even if you don’t ask for anything much.”
“Lunch is a good appreciation.” She chuckled nervously, I could see that she was hoping I’d accept.
“I’m sorry but I can’t join you for lunch.” Her face falls in disappointment.
“Why?”
“I have plans.”
“With Thea?” I remain silent but she understood and smiled bitterly. “It was nice spending time with you Angel. Till next time.” She says standing to her feet.
“Thank you.” I said and held her arm, stopping her from leaving. “I’m truly grateful Lola.” She doesn’t say anything, she only gives me a nod and leaves. I sigh and fall back to my seat then I pick up my phone to call Thea.
“Hi baby.” A smile brightens up my face, I felt so happy to hear her voice. “Are you done?”
“Mmhmm.” I hummed a yes.
“Okay….” Her word dragged and I knew she wanted to ask how the meeting went but was holding back. I let out another heavy sigh before speaking again.
“I’m on my way to you.”
I hear her sigh in relieve then she says.”You better hurry.”